u/bipirate

Eu geralmente chamo de clitóris. Não gosto muito de pensar no cenário mais geral de vulva/vagina, então deixo meu foco nele. Também me sinto mais confortável por ser uma "palavra masculina", se é que isso faz algum sentido. Mas às vezes acho científico demais pra falar em algumas ocasiões (tipo sexo). Mas não gosto de "grelo". Dependendo do contexto também falo "meunome-inho", mas é meio bobo

I just saw a video that was supposed to be funny about how men are biologically superior than women on some things. The joke was that men have a worse sense of smell and a wider wingspan, so they would be objectively better at changing diapers.

This was sent to me by me girlfriend. I don't think she realized this would be triggering for me, because I don't have a wide wingspan and I don't think my sense of smell has ever worsened on testosterone. So this brought a "I'm not a man" sort of feeling.

I don't want to bring that up because it's 100% a "me" problem. I shouldn't be sensitive to this kind of topic because it's just the reality. It's not even that all men have this, but usually they do. Maybe a smaller cis man that has a good sense of smell also felt gender dysphoria hearing that. But people won't be putting asterisks on everything they say to include folks that deviate from the norm.

But it's hard. I usually don't feel good hearing people talk about how different men and women are, specially when it includes genitals. I just... feel like I'm neither. Most of the time I feel like an alien. And it's not sensible for me to want people to stop talking about their very normal experiences just because I feel like that. But I don't know how to get over it yet.

I had top surgery 9 days ago and today I just got so incredibly horny 🥲

It's hard to control my libido. I have a super high sex drive and all these initial days of recovery it's been just me and my girlfriend taking care of me. We've been avoiding any kind of even slightly sexual contact because we both know how I am. Sometimes she kissed me on the cheek and I got instantly hard, but as I was feeling more vulnerable and with pain this didn't scalate that much in my head.

Today I'm feeling better gladly and also spent a lot of time by myself and on Reddit. Ended up checking some NSFW content that appeared in my feed, and now I'm here just suffering. I won't masturbate but I really want to.

Also got a bit sad thinking it will be a while before I can have sex again... but it's probably going to feel much better without having my boobs in the way so I'm holding on to that

TL;DR - I'm anxious about everything post op related and open to read anything you think can help me.

So, yeah! Top surgery is scheduled for this Thursday. I'll be traveling to another city for it. I'll arrive there on Wednesday for my in person consultation (only had an online one).

I don't feel... prepared enough.

This will be my first surgery ever. I'm basically anxious about every single thing. But I think I'm more anxious about the recovery part. Way more than the fact that people will open me up and remove things from my body, which is weird to me but yeah this is something that happens sometimes in human life.

For the recovery I'm anticipating it will be really bad based on what I've seen on this sub. I'm not worried about the pain, as I think I'm very pain tolerant and will be on medications. But I'm usually not really good with minor inconveniences piled up. I dread the drains. I dread having to sleep on my back.

I'm also a very independent person and don't like asking for help. But I know I'll need help and luckily I found someone to be there for me that I'm the most comfortable with at the moment (my girlfriend). It will still be very uncomfortable though.

I've also been on a streak of going out every weekend (and some weekdays) for months now and I'll miss that so much. I've definitely not been the person to stay at home doing nothing lately.

I'm also anticipating I'll hate the scars (still not over not being eligible for peri). But I know it will be better than the boobs so I'll deal with it somehow. I have made a poor edit of how I expect my chest to look after surgery to show my surgeon and I don't hate how scars look on me. I think I'm just worried they will out me forever as a trans man. I already do therapy by the way, but still have a long way to go.

I guess this is such a big thing I'm just freaking out. Lots of money and lots of physical and mental effort. I'm very happy but I'm more anxious than anything at the moment, oh my god. This will change my life so much. Long term it's for the better, but short term it sounds like hell.

Hi! I play mandolin in a folk band, and lately I've been wanting to push the instrument in different directions. I want to be more creative with it and use it in places where it doesn't usually "belong to". So I'm looking for some inspiration to start with.

I'm already familiar with the usual genres that use the mandolin. I'm thinking general folk, country, bluegrass, choro, samba, italian trad, irish trad, folk punk and celtic punk.

Do you have any recommendations for bands or artists that use mandolin in unexpected ways? Any genre is welcome. I'm especially interested in heavier, noisier, more experimental or otherwise unconventional approaches. But I'm also open to anything that wasn't mentioned here. Thanks!

Estou indo pra Juiz de Fora semana que vem pra fazer uma cirurgia no hospital da Unimed, mas não tenho necessidade de ficar próximo dele (até porque não parece ter nada lá perto).

Eu vou passar 2 semanas na cidade na recuperação inicial da minha cirurgia e estou buscando mais por localizações confortáveis, com bastante opção de alimentação, supermercados, praças. Se tivesse como associar isso a uma área que também tenha hoteis, seria bom, porque prefiro hotel a alugar casa/apartamento, mas minha prioridade é ficar o mais confortável possível num momento em que vou estar completamente inútil e acompanhado por alguém que também não conhece a cidade.

Eu deveria olhar de ficar pelo centro da cidae mesmo? O bairro São Mateus é uma boa?

Preço não é muito uma questão. Qualquer dica já está super válida, não faço nem ideia de como é a cidade.

Obrigado!

I'm not exactly stealth. Lots of people know I'm trans. But most people don't know that because it's something I don't make a part of my personality and I just never say anything unless I find I need to.

I have made a group of friends that I've been getting pretty close to these past two years. There's only two people there that know I'm trans. One of them knows because I already knew him before meeting the rest of the group. Another one knows because one day she said I was a "cis man" and I was just like "no actually I'm not? lol". The rest of them are clueless. Or I guess they might suspect it, but only in their heads.

They are all cool reasonable people that support trans people and I never seen them disrespect or say anything transphobic ever. Quite the opposite.

But I never said anything about me. It's just not something that I thought was relevant.

However... I'll be getting top surgery next week. And they don't know about that yet. But I can't just disappear and I don't feel like lying about the surgery I'm having. But I feel like just casually saying I'm chopping my tits off because I've been a transexual man this whole time is so weird. At the same time I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. But maybe it IS a big deal? The surgery is definitely a big deal. It's a life changing decision I have made and I do want them to know that.

I have small boobs but I wasn't elligible for peri/keyhole. I did three different consultations and all of them said I had to do DI. I really believed for a while I would be able to get it, so it was very disappointed to hear.

My surgery is next week. I thought I was over the "but I don't want the scar" feeling, but now that I'm more frequent on r/TopSurgery I just get soooo jealous of the peri/keyhole results. They look so incredible and cis.

I know I have no choice. It's either this, or have the boobs. But I also know I still won't be 100% comfortable with my results just because of the big ass scars. Even if my results look amazing it will still mark me as visibly trans forever.

I've always been bi but I always hooked up and had relationships mostly with men. Now I have suddenly become attractive to some women after 5 years of transitioning. And this completely destabilized me???? I don't feel enough for women because I don't have a penis. I'm even insecure about my own bottom growth because It's just average or below that. So I don't feel different enough from cis women. I have started a relationship with a cis woman and she says she likes what I have but I still feel insecure. I sometimes think she isn't really that much sexual attracted to me as she would be to a cis man (or even a cis woman, she's bi). I think she just likes me. And that's good. But I also want to feel sexy and desirable. And I'm currently still unable to feel that.

I don't have a problem with being submissive while having sex, but I just wanted it to be a choice.

In my case, it's not a choice. It's how I was trained to be because I was assigned female at birth and lived like that for 22 years. Because I'm short, weak and "cute", I feel like my whole personality has been built around being submissive and people pleasing, so that of course leaks into sex.

Fact is that I don't need to be tall and strong to be dominant. I know dominant cis women who are short and cute, and they dominate cis men bigger and stronger than them.

I've also been feeling much better in my own skin and working on confidence, setting boundaries and speaking up for myself. So I'm thinking I'm at a point where I can start trying to be more dominant, assertive and even a bit aggressive (not exactly in the BDSM sense) in bed. Not because I feel this is what men should do, but because I want to do it and would probably feel amazing doing it.

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this experience as a trans man, so I wanted to hear from you guys.

Are you dominant in bed? Did you have to work hard to get to this point, or was it more natural to you? Do you feel like your transition changed something in how you approach this? Anything that comes to mind. I'll also appreciate any sort of tips regarding this :) Thanks!