u/autumnmoon9

Looking for encouragement/advice about next steps!

I’m a 5.7.5” 31 yo woman who started counting calories in May after weighing in at 202.4 at my doctor’s appointment. I put on 20 lb in the past year/30 in the past two—I got walloped by rebound COVID two years ago and became really sedentary as a result, was under a lot of stress, took emergency contraception a few times (idk if that made a difference but it was unpleasant). My goal is to get down to around 170. I log using MyFitnessPal and try to stay at 1570 a day, with the occasional maintenance breaks around my period and a handful of holiday cheat days.

At that point, I was lightly active—mostly remote desk work, pretty sedentary, a couple days of walking a week. I lost 7.9 lb in May and felt very encouraged by the rate of loss, but only lost 2 lb in June and stayed stagnant in July. In late July, I started couch 2 5k again, with the hopes of speeding up loss, getting more fit, and giving myself a little more wiggle room. I found myself gaining weight in August and September, and I’m at about 196 now. I’m feeling really frustrated with the slow rate of loss despite being more active and wondering what I can do to improve more/any hacks for lowering deficit and not getting hangry or frustrated. I’m finding I’m not able to fit into the clothes I’d like to wear, and it gets me really down and affects my confidence. One thing I’ve considered is cortisol levels but idk. Appreciate any consolation/encouragement/advice.

Five years ago, I was stealthed by a guy I was dating. It was a gray area experience, and I was inexperienced, so it took me a long time to stop blaming myself for what happened and accept that it was wrong.

At the time, I was living with family during the pandemic, working in a health-adjacent field, and grieving the loss of two family members. I turned to my mom for support, who I think meant well but struggled to help me. She’d use a lot of victim-blaming language like, “you made a mistake,” and got frustrated with me when I talked about giving the guy another chance. During this time, I was really not well—I could hardly eat and I was so consumed with anxiety and rumination. I was seeing a therapist at the time who wasn’t great and wasn’t giving me the support I needed, so I was calling help lines and posting on reddit, desperate for something to click and help me get through the day.

At some point, when I expressed my overwhelm to my mother, she told me, “I’m embarrassed to have raised a daughter who can’t handle anything.” This really hurt, and it stuck with me. The incident challenged everything I believed about myself: that I was strong, confident, and smart. Afterward I felt weak, anxious, and doubtful.

Eventually, I realized my mother couldn’t give me the support I needed. Over the past five years, I found a new therapist, did EMDR, started pursuing some of my passions, and entered a loving relationship. But I honestly still feel like I’m not enough for my mom. She constantly makes little digs about me not liking the same things as she does, listening to alternative music, coasting in my career, etc etc. I make an effort to show an interest in her life and hobbies, but I do not feel like it is reciprocated. Recently, we got into a big fight. I said something about how I’m clearly a disappointment to her and mentioned the comment she made five years ago and how it stuck with me. She got really upset—I think she thinks I’m lying about her saying that, and she keeps saying she spent hours and hours trying to help me and even if she did say that she might have just been at her wit’s end. I feel like she sees herself as a victim because I believed one careless thing she said when she was otherwise a good mother, and now I’m challenging her perception of herself as a good mom. And it might have been a throwaway comment, but it hurt, and now I feel villainized for being hurt by it. I know it must have been hard for her to support me, but can’t she see the experience was hard for me too, and it honestly led to so much wasted time and energy on my end?

Idk if anyone has dealt with anything similar and how you’ve coped with finding support or just accepting you won’t have support from loved ones.

I’m thinking about going to WTMD’s First Thursday at Canton Waterfront Park this week. I’ll be driving in from the suburbs. What’s the parking situation like there? Looks like a small lot and a nearby pay lot but not much else around. Thank you very much!

Hi all! I’m bringing a vegan friend to OPACY for the first time this summer. Any suggestions for vegan-friendly food at the stadium? I saw there have been threads in the past, but I know concessions change over time. Thanks for your time and help!