u/buoutncuspxn

I [M27] just ordered 6x5ml cerebrolysin from rupharma.

Planning on cycling 5ml daily for 4 weeks, 5 days on, 2 days off. Considering doing 10mL for the last two weeks. ROA: IM in glutes and/or thighs.

Background: I abused cocaine (cocaine’s usually adulterated with random things so that’s a concern too) for a 3-4 months (check post history). Been 3 months clean, but still have symptoms of PAWS maybe. Feels like some part of my brain doesn’t get enough oxygen/blood. I can’t think as profoundly as I used to. My brain shuts off because of the mildest stressors.

I can’t think through work problems anymore (software engineer). I pretty much just lie in bed all day and doomscroll now. I have random headaches here and there. No will or power to do basic tasks like brushing teeth, cleaning my room, etc. sometimes there’s like no thoughts in my head and I feel like I’m going crazy because it feels like I’ve lost most of my inner voice. I’ve had a CT and MRI of my brain so that’s ruled out any visible damage. Neurologist chalked up my symptoms to anxiety but I’ve been an anxious person in the past, and I know that this isn’t how anxiety feels.

Right now, kind of just feels like nothing. But I have weird sensations in my head sometimes. I go too mute, thoughts are blank, voice is quiet. Hard to explain too. Always wake up feeling disconnected from my brain. Sensations get worse around social activities. I should add that I’m also pretty burnt out from my last relationship, and I attribute using coke because of it (or just some insecurity). It helped me be more confident around her. On medical leave for the past month because I told a therapist I have depression.

I have crash outs here and there too where my brain feels like it’s supposed to be thinking more but it can’t. So I panicked. But it doesn’t really feel like anxiety because again, I’ve had anxiety in the past. This is more of a derealized feeling I guess. I developed some speech problems too, I stutter and mumble and am quiet a lot. I don’t really feel any feelings.

I’m sure that all of this won’t really read well on text, even more because it’s already hard to explain how I feel. But I’m sure I’ll know if I’m feeling better.

Feel free to add your own experiences in the comments. I’ll make an update post in a month or so, whenever the shipment arrives and I begin it.

I’ve been using coke for the past 3 months. I have a pretty good feeling that it had been adulterated with worse substances like meth or bath salts or fentanyl or I don’t even know what.

Anyway, I’ve had 3 binges where I did it for 12 hours straight at night, while drinking each time.

It’s been 30 days since the last binge, and since the last time I did coke in general.

My mind does not feel the same anymore.

I am worried that I killed some part of my brain. Maybe due to constriction of blood for so long. Or maybe some cell death happened. I don’t know. Or maybe a small stroke. Maybe the drugs ate away some part of my brain.

I could describe myself as a shell of a human being now. It’s hard to put into words. The smallest stressors like someone making small talk with me will give me a small headache, and my brain shuts off as if blood can’t reach parts of my brain.

I can’t recall some words. My voice is much quieter and I don’t feel many emotions. Not doing well at work anymore.

I don’t know what to do. I got a CT scan of my brain and my doctor said it was clear. I’ll ask for an MRI next.

I want to be like my past confident self when I was funny and outgoing. Now I’m a recluse and I don’t have thoughts anymore. Not curious about anything. Just feel like a shell.

I am going to try Semax the peptide because I have heard that it’s used by stroke patients to recover their brain.

Can anyone tell me what else I can do? Please

I’ve been using coke for the past 3 months. I have a pretty good feeling that it had been adulterated with worse substances like meth or bath salts or fentanyl or I don’t even know what.

Anyway, I’ve had 3 binges where I did it for 12 hours straight at night, while drinking each time.

It’s been 30 days since the last binge, and since the last time I did coke in general.

My mind does not feel the same anymore.

I am worried that I killed some part of my brain. Maybe due to constriction of blood for so long. Or maybe some cell death happened. I don’t know. Or maybe a small stroke. Maybe the drugs ate away some part of my brain.

I could describe myself as a shell of a human being now. It’s hard to put into words. The smallest stressors like someone making small talk with me will give me a small headache, and my brain shuts off as if blood can’t reach parts of my brain.

I can’t recall some words. My voice is much quieter and I don’t feel many emotions. Not doing well at work anymore.

I don’t know what to do. I got a CT scan of my brain and my doctor said it was clear. I’ll ask for an MRI next.

I want to be like my past confident self when I was funny and outgoing. Now I’m a recluse and I don’t have thoughts anymore. Not curious about anything. Just feel like a shell.

I am going to try Semax the peptide because I have heard that it’s used by stroke patients to recover their brain.

Can anyone tell me what else I can do? Please

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