[Existential crisis] To all First Dentist in the family out there
Hello, I’m 30F and I’m suddenly bombarded with thoughts na worth it ba ang 3 years of working ko kasi wala pa ako ipon.
You see, I’m the first dentist in the family. At tinapos ko and Dentistry ng sobrang gipit (scholar ako at tumulong mga kapatid ko lalo na nung board exam expenses ko). Now I feel like I haven’t build a foundation at walang enough funds para makapagtayo ng sarili. Plus the fact na tumatanda na magulang ko makes me really frustrated.
I was okay naman pero parang one day bigla akong binato ng katotohanan at naisip ko kung ano na bang balak ko sa buhay?
I have a friend at doon din ako nagwowork. She wants me to enroll together sa isang preceptorship pero buo na kasi loob ko na hindi muna mag aaral at focus muna ako sa pag iipon. I feel guilty kasi ayaw ko manghiram sa kanya (she offered to pay munapero ayoko sana muna maglabas ng malaking pera at syempre nakakahiya kung matagal ko mababayaran. It will only add to my endless worry)
At first inenjoy ko yung kinikita ko. I bought scrubs na worth the price (hanggang ngayon gamit ko pa. Good investment) at nakapagpa facial ako (insecurities ko at minsan nadin natukso dahil wala ako money for derma noon) at nakapag aral nadin ako ng Ortho (hardest days kasi zero talaga ako dahil sa tuition plus commute twice to thrice a month for the lectures)
I’m just sad na yung bank account ko super empty padin (not totally zero pero konting lagpas lang sa maintaining balance palagi). I have other expenses para sa sarili ko like makeup kasi need to be presentable sa harap ng patient. Buti nalang may mga affordable makeups na mabibili online. Ako din bumibili ng cat food at cat litters at minsan nagseshare sa groceries at kuryente sa bahay. I’m trying to write down all my expenses para ma-cut ko yung ibang di importante.
It’s just that I really need someone to talk to about this and I hope co-dentist can give me ideas or tips as a first dentist in the family din.