I think I'm ready to give up
Remove if not allowed, I'm sorry.
I decided last year to try to learn Max and got a license in January with the intention of slowly learning basics over the next year. It's now 8 months in and I feel like I've learned nothing. I tried going through the built in tutorials first, they are very well made. But I didn't retain anything and I honestly just don't learn that way. So I tried watching tutorials on YouTube, but many of them are just too advanced for me or don't have anything to do with what I'd like to learn (I don't care about jitter really).
So I tried to brute force things and rely on help and reference files build in, but I can barely even figure out how to get sound to come out of Max in the first place.
"Think of something very small you'd like to build and learn it slowly"
Okay, say I want to build a simple sequencer that plays 4 short audio clips (drum sequencer). Okay.....how do I do that?
I'm so discouraged being 8 months in and I sit down open a new patch and I'm like "okay, I'll do something this time" and all I can do is get a sine wave to come out. I can't even figure out how to implement an envelope to happen.
A little extra information, I'm not diagnosed but I have realized as an adult that I am intellectually disabled. This hurts my self esteem a lot but it explains a lot about why I'm bad at everything I do. I also have a physical disability that causes me immense pain and makes it difficult to concentrate on things, but I'm fighting not to let that win.
What other resources are there for me? Is this just a case of not being a good fit for me?
Edit to add: when I said "I can't even figure out how to get an envelope to happen" I am referencing the help files for the objects, even looking at the example patches for, example adsr object I still cannot figure out how to make it work. That's how stupid I am.