u/bugsrule

I guess this is mostly a vent but also a personal experience. I am so fucking sick of this. I’ve had chronic pelvic pain since 2016. I started actively seeking medical attention in 2018. At my first appointment, they insisted I had an STD. I’d been with the same partner for years and neither of us had been unfaithful, but what do I know. Unsurprisingly, the tests came back negative.

Over the next several years, I received:

-Several more STD tests
-Several rounds of treatment for yeast infections I didn’t have
-A diagnosis of interstitial cystitis, despite none of the treatments or elimination diets helping my pain
-One ultrasound that only looked at my bladder
-A diagnosis of pudendal neuralgia
-Nerve blocks that did absolutely nothing
-Countless lectures that I just needed to go on birth control, change my diet, or relax

I did all the things they told me to do. I’ve had doctors, nurses, and techs tell me I shouldn’t be feeling the pain I was describing. I’ve had people imply I was exaggerating. I’ve been told that because they couldn’t find anything wrong, I must just have a low pain tolerance.

I actually have an extremely high pain tolerance and absolutely no desire to make a show out of being in pain. Hearing that repeatedly is incredibly invalidating.

I’ve cried so many times over this. Eventually I just accepted that I was always going to be in pain and maybe there wasn’t an explanation, I’m just supremely unlucky. Something must be wrong with me, or I was somehow doing something to cause this.

This year I got a new gynecologist. At my annual in July, I offhandedly mentioned the pelvic pain. I’d mostly given up trying to solve it about two years ago. She asked if I had ever been evaluated for endometriosis.

What do ya know, I sure fucking haven’t. She sent me for a transvaginal ultrasound. I have a 9 cm uterine fibroid. Nine fucking centimeters. Roughly the size of a small grapefruit. The phrase my gynecologist used was “a baby’s head.”

After YEARS of being told endless amounts of bullshit and essentially accepting that maybe I was just unusually sensitive to pain, there has been a massive fucking fibroid growing on my uterus. I’m relieved to finally have an answer. But I am so very, very fucking angry.

Surgery is scheduled for the end of this month. As part of the process, I needed an endometrial biopsy. I reached out the morning of the procedure specifically asking about pain management because my uterus is already extremely angry all the time. I’m in constant pain. At my annual, I could barely tolerate the speculum. I was told it would be fine and that I would experience “light cramping and spotting.”

The pain was so excruciating I almost passed out. Yes, the actual biopsy is brief. I understand not wanting to make a huge production out of a procedure that takes such a short amount of time. But holy fucking shit. I have never felt pain like that in my life.

I was uncontrollably yelling. I almost crushed every bone in my partner’s hand. It surpassed the pain of slipping a lumbar disc last summer. My reaction was so bad, the doctor said she would have to knock me out if they need another sample. All that after I had specifically asked about pain management beforehand.

I am so fucking sick of this.

I’m sick of having a uterus. I’m sick of being told what I’m feeling “shouldn’t” hurt. I’m sick of the assumption that if a doctor can’t immediately find the cause, the problem must be my perception of the pain rather than the possibility that they haven’t found the cause yet.

For years, I was made to feel like I was exaggerating pain that turned out to have a very real, very physical explanation. Even after finally finding it, when I told them I was worried that another uterine procedure would be extremely painful, I was dismissed again.

I am so fucking tired of having to prove myself.

Posted this to a Spanish learning subreddit with little success, but had a great response from r/hardcore! Here to hopefully have a similarly helpful experience :)

I’m currently trying to learn Spanish. Language learning through music has been super helpful for me in the past. Lyrics bring new words and cultural awareness into my orbit, and I love structuring study time around how to discuss music with others.

I’m mostly into death/black/whatever metal and hardcore. I’ve barely scratched the surface with the Latin hardcore scene but came out of r/hardcore with a great list of bands to check out! Geographic location isn’t super important, but I’m based in the US so Latin American bands are especially appreciated.

Looking for bands that mostly sing in Spanish, any and all genres of metal/“extreme” metal please! Also curious what the metal scenes are like across Latin America. School me my dudes.

Posted this to a Spanish learning subreddit, but figured I might have more success here

I’m currently trying to learn Spanish, and learning through music has been super helpful for me in the past. Lyrics bring new words into my orbit, and I love structuring study time around how to discuss music with others.

I’m mostly into death/black/whatever metal and hardcore. I’ll post on a metal sub for those recs though. I’ve barely scratched the surface with the Latin hardcore scene. F.A.C.A. Is my fav so far, Firstline and Raw Brigade both rip, Los Crudos seem like legends. Doesn’t matter where they are geographically, but I am in the US so Latin American bands would be extra helpful

Looking for bands that mostly sing in Spanish. Also curious what the hardcore/metal scenes are like across Latin America. School me my dudes.

Language learning through music has been super helpful for me in the past. Lyrics bring new words into my orbit, and I love structuring study time around how to discuss music with others.

I’m mostly into death/black/whatever metal, and hardcore. Punk recommendations appreciated too.
I’ve barely scratched the surface with the Latin hardcore scene. F.A.C.A. Is my fav so far, Firstline and Raw Brigade both rip, Los Crudos seem like legends.

Looking for bands that mostly sing in Spanish. Also curious what the hardcore/metal scenes are like across Latin America. Hit me with your favorites!

Native English speaker, still relatively new to learning Spanish and trying to find what works best for me. Lots of people have suggested finding music you like to help with language comprehension.

I’m wondering if anyone has experience with Spotify translation/knows how accurate it is/isn’t? Can it be trusted as a reliable source or should I chalk it up to a flawed AI feature?

Thank you in advance :)

Edit 1: to add age/gender

Edit 2: adding more context:

Some more context than what is in the post + in the comments, putting it here for visibility and clarifying some things- she came out 2 months ago. First to me, then a couple days later our parents, then the week after out at work and with friends. She has been exploring her gender expression since we started dating, but initially said she knew she wasn’t trans. A couple years in it turns out she was in some pretty big denial. There were some signs from my pov, but largely it was unexpected. Shortly after coming out she started dressing feminine in public (makeup+clothes+accessories+nails) and has began laser for her face. She has not started HRT yet but hopefully will within the next couple of months. No bottom dysphoria as of right now but that could change. The plan has always been to have a family, so taking measures to have swimmers frozen is currently in the works. Postponing starting a family so she can transition, and postponing marriage until she is a bit more settled in herself. She is still extremely early in her transition. We have been together for 2 years, engaged for 1, but friends for much longer than that.

_________

Not like, zero interaction or anything, just doesn’t identify as a trans woman and doesn’t want to go out of her way to interact with anyone else who is mtf. She (33mtf) identifies as a woman, and doesn’t want to be seen as a trans woman. I (35 cisF) am struggling with a few things.

The first month I put being supportive and accepting before my own feelings (not trying to be a martyr, it just hadn’t fully set in yet). The past month my emotions have taken a nose dive and I can’t get out of it (it’s been just over two months since she came out) I love her more than anything and want to get through this, I am just struggling with so many different things related to this right now. I’m in weekly therapy, but it’s not enough. I reached out to a local trans positive/support group and want to get involved.

She doesn’t want to, and is doing so just because I want to. She is resistant to any type of therapy, and really only getting into it because I’m asking. We’re on the waitlist for a couples therapist who specializes in lgbtq+ specifically trans. She doesn’t have her own therapist, and hasn’t talked to a therapist at all about transitioning. This feels odd to me, therapy seems necessary to the whole realization + process.

She also doesn’t want to be around other trans women. We can’t get involved in this organization without her involvement. She seems annoyed any time I bring up wanting to get involved in the trans community, and says it’s not really something she feels is necessary or wants to do, but she’ll do it for me. I don’t want to pressure her into doing anything she doesn’t want to do, but don’t understand how someone would want to go through something like this on their own. I also don’t understand how you could reject the company/help of people just like you, who have been through what you’re going through/currently are going through it.

I need support or I won’t be able to get through this. I don’t understand how she feels she can (or even should) do this on her own.

I don’t mean to come across as cold hearted or lacking empathy. Could other trans women who felt similarly please help me understand what is happening? I obviously don’t want to force anything on her, and it makes me feel like shit that it’s not something she’s actively interested in. I am trying to empathize with the resistance but struggling. I’m drowning in general here.