u/bingeboy

I live in a semi remote area and the local yoga studio has an Ashtanga class and I was curious what they were doing. I figured it would be a half primary led class.

I traded an email with the teacher and they have zero Ashtanga training and also said they add their own flair to the class.

I mean clearly it’s not Ashtanga and it’s kinda breaking Yama. I was questioned what I was talking about with “primary” and a “series” of poses.

I’m not a yoga cop lol, but i found it kinda gross and now a studio I would never attend. I’ve had major injuries in classes and seems high risk to me.

I’m out on the mountain 🏔️ but I’m looking for a bass player to vibe with and a drummer or drum machine I’m 47 and 100% degen. I’d also be down with some weird synth stuff… so u into that Doctor Who show intro kinda stuff.

I haven’t gigged in forever and I need some work; I can get there kinda quickly like 1k practice maybe less since I doubt we will ever get payed 💰but who knows?. and I’m down to practice constantly as long as we are kinda close to each other. Like I can’t drive 2hrs a day to practice.

I want to make a very psychedelic kinda vibe soundscape void improv thing kinda dungeon synth but more outdoorsy with a 19th century modern take on France. Kinda Balzac. with a touch of some covers. Other influences too but this post is already long enough.

Any takers? It’s going to get weird. There will be some sort of invocation required and some minor requirements. I’m sure I’ll have a few paranoid bug outs and fuel fill rants but it’s all love ❤️

It’s cool. Like sorry this isn’t for the faint or heart. It’s going to take a lot of work.

I’m sort of envisioning this Bet Easton Ellis wall of glass playing backyards and BBQ jawns in the suburbs just soaking it in. The Pdx rumor mill drifts through a wide distorted lens and we got thicc sunglasses on and we just doing our thing like ghosts.

Trust me. it’s going to be very unhinged kinda diplomatic and 100 academic. U can be a normie but be warned we have to meet at the end of time.

Let me know. I think my DM settings are working. So whatevz. 🕊️

I kept running into this one woman online like the only person i ever match with. I’m rural, she isn’t.

Typically, she messaged and wouldn’t respond, or I would maybe respond the she would bounce who knows. It’s been a loop for years. Matched for 5th time. My only match ever lol.

Me my vibe:
So I’m happy crushing it solo. Kinda rare. I been single forever but my depression or I call it the darkness like to sneak up on me and grab me.

Anyway this community has help. I’m confident in who I am my path in front of me. From heart to mind I’ve been locked in, which is rare for me. Like 12 years since I felt like this.

I tell my friends I’m just waiting for GO. I’m doing all my creative thinking career stuff cheering on friends and trying to collaborate unit and conquer what’s that is.

Back to the Woman:
Anyway me and her trade a few messages and they are funny light hearted and the next day I was like yo I’m out I don’t like these dating apps I don’t like how they mine my data here are my digits if I want hit me up or else I’ll see on you next time.

She messages me like when ever few hour later I don’t remember. I say her. We banter a little. I and I’m sort of meh I’m crushing it. Every partner I have sort of brings me down. Like I want one that complements me and we give each other space.

Anyways. I’m am very guarded and I know the city near me is a rumor mill and I don’t like that.

I don’t like noise because I don’t need to get emotional attached and deal with drama. friend thing or whatever. Like to me zero expectations she vibes with that.

Anyway since I live in rural area and very forth coming and open like a book about me what I do pics of my dog just to make her feel safe that I’m not some maniac out in know where because I get it. A woman meeting a guy out here could feel intimidate i get that so I do “over share” which I hate doing but I do it to make it more chill. Anyway we banter and I run around. I am verbose very winded as always in my messages.

I said hey sorry I’m verbose because her replies are like 3 words. NP I like it

Any way I’m sort of have eastern beliefs that run my rules in that sense a little. Not super strict but I lean that way. Anyway I sort of lay down kinda deeper than normal stuff? Like my work my hobbies I like read alot of more
difficult stuff or whatever stuff but I go hard. Anyway other girls or now friends say I’m intense to meet because I’m “smart” like I’m not flexing I’m just like a guy that goes deep and reads and does stuff but ive been told my 3 friends that are girls that when they meet me they are intimidated by me which I found very odd. Like idk I’m normal like many of my old peers.

So I don’t like opening up emotionally because I get hurt and I feel like to warm up with a new friend it’s part of the process. She keep reply and like why the mystery open the book tell me what ur into. I know nothing u know all.

Anyway this morning I’m up early like 5am doing my coffee and md and it just and write her like since she had this ani agentic thing and I get that and I’m like in the good side of computer stuff like nonprofit i fight for the people not for the companies.

She laid into me about ai and the environment. Totally get it but like the current is strong u can’t fight it. Like within reason. It’s a world view. We were cool about it kept talking.

So my morning message I’m hey I’m not sure about all this. I got left basically at the end of time years ago and was in a dark place. No friends in a place I had no community not. Like left to rot. It took years meditation trial and error 4yrs later I have two friends in town and one remote they moved. So I’m just like yo I got left in a hard spot and I’m a hermit.

She is also a hermit supposedly, and I was like “listen being real here It’s been a struggle. I’m back on my game in crushing it I flow and life it good. I don’t know about all this chatter because I’m good”.

Ur a hermit I’m a hermit that’s cools like maybe we can be friends but emotions are hard be cause I show my heart it gets stomped every time. I’m say I’m not here to hold ur hand or be some cringe dude. Like I want a friend to kick it with. Like I want a friend maybe a partner but I’m mid 40s don’t need drama need friends.

I tell her
I look in the mirror, I see myself from heart to mind and the world around me and I flow it’s good, I’m crushing it I don’t want that darkness near me. Meaning like I’ve already exposed a lot about myself u haven’t idk whatever, have a good one bye. but sign off telling ur cool keep crushing it. U know you wilth a wink. Basically, end on a high note we both keep crushing whatevr.
Figured that was good bye, get me day going. Time to do my stuff.

Then I get another message from her i don’t know what to say to any of this.” Which she also said about random things I was sharing. Typical stuff in my work, like my dog or like my plans for the day like whatever this is me what I do.
Im a little witty and spiritual but chill low key. Whats good yadayada

I figured it was a done deal she writes back. I’m like yeah maybe I washed my hand with muddy water... all good enjoy ur day.

Like, not a big deal to me. I showed who was. Maybe it’s intense but like deal with it or move on. That's me.

Then I get another message like “ur saying this to a stranger”.

Which I had also use "stranger" a few times which i used as a flight mechanic. Because I don’t like to open up to a strangers, but she kept following me down the rabbit hole and only interested in replying when I open up.

I said yeah idk I deleted that message. Ugh, I had a morning, do me a solid and delete it the message. wrong path wrong time bye

But then like 2hrs later I’m like what did I say that was so bad and I don’t see anything bad just me and my state or life and who I am at my core.

Clearly, I’m not responding to her. I’ve shared enough if she wants to engage cool ? Idk. She seems interest and we are both hermits so it sounds fun to have a bud to chat with. Just so one to do X with maybe it goes somewhere maybe we just friends.

I don’t understand why thats so hard to hear. I think my Md can make me write clearly like I’m an open book. I had a wild life that’s me. I can be interesting and intense but not like aggro or trying to smooth talk just like academic and somewhat witty.

Idk now I feel bad,off, and embarrassed but look back I’m like why did I even say thats bad. Like I don’t care that’s me from tooth to nail. Deal with it. There were no specifics just vague occurrences that put me here to date.
Idk if it’s md pushing me to open. I’m clearly giving this too much thought which i kept saying you know I don’t need this and she kept following. And now I’m like meh. I’m off my game. I was crushing it until the noise.

I’m not writing her again clearly. She can message I guess but I’m not opening up. I mean to me after a few message you slowly get to know each other and thats life. Life works like that now. Ugh im conflicted do i block her, just let it rest. I don’t like my thoughts wasted on this. I got other stuff to do but it’s dragging me.

So I ramble

edit sp

Any Heads out there see Garcia shred a banjo back in the day? I’m talking 60-70s three finger throw down Scruggs style.

I’m just curious if he ran picks or just barebacked it.
I’m assuming at least a thumb pick but I have no clue.
He was such a bullet proof player back then.

🌻❤️💀🌹⚡️✌️

looking for some circles to play acoustic guitar in. I’m a non gigging hobbyist with ⏳. I’m east of Pdx about an hour.

I’m down for whatever. Bluegrass or anything really just want to sling some notes 🎶 🙏

So I been in a micro of L for about 5-6weeks. I’m bad and have no clue how much I take but I’m able to operate in the world fine I barely feel anything just like a warmness from within and clear thoughts. whatevr low dose.

I thought it would be wise to just not take any and just check my baseline. My depression just slivered right back in. Like a shadow I can’t shake. It’s not bad as it can be and I have a therapist, we cool we talk. It’s standard been at it for 15 years.

I’m middle age. Very isolated. Come into town weekly to see my buddies band and chill with the crew. I’m exercising daily for like an hour. I’m in some of the best shape in my life and I super social when I’m in a group. I love chatting with interesting people about anything.

I connect with people but I have my guard up from just terrible history with partners. When I meet new friends of the opposite sex it’s like I really just want a friendship I think it’s called demisexual where u want to build a relationship first and it’s like when ever I start talking with someone new. I’m a man btw if that matters 😆

Idk 🤷‍♂️ someone reached out to hangout with me and our timing was off twice and then what I took as a person I would rap with and trust like trade messages because we’re like an hour apart just got cold and distant like ice cold. I’m not really stressing like I go with flow accept the world around me flow. Change is constant adapt don’t fight.

My view is I’m not going to have a partner but it’s hard sometimes because I just want some casual human chats outside of my town visits. Anyway these thoughts came to the surface and it’s like my typical vibe and I deal with it and fight the good fight against any darkness from within.
I’m reflecting and wonder if MD is a crutch, a prop for life. But so are so many other things in life.

I’m a loner just trying things. GitHub has a lot of things I don’t care for but I do like the PAT feature.

With large projects leaving GitHub what are recommendations for an alt remote origin provider? I use to use bitbucket back in the day. Idk if that’s even a thing anymore.

Curious 👀 what the new flavor is any why?
Cheers.

Man I just made a poisoned branch. Interesting. I think that’s a first for me. I thought there was a GitHub outage or something with my merge conflict not working. Lulz ☠️

Ah vibe coding is 🤠 these days. ❤️

Now that I’ve gone agentic I feel like very unhinged. It was a night and day realization. I was a decent engineer that burnt out and moved into a remote region of the country and have been laser focus on this tech since I came up for air a few years ago helping a nonprofit.

This stuff I’m doing now I find absolutely absurd and when I tell people especially around here they think I’m in the middle of a manic episode or something.

It’s wild af and I have no one to talk to about it.

I’m also looking for a job and have cool examples if anyone is interested. 😂

What is the timeframe for an MCP tool release for the trader app? Is that even on the roadmap? TY Cheers xo

I feel like a newb for not using git workingtrees. Someone drop some knowledge as I pull my head of my ass.

I’m setting up openclaw and was originally going to use ollama then I was reading about how it doesn’t optimize resources as well so I switched to vLLM but it doesn’t support the new Qwen 3.6 instruct on my pc. I’m a fairly code savvy and live in the terminal vim etc. which would u recommend? I want to mess with openclaw and trying to get some active agents to manage some task. I’ve gone down the rabbit hole of crewai and had some dumber models and found little value but that was along time ago. Seems like everyone dumps on ollama but my agent says it’s best for me since I’m a single user with a 5080ti. Wdyt?

To keep this short and simple, kinda. I'm triggered when people tell me I "should do this ..." and I repeatedly tell these friends that I will do and am doing what I want.

I've been heads down working on what I call "art" and they call a "product". These are the people I keep at a distance so I can flow with my thoughts. Yet no matter what I say, when I check my phone, I'll see non-stop nonsense messages and missed calls from these people I have already put at a distance. I'm triggered, and I've told them. It's a distraction from what I am doing.

Even without directly telling a friend what I was doing... and that I would be up for air in a few weeks. The first response with literally 0 understanding or knowledge of what I'm doing was "You should do .... " which I didn't read and immediately deleted. This morning, I woke to a string of messages trying to distract me, and I just swiped delete, not engaging at all, and made a custom "You should" rule on my phone to silence all people who tell me I should.

I live in a world that works for me, and it took years to get to this state. I can look at the world and myself, and it gels.

While I'm not fully versed in Taoism, I find it insightful, and it reminds me of how I see the world.