u/ballsacc420

I can never seem to actually lock in on a hobby or practice or do something for a long time. I am interesred in a lot of things and want to do and create many things but I spend so much time just thinking thoughts and daydreaming thinking about what could be but doing nothing about it.

Don't get me wrong I have done stuff in the past but I can't stay consistent and organized and always find it easier to just live in my head and do nothing.

I guess the only hobbie I have stayed consistent with is bike riding because it allows me to just space out and daydream lol.

I am very introverted but also a lot of times enjoy being in the spotlight. I'm not really talkative but I like being noticed or recognized for something. I struggle with understanding social norms or things like eye contact and have had people get mad at me while I didn't understand why.

My brain thinks a bunch of thoughts at once and makes connections to things that are barely related and it can cause me to get distracted or lose track very easily. I also have a hard time putting all of my jumbled thoughts into words so I end up stuttering a lot.

Currently at this point in my life, I am 19 about to be 20, and really don't know what I want to do. I am very interested in things like psychology and philosophy but career wise, I'm thinking about maybe going into a trade.

I have always wanted to create something that I can make my own, whether that be through social media or music. I love the idea of being able to costumize my own unique persona or aesthetic through these things. Although, I tend to not follow through with a lot of my ideas since I overestimate them in my daydreams and then when it comes to actually executing them, idk what I'm doing lol.

I have a tendency to compare myself to others as well, not really so much anymore but when I was younger I would a lot and would feel envious very easily of even the littlest things.

I'm also a perfectionist but not really with "important" stuff. More just with mundane stuff like, "I have to touch the chair 3 times in order for it to officially be the next day" and stuff like that lol.

Although at the same time I do struggle a LOT with keeping organized and often miss a bunch of details that to other people seem obvious.

I have a tendency to obsess over a few certain things and then forget about everything else.

I also often feel like I'm observing myself from an outside perspective, like I'm not just living by myself in my own world, like I am a different person observing and judging what I do and questioning why I do the things I do and why things are the way they are.