u/camelCase149

I (18) started masturbating when I was three years old, I don't know why but maybe related to steroids I had to take for an asthma attack. I have been doing it basically every single day 2-3 times about since, so as you can imagine it's become quite a big habit of mine. I think it's been a coping mechanism to help me through the strong OCD and DPDR signs I've experienced for the majority of my life. Recently my mental health has improved a lot, but I tend to spend a lot of time masturbating on my days off, before/after school or work, even lowkey while driving. I think after doing this for so long without ever really choosing to stop unless I actively have another thing that I need to get done, my body doesn't know when to tell my brain that I'm finished. Also, having pleasurable sensations there is virtually non sexual to me because of how long I've been doing it. Often times when I masturbate I don't even think of anything sexual, I just do it because it feels good. I do get horny, but I think I meet my needs before they even become needs, so I didn't often feel it that intensely. I tend to bring up sexual talk a lot more than my bf has energy for, which may or may not be for attention or some weird undiscovered complexes I have.

I have three main problems:

1. The strong habit leads me to start doing it without even realizing I'm doing it. I have purposefully not masturbated for over 2 days now and I feel randomly anxious/depressed for seemingly no reason. I'm wondering if stopping for a long time and then easing back into it by only getting off during sex or masturbating in sexual contexts (sexting with my bf or reading erotica or fantasizing) and maximum once a day. Also, because of this habit I worry that the hand motion I'm so familiar too gets me into a mental loop of compulsively not being able to "finish" and be done masturbating.
2. I worry that the reason I can't often finish from penetration is because I'm so used to touching myself that anything else is foreign to me. I have orgasmed just from fingering myself, but this was after a ton of clitoral orgasms.
3. I can easily orgasm during sex with clit and g spot stimulation (often 3+ times), but no matter how many times I cum, I never feel like I'm fully "complete", and I often end up masturbating until I fall asleep after sex. I feel completely insatiable after it starts and I think it's because my brain doesn't know how to stop because I never usually stop unless I'm needed elsewhere or I fall asleep.

I have been having sex since I was 15 or so with both men and women but never orgasmed from sex until my current boyfriend. He is good in bed, but we don't do a lot of foreplay on my end, which obviously I plan to talk to him about. As part of being intimate with him, I just want him to be able to make me cum on his own, because it seems I cannot get there unless I'm also rubbing my clit. Don't get me wrong, this feels a lot better than masturbating alone, but I just want him to be able to make me cum by himself since I'm able to do that for him via handjobs/blowjobs/riding etc and I think it would make it a much better experience feeling like I'm completely under his control.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is there any way I can train my brain/body to give my bf control and have more satisfying sex?

Me and my bf (both 18M) have been friends for about a year and have always gotten along better than we've gotten along with anyone else in our lives and found intense respect for each other even as friends. I miss him a lot when we are apart and we’ve only been in a LDR for two months, but he came to visit me for a little over a month where stayed constantly in the same house and we got along great other than two or three pretty minor disagreements that only lasted a few hours that we fully resolved through talking about them.

I’m starting university in the fall (in the United States) and he‘s looking for jobs (in Germany). Plane tickets are really expensive and since I’m only working to pay my tuition and my car payment, I can’t afford to go back and forth all the time especially since most of the time I’ll be studying. Our only real option to live together is marriage it seems but many people are telling me that 18 is too young to get married, also my parents were never married and my mom has been engaged like 4 times so I really just don’t want to live a life like that because integrity is important to me and I want to make a decision based on years of knowing him so that I’ll feel less uneasy about it. We want to live together within a year but work/school is stopping us from visiting often until then. I’m more open to waiting it out than he is but I just want to know our options.

Have any other couples had this problem and are there any lesser known solutions we could try?

Him and I met on Reddit exactly a year ago and were good friends for about 9 months. I love him a lot. Long distance is hard but I love being with him. He’s one of my favorite people in my entire life and he‘s so special to me. I truly want to grow old with this beautiful guy and I can’t wait to share life with him. Cheers to finding your person! (I’m the short blond guy and hes the tall handsome one)

https://preview.redd.it/cpb8hobqdc0h1.jpg?width=2880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea0ff79fa945dfc677dd75d498819ee75df94709

https://preview.redd.it/d9z5qobqdc0h1.jpg?width=1215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bfb37349daeae5b4aadf44de83a1ce75f0e39efc

https://preview.redd.it/3a70gobqdc0h1.jpg?width=1215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24f3595e6e7acfdc9ff23820dea685d8df377175

https://preview.redd.it/zgjc3pbqdc0h1.jpg?width=1215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c5903a905d4622601d6cce50c027246427163ad

https://preview.redd.it/y4vzcobqdc0h1.jpg?width=1215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ce443eb7086dd3448a2b9839a4793a556b908c5

https://preview.redd.it/6afrb87z180h1.jpg?width=2880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=066033c765318e24700a7e36fac7bf8f19f4fe0b

https://preview.redd.it/tpm4b97z180h1.jpg?width=1215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3dc6c7bbea0f1e55cfe0950029e60a9593c66523

https://preview.redd.it/xvgjs87z180h1.jpg?width=1215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d34b79b8186092b02c3c9f60dd3a973d5157ffa4

https://preview.redd.it/6d36hb7z180h1.jpg?width=1215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8534ba83b21b4d12c313594cbf0602757d13a86

https://preview.redd.it/65on097z180h1.jpg?width=1215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c87faa5aae24c797bcf92f27df51cd1de7edafeb

https://preview.redd.it/9djbsa7z180h1.jpg?width=1215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc525cb472832e81d26824726406b623ce89f98a

Him and I met on this very subreddit exactly a year ago and were good friends for about 9 months. I love him a lot. Long distance is hard but I love being with him. He’s one of my favorite people in my entire life and he‘s so special to me. I truly want to grow old with this beautiful guy and I can’t wait to share life with him. Cheers to finding your person! (I’m the short blond guy and hes the tall handsome one)