u/avatar60000

I am a person with multiple interests. And so much curiosity that my mind will wither with the wind.

Too many interests / hobbies. Can’t keep up with , and I keep adding more.

Work is some side quest to me. Just for the paychecks. But I’m lacking there as well. How much ever I deny, there is some level of earnings that is expected. That insecurity makes me anxious. I don’t even want to work in IT.

Generally- I don’t know what I want from life. Career wise. Goals wise. I know I want to try as many things. Watch too many movies. Travel. Food. And Ngl bedrot sometimes too.

The constant pressure of “u can do better” just kills me inside. All of them friends family colleagues bf.

Need to take care of some health issues , visit therapist too for mental health , work on switching careers, work on moving out of parents house, work on my interests (which are 100) (priority which I’m unable to) , studying, keeping up with shit , gym , ugh. I can’t.

All of it and I end up doing nothing. Also I feel like bcz of my stupid past decisions, which have shaped my teenage and early twenties (formative years) and I deleted those from my head. Feels like I started life some 2-4 years ago. Hence the urgency to catchup or something.

And my title isn’t even appropriate to this post.

I have an amazing bf and friends- who have achieved well in life , ofcourse everyone has their thing , no comparison but it does hit the nerve. Then I go into isolation mode.

Would appreciate some advice on how to navigate. Or any insight.

I am a person with multiple interests. And so much curiosity that my mind will wither with the wind.

Too many interests / hobbies. Can’t keep up with , and I keep adding more.

Work is some side quest to me. Just for the paychecks. But I’m lacking there as well. How much ever I deny, there is some level of earnings that is expected. That insecurity makes me anxious. I don’t even want to work in IT.

Generally- I don’t know what I want from life. Career wise. Goals wise. I know I want to try as many things. Watch too many movies. Travel. Food. And Ngl bedrot sometimes too.

The constant pressure of “u can do better” just kills me inside. All of them friends family colleagues bf.

Need to take care of some health issues , visit therapist too for mental health , work on switching careers, work on moving out of parents house, work on my interests (which are 100) (priority which I’m unable to) , studying, keeping up with shit , gym , ugh. I can’t.

All of it and I end up doing nothing. Also I feel like bcz of my stupid past decisions, which have shaped my teenage and early twenties (formative years) and I deleted those from my head. Feels like I started life some 2-4 years ago. Hence the urgency to catchup or something.

And my title isn’t even appropriate to this post.

I have an amazing bf and friends- who have achieved well in life , ofcourse everyone has their thing , no comparison but it does hit the nerve. Then I go into isolation mode.

Would appreciate some advice on how to navigate. Or any insight.

In LDR with my bf , it’s been 2.5 months. All great. Ideology philosophy ideas goals etc. it’s like we found each others missing puzzle.
Online.- we watch movie or video call or do stuff just the video being on.
If We meet - food, make out, travel enjoy all good.

But I tend to go anxious mode with all my overthinking. And he is calm af which is offensive.
I think there’s a certain way I want to spend the day when everything “settles” (I hate how settle is a word. I love the intensity and the eagerness)

I am unable to wrap my head around and just be / exist.
I’m scared if it isn’t the way I want to be loved. I don’t even know how I want to be loved.

I’m scared to move into his city. Which is preplanned. What if I don’t get the energy back. I’ll be devastated. There’s always the uncertainty factor that freaks me out. And I don’t know what to do. No one can love me