u/bells-on-her-shoes-

Been practicing as a lawyer for 2 years in nyc (F27). I’ve never identified as a nerd (not into fandom stuff, tech, gaming, math or sciences etc.), but def an ~academic~ type. I fantasized about grad school having mahogany libraries, interesting debates and student clubs. I’ve found the idea of being a student forever a romantic ideal; it’s not something I can afford but if I could, I would, etc. However, law school was so vocational and everyone around me was dumb? I’m not calling myself smart. In fact, I didn’t even get good grades in law school, my “dumb” peers outshone me in every measurable way. But I actually like reading, debate, experimenting with new ideas or substances etc; classic “grad student shit” or at least what I assumed was that. I was surrounded by absolute normies, swifites, people who got good grades in undergrad and moved to nyc to become boring lawyers via the conveyor belt system that is law school. I basically “code switched “ to fit in, made “friends” there with whine I’ve never discussed anything deeper than Bravo television and secretly felt so robbed of my dream for an enriching experience. I know I’m a working person now but I’m young and I still have this untapped fantasy of academia. I want to be among people who want to learn, discuss things, experiment, etc. Will I ever be among these types again? Or do I need to consider this “part of growing up” and grieving the collegiate experience?

Just finished Windup Bird Chronicles. I’ve read Norwegian Wood and Sputnik Sweetheart already. In Sputnik Sweetheart I saw the magical elements as a clear metaphor for depersonalization as a result of trauma. However in Windup Bird I have taken all of the magic to be literal, and simply suspended my disbelief. To be honest, it didn’t even occur to me that it might be symbolic for psychosis or anything other than exactly what was described to me. When I finished the book and had more questions than answers, I turned to some YouTube video essays or other Reddit posts and was completely embarrassed to have taken it all so literally and not interpreted Toru’s journey down the well as a downward spiral- I thought it was more like Alice down the rabbit hole… idk if this is relaxant in anyway but I am a 27 year old woman living in a major city, and work as a lawyer. Am I stupid?!

I (27f) am looking to do some type of yoga/meditation retreat. I generally vibe with Three Jewels Yoga, Sky Ting, and Souk. I would spend up $3k for the right experience as long as it’s generally close to NYC (no flight), and 5 days or less. I am interested in Kripalu but I worry it would mostly be much older people? I’ve been a yogi for a long time and have always wanted to eventually do a retreat but a large part of the reason I’m seeking one out right now is to expand my social circle and find some more likeminded friends. It would be great to find a retreat that is popular in my demographic. Any insight or wisdom is appreciated!

I (27F), graduated as the class of 2024 and have been employed at a boutique firm in a niche industry ever since. I LOVE the work that I do, and respect the hell out of our clients and partners. That said, our firm is TINY, and top heavy. I am one of 4 associates and we have 8 partners.

When I started, the most recent before me (let’s call her Pam) was an associate in her 3rd year at the firm. I was the baby in every sense of the word- fresh outta school and in my first job. I was learning a lot, and fast. Then, about 3 months into my start, Pam left. Down to 3 associates with hundreds of clients, the other two associates (who frankly are old enough and experienced enough to be partners themselves but are suck as associates bc of our structure) were sent into overdrive. They barely had time to train me, and any tasks they had, they did themselves bc they didn’t have time to give it to a baby lawyer and then spend hours correcting/teaching. For about two months I spent hours reading PDFs from the internet at my desk to appear as if I was working. Finally, we hired a replacement. He lasted about 3 months before he had a family emergency (a sad one at that) that took him away from us. It was back to square one. We were down to 3 again for 6 months this time. We just hired someone new again, a mid-level- let’s call her Brenda. Brenda has been quickly integrated bc she has experience already.

I feel I am being failed by mg own firm. They needed an associate when they hired me, but not desperately. They could train me at a normal pace, expecting they had built a dream team. Then, a revolving door effect began and they became hamstrung and I have bee strung along in the process.

If I can root my own horn for a moment, I think I am bright, interested, and passionate. I WANT to be a great attorney and I know my firm is prestigious, with great clientele and impressive partners. However, through a strange set of circumstances, I can feel myself getting left behind. If I even tried to go elsewhere I’m embarrassed about the lack of skills I have to show for being a 2nd year.

What’s a girl to do?!??

I 27(f) walk a mile to and from my office, play tennis once a week, do personal training once a week, and try to do two other barre or Pilates classes a week aside from generally hitting a good amount of daily steps living in a big city. However, NOTHING seems to compensate for the damage that desk sitting does to my weak core, tight hip flexors and horrible posture and those stale hours of inactivity. How do fellow professionals cope? :/ the marketing baddies and unemployed friends are so much hotter

EDIT: I am 5’3” and around 120 lbs. Body fat percentage 23% but it’s concentrated in thighs and lower stomach which I feel gives the skinny fat appearance.

EDIT: how can I add a pic?