u/bullymaguire25

Since coming back home, ive started to slowly slip back into old habits like making bad decisions leading to other bad decisions like bedrotting, doomscrolling, lusting, and having a terrible diet. Leading to poorer hygiene and sleep. Leading to more isolation and losing touch with who I am. Things are complicated but Id bet that alot of why I feel like this is due to low testosterone. I hardly have a drive anymore and lack energy as i also haven't been working out.

Knowing that the devil is the father of lies, it feels all too real that im something im not. Not only does it feel like im something im not but the inner voice in my head is really aggressive with the lie.

Knowing that God would never, i feel it's not from God.

The shaky headspace and uncharacteristic decisions. I know God can see me but its hard to see him.

I left home. I got sober. After getting sober I thought it'd be okay but talking to people thatre friends with the parent, you then talk to the parent, to then coming around every once blue moon to more frequently to moving back in, to then picking up on the behaviors that led to your prescription addiction in the first place.

I find theres a correlation with the more I come around the more I pick up those behaviors I had even during my addiction/dependency.

Whether it be lust that has depleted my dopamine levels or something more specific in that lusting that has convinced me im something im not, I feel more boxed in. Before, I was connected to everything and there was this sense of peace as there was this flow state. But now its the polar opposite of that and I dont feel connected to anything.