u/beach-cow

Anyone know if there will be a public vigil for him at any point? I really hope so. I was thinking of going to Rio Theater just to have somewhere to pay my respects and cry a lil.
Anyway, my heart is with his family and friends and all those who passed in that crash. I was genuinely shaking when I found out. Such a hard loss, man. Bet he’s smiling and laughing up in heaven tho, love you Oliver, rest in peace you legend❤️🙏🏼

I’m really freaked out and worried I could get fired. I’ve been having a bad mental health day, and the past week, then today I mixed up my work schedule and arrived to a day shift instead of the closing shift I was scheduled.
I was flustered and while figuring that out with my manager I mentioned I was having a bad day. She was very sweet about it and then I left in a hurry saying ‘see you later’

This was the last straw in my mental state today. I’ve been super emotional lately and have been in therapy for a long time which has been helping exponentially. I don’t have panic attacks as often as I used to but I recently lost 2 important people in my life in a short time span and I’ve been drowning in grief. It’s made my anxiety so much worse lately. Other family problems have also been a huge stressor.

Usually this mix up wouldn’t affect me as bad but today I couldn’t handle everything inside me.
I immediately called my boyfriend on the way back home and was venting and crying. Once I got home I was just done, I had such a bad panic attack that lasted forever. by the time I was supposed to actually be leaving for work, I was a wreck and could barely function in my brain. I was so dissociated and I was still anxious and ranting and cycling in my doubt and fears to my boyfriend. I knew there was no way I could drive again and I knew I had to call in but I was dreading it. My favorite coworker ended up picking up which was honestly very comforting, she also said some very kind words and advice to me which made me cry all over again.

But In my anxiety haze I didn’t even think to ask to speak to my manger. All I said was can you tell our manger I won’t be able to come in for my shift. But I forgot to even say a reason so I have no clue what my coworker said. And my manger saw me earlier when I came in which makes me mortified. I do trust this coworker so so much and she’s the sweetest and she understood my situation so that’s good
but what makes this the worst is that my boyfriend drove me around at one point while I was crying because our house is crowded- we had to pass by my work and I saw both my managers outside on their smoke break and one looked to be talking angrily and I’m terrified it’s about me.
Sorry for over explaining im so worried and have so much shame after my panic attack in general so this weird situation is making me so scared. Im scared they’ll confront me and i have to go in tomorrow and im going to apologize but the shame and guilt is eating me alive right now. I feel sick and worried and I hate anxiety and trauma and grief. It’s exhausting and I’m scared I’ll loose my job and I feel so stupid in life at this fucking age