u/bittab777

A guy goes to his doctor for a check-up. The doctor says, “I’ve got good news and bad news.” Give me the bad news first,” the guy says.
You have a rare condition where your body is producing way too much testosterone. Your body’s totally out of balance.
So what’s the good news?
“Well,” the doctor says, “for the next six months, you’re going to have the most incredible libido of your life. Stamina like you wouldn’t believe. Multiple times a day, no problem.”
The guy grins. “Doc, that’s amazing! So what’s the actual bad news?”

The doctor sighs. “I’m your new son-in-law.”

Here’s a classic long-form ladder joke with a playful payoff:
A man walks into a hardware store and says to the employee, “I’d like to buy a ladder.”
The employee asks, “How tall do you need it?”
The man thinks for a moment and says, “Well… I’d like one that’s tall enough to clean my gutters, change light bulbs, trim my trees, paint the house, and maybe even get on the roof.”
The employee nods and replies, “Sounds like you need our 24-foot extension ladder.”
The man frowns. “That’s a bit expensive. Do you have anything cheaper?”
“Sure,” the employee says. “We have a 16-foot ladder.”
“Will that reach my roof?”
“No.”
“My gutters?”
“Only if you jump.”
The man sighs. “What about an 8-foot ladder?”
The employee laughs. “Sir, what exactly are you trying to accomplish?”
The man leans in and whispers, “To be honest… my wife told me to ‘take the relationship to the next level.’ I figured a ladder was the cheapest way to start.”
The employee smiles and says, “In that case, skip the ladder.”
“Why?”
“Because if she’s speaking in metaphors and you’re shopping in hardware… you’re going to need counseling, not climbing equipment.”

A couple in their 60s are getting ready for bed.The wife says, “Remember when you used to hold my hand?”
The husband reaches over and holds her hand.She says, “Remember when you used to kiss me?”
He gives her a gentle kiss.She says, “Remember when you used to nibble my ear?”
The husband gets out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she asks.
He replies, “To get my teeth!”

My girlfriend said she wanted something that would make her scream in bed.
So I handed her the electric bill.

\*\*Knock, knock.\*\*

\*\*Who’s there?\*\*

\*\*IRS.\*\*

\*\*IRS who?\*\*

\*\*The IRS. We have great news—we’re refunding all the taxes you’ve ever paid!\*\*

\*\*Fantastic! How much do I get?\*\*

\*\*Nothing. According to our records, you’ve never paid any taxes.\*\*

**Knock, knock.**

**Who’s there?**

**IRS.**

**IRS who?**

**The IRS. We have great news—we’re refunding all the taxes you’ve ever paid!**

**Fantastic! How much do I get?**

**Nothing. According to our records, you’ve never paid any taxes.**