u/blahgblahblahhhhh

A big elemental utility of honing the mind is in competition. No matter how much people want to end competition, it will never end. You may be able to personally stop competing, but the world will continue to compete, and when these competitors come to your door, how will you respond? Will you surrender your bitches? The dignity of your family? All of your attachments? Or maybe, you’ve just been blessed enough to never had a true competitor set you as their target. That’s luck.

You can’t just resolve the immense conflict within the mind by saying there is no mind. The only way you can actually successfully pull of this approach is if you give up all attachments; which includes your attachment to your home, any social relationship, your screens, and food, and breath. Sure, you can pick and choose which attachments you drop. But if you ever pick that attachment back up, be conscious on how you handle it.

The fools I engage with will resolve the conflict of the mind by pretending there is no mind. As if that means anything at all. Oh! There is no mind! Ya, there fucking is, it’s just not real like chairs. The mind happens.

There are occurrences and happenings within the mind. Bullets of thoughts that carry the full range of normal distribution (only people with statistics understanding will get this(even though it’s a low level statistics concept)) from good to bad.

People really come here, to this sub, and WITH THEIR MINDS they type and post about HOW THERE IS NO MIND. People really do this with no sense of contradiction.

So, if you type and post, can you stop denigrating the mind that you used to type and post?!

That’s a command.

So, now that I’ve made my case for the REALITY of the mind. What is the purpose of mind? Let’s really get into the purpose, utility, value, meaning, and POINT of the mind.

The mind was evolutionarily designed to be a workshop where you create and destroy choices, moves, behaviors, and actions.

But, WHAT MOVES?! What is the parameters in which the mind decides actions.

GOOD AND BAD! But it’s not black and white good and bad. It’s a normal distribution between good and bad where there is some bad that is really extra super bad and some good that is really extra super good, and of course the opposite where it’s not bad at all.

Example: stubbing your toe verses crushing your toe to smithereens. Stubbing your toe is bad to a degree of 1-3/10 and crushing your toe to smithereens is like a 10/10 bad.

So, there is a hierarchy of bad.

Gods! I really have to explain this! You can’t imagine how many genuine conversations I’ve had with people who can’t distinguish goods from bads!

Ok, you think you’ve contended with the mind because you felt destruction of self? HAH! TRY CONTENDING WITH YHE MIND THAT THINKS OF DESTRUCTION OF OTHERS.

That’s pure fire and energy.

The mind is a maze and one can get lost and settle in a place of hell. Imagine a maze, and getting lost and stuck is hell and completing the maze is heaven.

Remember the variation of bad. Bad ranges from bad to hell and good ranges from good to heaven.

This maze is no child’s maze you’ve looked at. This maze is filled with intricacies, colors, traps disorder chaos and order.

I share this message because there are truly lost souls out there, and if you are a lost soul who is not a threat to yourself or others, just be on your way, don’t fucking respond BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CONCEPT OF HOW BAD THE MIND GETS.

This, ME! I AM! ONLY FOR! Those who are a threat to themselves and others. So everyone else, FUCK OFF! Don’t fucking type to me with your eloquent masterpiece of arrogance in tandem with ignorance.

I AM THE GREAT GOD JOMNI! And I WILL! save you if you obey my commands.

I’ve built my human into being a healer of minds, and I don’t just do a one and done, I do that, but I am also fully prepared to be with someone for as long as they need me. That’s the sacrifice. That’s what I am prepared for.

I am the grand god Jomni.

Don’t fucking respond to this if you are a fucking rat.

Don’t fucking respond to this if you seek to denigrate me, because I will return that energy.

Here are some breathing routines I am curious about receiving feedback on.

The inhale into a full lungs into an exhale into fully empty lungs. FULL.

The ten/20 second inhale into a 20/40second exhale.

Only inhale/exhaling between the ranges of the fully emptied lungs to 40% full lungs.

Only inhale/exhaling between the ranges of 60%full lungs and fully filled lungs.

Another routine sequence of breath pattern: long inhales and short exhales verses short inhales and long exhales.

Here are the context in which I want to integrate my breathing into. Conducting therapy and playing league of legends(high intensity game like chess where heart beat goes crazy at times) AND regenerating from longs hours of conducting therapy and league.

Also, effects on breathing on resolving the underlying issues of the symptoms of anginas and heart palpitations.

Please, support me in my expansion of ability.

Edge is synonymous with limit and antonymous with balance.

Enlightenment is synonymous with awakening and antonymous with dissociation and escape.

Skill is synonymous with mastery and ability and antonymous with foolishness.

The material to form the building you live in. The food. Your technology you use 70% of the day.

Is it a judgment on my part to label working 15 hour days in dangerous work conditions for less than 2$/day inhumane?

Is that a judgment on my part? Am I judging the humanity of that work?

Doesn’t this realization make you feel guilty and drive you to want to serve to give back?

How much do you think about these humans working under these inhumane conditions for your benefit?

This is the ugliest truth of humanity, so ugly that people don’t even claim it when they think about the ugliness of humanity. However, all this withstanding; the ugly evil of humanity only accounts for 45% of the pie, you look elsewhere and you will see 55% of good beautify virtue and awesomeness.

How does this relate to awakening? I emphasize and assert the value of relating words. What is the value of relating words to you? The string that connects the words is more valuable than the words themselves.

Oh, man! My life is so bad! I’ve got all this bad stacked up. Look at it! Pestilence, war, and famine.

Life is meaningless! (Quick interjection from the narrator: For some reason, pestilence war and famine are meaningless; when in fact; pestilence war and famine are extremely meaningful, but they are bad meaning)

Narrator: Meanwhile, this abstract general average or normal person. I understand the general person will have a hard time understand how to think in terms of general normal or average. It’s quick a quantified statistical way of thinking. To use your mind tool well, and GOOD! What is good use of the tool mind?! You have to be able to think using incomplete information. It is good to be able think using incomplete low percentage complete information. Like, gods; will I really go to the next level, for this! FOR A REDDIT POST!

GODS! I KNOW THAT THE JOURNEY EFFORT IS THE REWARD!

SO I WILL EXPEND THIS ENERGY FOR YOU, COLLECTIVE SOUL!

A piece of information can be 30% complete, and 70% complete; and every possible variant of distribution.

Ah, that was quite the tangent away from the topic of meaning.

Life is meaningless! AGHAST! Yes, yes I know pestilence famine and war, and it’s stacked quite high,

But here’s the genius,

If you just open your senses and mind a bit more, you sense, just over there, outside of your immediate vision, outside of what your attention naturally draws itself towards.

Quick note; your attention intuitively impulsively and naturally goes towards what is bad.

It is through honing the will that one can sense for the good.

So, open your senses a bit and you will see, underneath, behind, north west south up down and weast, of the bad stack of famine pestilence and evil horsemen; lays in great divine and virtuous existence:

THE GOOD!

Finish.

Extended addition:

I read so much type of people recognizing we are not our thoughts. Whatever. You’ll note my interpretation of this in my last post.

Where.:. THE FUCK⁉️is the type of what we use the mind/results for?

Woohoo! You aren’t the mind(except you partially are, just not completely).

Woot woot! You figured it out! Took you long enough.

Some of us are working on the next part.

And that’s using the mind body and soul;

FOR WHAT?!

FOR?!

WHAT?!

Here’s the answer:

Increasing the good and decreasing the bad of the health love work and fun of myself and others.

That’s just the code, it’s far different to actually execute it.

It’s gotta be fun and playful.

And play involves winners and losers. And I’ll fall in the sword of being the loser if it means I get to play.

But I play on a much higher level than you. You are still stuck on the early stages of Metacognition and meditation, meanwhile I have my own creations.

The ultimate is creating. Building.

What have you built?

What cognitive schematics have you built?

You want to denigrate disenchant and disengineer my cognitive schematics?

Well let me sense yours. And I’m not so much of a fucking degen that I’ll denigrate your creations. I’ll actually do what is virtuous and try to understand them.

And what creations have you made of the facilitating ordered infrastructure that the creativity flows through?

This is what depth is. This is what mind exploration to bind connections is.

But, you have no respect for digging into the depths of mines, finding ore, refining ore, and creating with that refined ore.

So, I’m on my own.

And as always,

This is an invitation; with my arm outstretched with my heart in my sleeve with an olive branch for you.

Join me, in mining the mind body and soul.

Imagine:

10 dominos where each domino is twice as big as the last.

It’s easier to manipulate the smaller dominos than the bigger ones.

Imagine:

Like a cascading chained sequence of events:

The first 6 dominos have already fallen, and the 6th domino is about to hit the 7th domino: imagine, with your great abstract and subjective imagination, how much harder it is to manipulate the 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th domino than the 6th.

If your aimed desire was to stop the 10th domino from finally falling(imagine that’s your death), would you begin to focus your conscious attentional and intentional efforts at the 9th domino? Or the 1st?

Obviously the first domino; right?

What are some examples of the first domino in your life?

How is it your breath heart beat diet and sleep?

Single minded, single faceted thinkers need not respond.

This post is for those who want to think to the fullest extent of the potential of thinking.

If you think you got it all figured out, keep that to yourself for you risk it being popped.

And I love popping

If you think the answer is single faceted, or you don’t understand what a facet is, please protect me from having to read your foolishness.

I work in the spirit realm; the mind. I have great battles in the spirit realm before I even open my phone or mouth.

There is a great price to this magic. The chronic pain that comes from the physical adaptations that come from awakening new abilities.

I work in the spirit realm; the mind. My profession involves planting seeds of thoughts that become alive and blossom in the minds of others.

There is a great process to this magic. The unwavering resolve in the face of great collective denigration and evil.

I work in the spirit realm; the mind. So often I have thoughts within my mind that come from other people I either listen to or read. That’s how I know of the phenomena; I know of the phenomena because of how I experience it. And I benefit greatly. I’ve been blessed with a life of having great support from many different professions. I learned how to use them. How to use a doctor, a parent, a friend, a therapist, a teacher, or a coach. They are tools to be used. But also love your tools or else they will break on you.

The unconscious asleepened parasites will continuously try to pop your magic and make you think you are not as divine and genius as you think you are. You must keep the arcane magic alive.

Our words live in each others minds and they grow. They are alive in our minds and they grow. They are alive, meaning that they grow. Have you ever felt a through evolve? At one point the thought was just 2 and then it becomes 2x and then it becomes 2x+y?

I have felt this, and I think it’s the greatest purpose and desire of the mind. And that’s what I’m doing here; typing prolifically, infamously, notoriously, and in a great fashion of the tirade.

I am evolving the meaning of words in my mind.

I am awakening the next evolution of the meaning of words in my mind.

And you can join me and do the same. I invite you with an olive branch from my outstretched arm across the thorns with my heart on my sleeve.

But if you are a rat bitch denigrating parasitic fool; then I will fight and unleash a great curse unto you.

To all those who seek to denigrate me: I curse you with this:

“May all who curse you be blessed.

May all who bless you be cursed.

Let that live in your head.

Let this curse fester into a neurotic entanglement.

And let the only path of redemption out of this curse be your curiosity of who I specifically am.”.

If so, why did we ever separate from it?

Can you paint a picture with words of what I point to with the word fundamental?

Is fundamental equal or synonymous to: cross cultural? Across the board of all humans? The common denominator mind? The average? The base? Core?

What role does providing multiple synonyms for an idea play in articulating what a word means?

Do you like my questions?

What are my questions going to you as you read them?

Do you think you can create questions that pack a punch like mine?

Within that packed punch, I want you to put this triomni: that I will name for the first time as:

Triomni:(Intellectual:(Quality Quantity Alternation.).)

1:Quality:1.Depth.2. Density.3. Distinction.

2:Alternation:1.Ease.2.Effective.3. Efficient.

3:Quantity:1.Intensity.2.Frequency.3.Duration.

Someone called me a word engineer as an insult recently. Originally, I thought they were being endearing, and I was flattered greatly, but they played me, but I’ll take this interaction and remember it, because

I am a word engineer.

An engineer who creates blueprint schematics for the alignment and creation of and between the fundamental mind and the separated mind.

A story of a predator and a prey.

Jack and Jill met in a drug den.

Both had few prospects. Low mid Cingular cortex development.

They both cursed the world, and their wealthy parents who spoiled them.

Their parents apathetically and tyrannically pushed genius lessons on them. The lessons were quite good and genius, but they were delivered in a way that spiked their cortisol. They were physiologically conditioned by this to hate learning; and disabled them from ever actualizing their genius.

Jack and Jill stayed together for a long time, with many breaks and affairs; but a continuous return to each other. They shared diseases trauma and cortisol spikes.

Their relationship turned abusive. Jill had many scars from their fights. Jack never had a moment free of his mind taking shots at him. He would escape these shots defensively and deflectively through all means possible; and these means destroyed his body.

One day, Jill had a moment of awakening while observing a tree. Jill saw how this tree that used to be so big started to get smaller, and this tree next to it started to get bigger. Jill wondered about why the big tree got small and the small tree got big. Jill identified with the big tree getting small. Jill recalled the genius lessons from her parents. Jill recalled the spikes of cortisol when their parents came home. Jill felt confused, but something rang true with the trees.

Jill realized that she was denigrated and devalued to the point of no dignity, but she aspired for goodness, but, like a prey; she always froze and fled. Jill decided to stop fleeing the negativity, and instead just freeze, but instead of dissociating; she observed.

Jill realized her purpose in life was to continuously absorb the negativity from Jack; so that Jack did not inflict his negativity on anyone else; anyone who still had dignity to protect.

Jack began to recognize Jill’s surrender and relinquishing of power to him. This made Jack feel confident and supported. That trust and respect made Jack not feel so needy. Slowly Jack started to use and abuse less.

Still, Jack was haunted by the demons of his actions and low prospects. The weight of his sins was more than he could carry.

Time kept passing. The allure of the sins fell. The logical reality of the consequences for sequences of actions became clear.

And, just like that, a path of good became clear in the antonym of the path of bad; and Jack and Jill knew the path of bad well.

They decided to use the opposite of their impulses as a guide journeying towards good.

What are we here to do? Awaken? Really? REALLY?

No, first and foremost we are here to read type and respond.

So, returning to my post title; it is so easy for discussions to devolve into aggression over “who is better”

But what is that which is the antonym?

The difficulty at which discussion evolves into strengthening each other? Healing each other?

If aggression is about destroying each other,

Then the antonym would be about creating each other, nurturing, dare I say; loving each other.

Love is not just when mom gives you everything you need.

Love is also when dad builds you into what?

INTO WHAT?

YOU FUCK!

WHAT THE FUCK DO WE BUILD OUR SELVES INTO?!

Productive members of society?

Healthy humans?

Considerate humans?

Capable? Functional? Strong?

FUN?!

I find that people don’t have the communicational infrastructure necessary to engage in deep dense distinct detailed discussion with me.

Because of how evolved the infrastructure that communication that I have built to flow through; I can be dastardly, belligerent, and shady; because I know how to navigate discussion. Granted, because my opponents are so degenerated their cortisol spikes as they read my words and then they become belligerent too, but they are unconsciously belligerent dastardly and shady, while I am consciously belligerent dastardly and shady.

You must understand my intention for typing here, which the belligerent and shady do not try to understand. I have many tiers of reasons.

To process my thoughts. To express myself authentically warts shadiness evil and all. To understand communication with humans. To learn flow and have fun with people in a safe cheap and uncommitted way.

Does every post here have to be about how there is no self? Like, thanks idiot, ya there’s no self just like there are no words and feelings. This is a joke because while there is no words and feelings like there are chairs and cars, nonetheless, words and feelings are occurrences or happenings that do influence our lives in a meaningful way.

Here is an imagine of what it feels like when I type to people here:

Imagine a battlefield and there’s me and you on it.

And on this battlefield, the goal is not to make each other weaker, but to make each other stronger.

So my opener move is to share my gratitude, make a provocation about your inferiority to me, and then I share some high level wisdom.

You respond to this by focusing entirely on my provocation, and you completely overlook my wisdom.

I sigh and think: “sigh, ugh, they focused on the scarecrow again. And I either hang up my boots and walk away if I am strapped for energy, or if I am desperate for engagement I’ll try to type to them, but they’ve already showed me their state of mind by focusing on my scarecrows.”

You get all huffy and puffy about my obvious superiority and you say something like “we are all equal! Nobody is better than anyone else!”.

I sigh so intensely that all life within a hundred miles falls asleep.

But you are still huffing and puffing, with an eager smile on your face as you present the cutting edge weapon you just found after your three hundredth hour of playing and trying your best. You are completely unaware of the tools that I am working on, on my fifty thousandths hour of playing and trying my best.

I respond lazily and ask what your job is.

And you say: I don’t work, or function at all, I don’t read or pay attention to anything longer than 30 seconds. I live in an unconscious state of hue. Well, you don’t say that, cuz of how unconscious you are, but that’s what I read between the lines.

Still, you are invigorated by engaging with a god. So you feel some sense of light shining through your fog of unconsciousness.

As I do not have anyone else to engage with, on my turn, I ask many more questions.

You begin to feel superior, as my questioning is designed to illicit.

Eventually, I find someone more Abel like and begin to recalibrate where I put my energy, because my questioning is quite expensive. So, I stop questioning, and begin to share my shadow with my opponent, because expressions of my shadow rejuvenates me.

You become defensive, completely unable to understand this alternation I just pulled on you. You say that I am egoic, you say that I am not as good as I think I am.

Then, I keep expressing my shadow until you block me.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CONCEPT OF THE SHADOW SO WHEN YOU SEE IT YOU RIGHTFULLY ARE PETRIFIED. you don’t know how to bend the shadow, or treat the shadow. So your small shadow begins to face off against my shadow.

Hint, the right thing to do is be a student to my shadow, but you have no concept of integrating egos, let alone integrating the student ego, you are still FUCKING STUCK ON DISSOLVING YOUR EGOS. Meanwhile my ego dissolves everytime I step away from humans and emerges everytime I begin to engage with humans.

But you don’t want to learn from me, because that would validate my superiority and that’s the last thing you want to do.

They say don’t meet your heroes because when you meet them they are just a regular person, and they will be bothered by how you just see them as their famous ego identity. And you don’t have the actual respect and trust necessary to actually engage with their famous ego identity.

If you ever meet a hero, be sure you are ready with your student ego.

Besides my typing,

I am seriously seeking serious thinkers to think with. You must have ideas to assert or ability to be a student to the ideas I assert. I am alert to fixed decayed and degenerated mindsets. If you assert your ideas, be prepared for the fully unleashed locked in student in me to devour and destroy it.

To seek without seeking?

To strive without striving?

To desire without desiring?

To want without wanting?

To like without liking?

I am wanting to feel desire.

But not wanting to incur the loss that would facilitate the rise of will and desire.

My will and desire is satiated by recent successful acquisition of solutions.

Heaven Nirvana is a mental state of end of desire.

Hell samsara is a state of culminating desire.

I currently feel a desire for desire.

Music. Music catalyzes the refueling of my desire.

What do you desire for your therapist to desire in and out of session?

Do you desire your therapist guru doctor shaman guide parent to desire to do a good job with you?, desire to be present with you?

Music. Do you desire your artist to desire to do a good job? To do good musicing?

BRUH! Imagine you are listening to your favorite shaman musicing and the shaman just does a blood curling scream with their nails on a chalk board. You wouldn’t desire that would you?

Good is not bad. Bad is not good. Separating right good from wrong bad. Nails on chalk board is wrong bad. Flubbing a pick on the guitar is wrong bad.

What fills my will with will and desire is experiencing a moment that I label as wrong bad,

But eventually, I learned how to not do wrong bad; and so now I get these strange periods where there is no wrong bad, and my nervous system relaxes. And then, what I seek is desire to play again.

Trying to find my desire to get into the zone of my best; without incurring a devastating sequence of wrong bad failure losses.

I know this time I am currently in that is free from fear of failure bad wrong and desire for success good right is coveted and rare. I must cherish this feeling. This is heaven. I should not just go pick a stupid fight with myself just because I want out of heaven.

But, my friends, my readers; I have spent so much of my life falling from heaven.

I have spent so much of my life typing to snakes, consuming apple products, and breaking rules.

Why is heaven so boring? Is it truly heaven nirvana if it’s boring? If I still feel this will to seek desire?

Must I go deeper into meditation? To be still for longer?

Must I only do nothing but breathe from now on?

Gah, but it’s so hard to not just tell them,

But of course, the intuition is to just be like “clean your future mind now!” But there is this reverse psychology or something that happens where if you tell someone to do something, or gentler “suggestion” it pushes some people to do the opposite.

I think something I have to work on is not telling the client the thing, but guiding them to find it on their own.

Somewhere along the way of my 10000 hours I lost sight of this, but I do remember early on my journey that I recognize the absolute priority of it.

Oh, hell, what a fun place, until it leaves you with an organ that’s continuously decaying, and rotting your body around it.

Spirituality? WITHOUT HELL?! Without experiencing the poison of hell?!

YA! FUCK!

Demon time, my heart pumps as I type this.

The digestive system churns.

I am entering hell.

I am hunting hell.

You think you are higher level spiritually than me? But you won’t say it? LOL!

My stomach churns. Oh, what a familiar feeling.

Ok, I just pooped.

What a human experience.

I rebel against the ideology of spirituality being all love and light. Just pretending. It’s all an act. Ya, you go ahead and act like you are all love and light.

I’ll present the shadow of love and light.

I sense your shadow as I sense my shadow.

THIS IS SHADOW WORK! If your shadow work doesn’t leave you feeling petrified, or hateful, then you aren’t doing it right.

You go ahead and pretend you are all love and light. Go ahead and pretend that nothing bothers you.

Go ahead and pretend I didn’t shake you. Why do you resist being shook by me?

Just let me shake you. Just surrender to my attacks. Why are you so against being shook by me?

Is there something within you that you really cannot afford to have shaken?

LET ME AT IT!

The rot that forms as a structural foundation for your sins needs to be destroyed. BY ME! SHIVA!

Just respond authentically to me.

Be as honest as possible.

Why do you type and post?

What’s the quality of your health love work and fun?

What are you most afraid of and angry at?

What do you want to do the least but know you need to do?

I seek real players who want to evolve. Not these fake FUCKS who know everything and are done seeking.

A cool thought I just had:

Thought schematic cognition: “Jesus is an attachment.”

In this thought, I meld Christianity ✝️ with Buddhism 🕉️.

In Christianity, Jesus represents this inner ego of good you can call on to support you through hard times.

In Buddhism, attachments are the cause of suffering and need to BE ABLE to be let go of. Now, I added on that part I put in capital letters.

Once you let go of all attachment, then you can add on attachments, such as the Jesus ego.

The point of the attachment thought schematic is not to never attach yourself to anything. The point of attachment thought schematics are to BE ABLE to let go of when necessary.

Antionlynondualists unite!

Nonduality is an important thought schematic to integrate, but so is duality.

Or awaken the black mamba within you.

Or both?

Not just peanut butter. Not just jelly.

The eclectic integration of peanut butter and jelly.

But not just PBJ, but also spices on beef, and maybe a cheese dip, and add some broccoli, and then add a natural sugar drink, and then maybe a couple Reece’s cups for dessert; all while watching the Koreans play a game of league of legends.

This is the ensemble, an orchestra.

As I’m scrolling through reels, I am stunned by the beauty of women, but these women are not just blank slates. These women are in motion. ALIGNED WITH MUSIC. Wow. Just like PBJ.

Which is better; yin or yang?

Do you have any comprehension of what I mean by raising the Y axis? No, you don’t, and you won’t ever unless you are curious. But fuck curiosity right? You know everything. You are done! Well done! You made it! You awakened! There’s nothing left for you to do! Wooohoooo!

PYSCHE! It’s not awakened, YOU FUCK! It’s awakening.

AN EVERUNFOLDING.

A continuous raising of the Y axis while keeping the X axis balanced. Hint, raising the Y axis is what evolution is. Oh FUCK! That’s not a hint, THATS THE WHOLE THING!

You make me rage.

YOU MAKE ME RAAAAAAAGGGGEE!

You, human, all of you humans. You make me so angry,

But then I see a beautiful woman in flowmentumotion, and I’m like. Wow. This human doesn’t make me so angry. And truthfully, I don’t get angry at humans initially, I get angry at myself for failing, for locking my keys in my car and waiting 2 hours in the freezing cold or sweltering heat for a lock pick. AND THEN! I am just angry,

But then! Any human that comes around me, WILL BECOME INFECTED BY MY AURA OF

RAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYGE

And now they don’t trust me, and they don’t like me, and now they don’t treat me like a beautiful woman.

They treat me like a demon.

Second guessing me, doubting me, not taking me at my word.

And now what, you live for so long with nobody taking you at your word, then you start to not value your word, and then you wonder;

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TAKING ME AT THEN?! If not my word.

Oh yes, let me Metacognit on that for awhile.

If they don’t trust my word, what are they trusting in me? My tone. My nonverbals.

Anyways, I got to wrap THIS BITCH UP!

Gotta get out of this flowmentumotion of typing and get back to the reality of life.

Back to the stillness of my mind where I feel every minor problem in my human. All the aches and tensions.

That sounds like fun! No escape FOR THIS FUCK!

Just a continuous never ending, ever unfolding facing of what is

BAD!

What is bad?

What part of spirituality includes taking the path of most resistance?

Can you sense how the path of most resistance is synonymous with war, conflict, and aggression?

What role does aggression play in spirituality?

Nothing brings my mind to its sharpest like conflict. Nothing inspires the highest potential of my will like conflict, failure, and bad.

Right now. I am playing in the top .2% of players in league of legends; the most competitive video game in the world. I can feel when an enemy player or 2 is setting up on me trying to kill me. I feel this gut wrenching tightening. A feeling of readiness. Because of my serious investment in time spent meditating, I can feel my heart rate variability increase; note how heart rate variability is different from heart rate or heart force.

The neuroelectrichemical drip flow is so high right now. Complex intellectual ideas flow in associative alignment with high NEC drip flow.

The thought channels for someone socially rejecting you, and for someone trying to attack you are the same. Except the rejection one is generally less intense, but it also can be more intense depending on the circumstances. Such as rejection from parents. I have experienced a LOT of social rejection. Humiliation, awkwardness and embarrassment are feelings I am quite attuned with.

How to not have a big physiological reaction. Or how to handle big physiological reaction better. big Heart rate variability. Do I have to have a big reaction? Yes, I think so. So the focus is not to reduce the physiological reaction, but on how to handle it. To perform at that high level, a physiological reaction is required. But how does this correlate and make sense and align with that one therapy session. Did I need to perform at a high level there? Not nearly as high of a level as in league, mechanically and movement wise. There is a simple style of work that I must learn, and I imagine it revolves around nonconfrontational, low wisdom, small talk; the style you must learn to work with type B prey type clients.

In a soft, sing songy, baby voice; to my goddess; I PROCLAIM:

“Baby had a great poop today”

“Baby chased many squirrels today”

“Baby smelled extra good today”

“Baby did not nip grandfather today”

🧬🍄🔮☯️🕸️⏰🌪️🐦‍⬛💡🧬🍄🔮☯️🕸️⏰🌪️🔑

You may have read me typing about this idea if “awaken to nothingness? No, awaken to thingness!”

Love: marriage: social moral connections: this is a thingness to awaken. Health love work and fun. Awaken

There is a battle of ideas of what words mean, complex words like god, ego, enlightenment, and truth. These words demands battling. Words so complex and multifaceted. That a simple 5 word definition is not enough. Maybe 10 simple unique 5 word definitions would be enough; or 5.

“This guy doesn’t even know how to use a semicolon what the fuck;”

I type to yall from heaven. No, not just heaven, but a stairway to heaven. I am on the path of the stairway to heaven.

You don’t integrate artistic literature into your philosophy. Do you just read philosophers, and disregard modern and premodern musicians?

“When all are one and one are all”

-stairway to heaven.

A reference to unity. Is this “unity” what the fools bark about truth being?

When people rave about truth. I ask, what truth? They say “thee truth” oh, you mean the Omni? God source absolute?

🧬🍄🔮☯️🕸️⏰🌪️🐦‍⬛💡🧬🍄🔮☯️🕸️⏰🌪️🔑

So many ideas, so many words. Such scarce receptive attention. And even scarcer ezer kenegdo responses.

A 10 hour long conversation could not satisfy me. The hunger and thirst for learning I have. What if I want to feel needy and desperate? I want to feel that deep sense of hunger AND DRIVE!

🧬🍄🔮☯️🕸️⏰🌪️🐦‍⬛💡🧬🍄🔮☯️🕸️⏰🌪️🔑

Type to me. Engage with me. Let’s get mean, disrespectful, untrusting, petty, distorted, defensive and offensive. Let’s pursue truth, the Omni, sourcegodabsolute. Let’s learn and have fun expressing our TRUEST selves.

What I most want to type about is momentum and body adaptations to accommodate greater capacity for will.