u/bishopmouse

Did anyone get an email telling them to check the website for the longlist, or was that reserved for winners? Also when submitting the essay did anyone get a confirmation response

Mild rant, more just expressing myself

I am seventeen, and recently turned vegan after being vegetarian my entire life. Luckily, it was a very smooth transition, since I come from a largely vegetarian/vegan family, I'm lactose intolerant (so wasn't drinking all that much milk anyway), and I'm happy to sacrifice cheese and eggs for the greater good of the earth. My main issue is how choice to go vegan has kind of soured some of my perceptions, especially towards others.

I have to bite my tongue sometimes when discussing veganism, and stick to advice that people merely eat less meat than none at all. However, it's hard to do this when people are complaining about the heatwave (I'm British, it's been a nightmare lately) whilst consuming animal products. Or accusing vegans of ignoring a necessity to consume meat, due to financial circumstances, ethnicity, religion etc...

Before, I could stomach how absurdly hypocritical it all is, to sustain the industry and be frustrated by its consequences. Now, I have a dilemma where I desperately want to change people's minds (probably in vain) yet my fear of conflict is restricting me.

I see quite a few of my friends and family in a different light now, whom I previously considered insightful and compassionate, yet consciously endorse the suffering of animals - then criticising me for not doing so.

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Honestly annoys me more than humans making the same noises (which still sends me over the edge) because I know I can't communicate with the animal to stop completely. My dog is old and gets dry mouth, so she is constantly smacking her lips and licking them, gulping water and eating loudly. And when I say nonstop, I mean it never ends.

Also, people on the internet holding microphones to their pets' mouths when they're eating or licking, and saying it's preferable to humans. Sorry, but I still want to shove pencils in my ears.

So I did philosophy q1 about whether it's wrong to do the right thing for the wrong reasons, and the interview was going fine (comparatively to other people's experiences) but then it asked me about a personal example of when I had to weigh up intent and consequence. I explained the example I gave in my essay, but it insisted that I give an experience from my own life. I ended up just blabbing about lying etc. and tried to link it in with my thesis. I don't think the AI is actually referring to our essays at all, but I don't even know whether this is just a check that we didn't use AI or like some scheme where it gives us a grade or whatever.

Also if anyone who's actually human sees the recording then they'll be met with me rolling my eyes a lot. This is potentially the worst decision ever made by an large essay competition.

My friends are kind of ignorant towards how bad my misophonia is, as in they'll chew with their mouth wide open and tap their nails on surfaces (two of my worst sounds) even though I've repeatedly told them that it makes me feel indescribably upset and disregulated. They know I'm autistic and I've tried to explain what misophonia actually entails, and they'll nod along and say they'll do better, but within the next ten minutes they'll have forgotten these promises.

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Anyway, my worst trigger is by far people who are not babies talking in a baby voice. Not to a baby, just in general conversation. My friendship group talk like this almost nonstop, and once somebody does it, they're all set off. They'll say my name in this voice and do childish facial expressions to go with it. It both sounds and looks embarrassing when we're in public whilst sending me over the edge in sensory overload. I already have to work very hard to cope in a school environment, and often this will be the straw that breaks the camel's back when I'm already overwhelmed. I've had to miss exams because of it, and they know this, but since my grades are still very good then I guess they don't think it's too much of a problem.

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Also, it's become so much of an issue that I'm regressing to old coping mechanisms, like banging my head against a wall to get the memories of them doing it out of my head so I can sleep, and scratching my arms and neck until they bleed. If I tell them this, they will be very uncomfortable and inwardly think that I'm either dramatic or trauma dumping. I've run away out of the school gates, cried in front of them, started hitting myself, and nothing changes.

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I really can't distance myself from them, as they've been my friends for so long, but it's only this year that these voices have started. I've told adults, but nothing can be done and I don't blame them for not having a solution. I know it's a me problem but I just don't think I can bear it any longer.

Apologies for posting such a specific question here, but I can't find another subreddit to ask.

For my independent literature coursework, I have chosen to write on the book The Good Soldier Švejk and its relation to anti-war themes. However, I'm unable to find any solid information on whether Hašek held an anti-war view, or just an anti-Czech government stance, since he voluntarily joined the Red Army following the First World War. Obviously the book is very heavy in its criticism and satirizing of the war, however I am unsure whether this is a commentary on war in general, or simply the political decisions of the Czech authority during this period. I feel it is necessary to have a conclusive answer on this since my argument would derive from whether or not he did oppose war as a broader concept (if not, I would alter my thesis to concern anti-authority ideas within the story).

I've found conflicting evidence from both sides, but if anyone could offer a resolution I would be very grateful!

this isn't going to be shakespeare level literature so sorry in advance

for context ive been through and out of the anorexia warzone wherein i did nearly die. and like not even fear tactic """was on the track to die""""", genuinely heart failing, could barely walk up stairs, stickman dying. im now generally recovered i.e. im not afraid of the calories in my fingernails anymore (i was deep in the trenches).

my recovery was actually self instigated and self led until the point where health services had to step in because they didn't think i could manage myself. since im underage i get why and luckily i was never forced into inpatient. obviously due to the whole beating it myself attitude i tried to remove the triggers.

during this starvation period (\~8 months) i was an ed tiktok/twitter/reddit (looking at you r/edanonymous) MENACE. i used to hide in the bathrooms at school scrolling through slavic doll ricecake meals amongst other restriction propoganda accounts. obviously to avoid such risks of possible relapse i distanced myself from these post-august last year.

ive returned to instagram and whatever since then, and inevitably the recovery accounts have found me. most of them are unbearable like the whole "what i GOT to eat today eating intuitively in recovery!!". mainly because i had to endure the goose stuffing to prevent death, but i understand that's not a universal experinence so ill let them slide for the most part. worse are the evidently still disordered ones where all the comments are hyping up their two slices of rye bread and cottage cheese from 7am to 6pm (i like rye bread but on principle).

but, finally, the devils of the recovery hellscape are the ones who post their before and after comparisons. the after is a still slim girl in gym wear with muddy tan and bad lip liner. the before is a literal skeleton bodychecking in underwear (? girl come on there are some perverts out there), or crying on their bed as they struggle to eat a piece of toast with their mum rubbing their arm and all this is cut and edited. don't forget the captions bring typed letter by letter with the clacky keyboard sound:

💫🤍just letting you know that it's okay to have that sweet treat🤍💫 and then there's a spine with french plaits

i understand the sentiment of see how far ive come, so can you. but most anorexics don't choose that route themselves, and you can't convince them to. because when you're sick, you don't see the lanugo, the flat plank ass, the concave temples, the dry skin, the constipation, the losing friends, the guilt, the memory issues, the numbness and so much fucking more that you don't even realise until six months later. you don't feel the osteopenia, the low blood pressure, the vitamin deficiencies. you see a beautiful skinny girl who has that thigh gap you don't.

honestly, the one reason i know ill probably never relapse is because i remember the pain and trauma it put me through, as well as the horrors of outpatient treatment, but im not most. the vast majority of people seeing and admiring your bones are those who are teetering on the edge of full blown anorexia.

i don't know whether these girls know what harm they're doing but i do know the extent of it.