i messed up bad
my wife has locked me out the house via court order. we've had many fights over the years, never physical. but verbal shouting matches that carried over outside the house. even in front of our 3 kids.
i've messed around on her physically before marriage and still struggle with cyber cheating as a married man. my anger on top of that led me to over the top behavior to her and in front of the police and now i have a court date to decide my fate, yet alone if she will even have me back.
how can i cope with the situation? i want my family, i've sucked as a husband. she hasn't been perfect but ive let years of trauma and resentment build up to the point of combustion, and take it out on her. she has every right to leave, but i still feel there is hope.
leading up to the event i missed my therapy sessions which id been consistent on, thinking i was okay. and now i may have ruined my family with this terrible outburst. (i have a session this week)
again how can i cope during this wait out without constantly depressing over being separated from my wife and kids right now. i really hope we can work things out. i do love her.
tl;dr
wife filed court order and locked me out the house