u/brown_human

hey all,

Me 26M here. Marriage is next month. me and the girl (24) have been talking for almost 8 months now. engaged 2 months ago.
She is soo beautifu, loving and understanding. Im just incredibly lucky to have such a women as my wife. Literally nothing bad to say about her or any red flags at all.

Except for one thing. Intimacy. Im not talking about literal one to one physical intimacy right now but the talkative flirty or fun intimacy. In all these 8 months she has never talked or even played with the idea of such things. Never talked about kisses or affection or cuddles or hugs or whatsoever. Intially for the first 4 months even i brushed it off since its the early stages but i was expecting this to change after the engagement.

And after the engagement 2 months ago, the situation is still the same. The funny thing is even when i try to steer the conversation towards that side of things, she either laughs it off or changes the topic gradually. She doesn’t react like how you would expect someone to react. I experienced this like three times and ever since even i stopped talking in those intimate ways as it was even making me uncomfortable as there is zero reciprocation.

Like im gonna be honest here. I have some mental expectations and verbal cues that i expect from her and it just feels blank or bland in that one particular aspect. Like if i throw a ball, im not even expecting her to throw it back. i just want her to hold that ball and tell me if she likes it or no(bad example but you get the point).

And now with all this said im starting to fear if she is even physically attracted to me ? Or is she just shy and doesn’t want to engage in such talks before marriage ?

She is a pretty centrist women, not too orthodox or not too liberal. She is also caring and loving in every other way. Just this one thing is bothering me and i want to know how it is for you guys ? Am i overthinking ? should i work this out now ? Or should i be calm and relaxed till marriage as this is eventually works out once the physical intimacy stage begins after marriage ?

feel like im pretty vague on this post as i don't know how to express this. so please ask me any questions and i can clarify better.