u/capthalfpint

Now I know I can’t go around driving with one eye closed but I made this observation today. With both eyes open, even with my prism glasses my nervous system must sense something is off. When I’m stopping I start to get butterflies in my stomach and then the muscles around my eyes feel like they are spasming. I’ve even had tachycardia out of nowhere when coming to a stop.

When I got my first set of prism glasses a couple months ago symptoms disappeared for a bit. Then they came back. I got a new set of prism glasses but I’m still having issues. I’ve been wearing them for a few weeks.

Should I tell my eye doctor what I discovered? Should I get new glasses? I’m doing vision therapy. I really struggle with jump duction.

Now I have scanxiety. I don’t know if they are going to release the scans on mychart or if I’m waiting for someone to call me. Like did radiology read them yet? Now I gotta wait all weekend? But then again I don’t know if I even want these results! Ugh

It isn’t expected to have spread being small and no issues on my breast mri.

But I was one of the few who had recurrence right after ending treatment. We don’t think the herceptin got all the cells.

It’s hard not to think worst case because of how I had recurrence within months.

I just needed to write this somewhere. Friends don’t understand and even some breasties I’m sure can’t imagine this because my situation is so rare. But at least yall have some idea of what I’m feeling.

I feel like I have to lean into faith because science failed me. But I’m scared to even say that because there are more treatments I can try.

Mostly superficial rant but it’s going to mess with my head even more. I was already not ok.

I haven’t lost the 20lbs I gained the first time. It hasn’t budged. Albeit I was underweight, I CANNOT gain that much weight again

My brain/cognition was just starting to get better

I’m thinking I have to get radiation this time. I already mourned my boobs once. My reconstructed boobs are actually beautiful. Now I’m mourning what radiation is going to do.

Taxol and or herceptin really fucked me up mentally. I haven’t been the same since. (I can’t tolerate antidepressants thanks to dysautonomia).

My ovaries may have recuperated from taxol and now I’m about to have to deal with that emotional mess again. And the hot flashes.

Taxol gave me awful folliculitis.

I kept most of my hair during chemo but it started to shed after quite a bit. I suspect I’ll need wigs now.

I’ve lost hope in ever being attractive again.

I know this is mostly superficial. But that’s where I’m at right now. I’m single and alone.

I don’t even know what else to say. This is so unfair.

Edit: Diagnosed Stage 1 Grade 3 11mm IDC HER2+ last April.
Double mastectomy
12 weeks herceptin/taxol
3 more months herceptin for a total of 6 months vs 12 due to side effects and a Persephone (maybe) trial results.

Current results ER/PR-, measured about 5mm on ultrasound. Was told back in April it was fat necrosis.

Edit 2: for anyone else that has had recurrence, if it’s still local and her2+, any idea what my treatment plan is? Radiation? Something other than herceptin and taxol?

I just finished chemo in October and Herceptin in January. In April I was told this spot was fat necrosis from reconstruction. I had a follow up ultrasound and now this….

Physical exam demonstrates a mobile pea-sized lump in the far medial reconstructed left breast at 9:00 in the patient's area of concern.
Focused ultrasound of this area at 9:00, 9
cm from the nipple demonstrates similar appearance of the oval, circumscribed, hypochoic mass with no internal vascularity measuring 5 × 4 × 5 mm. This has slightly increased in size when compared to prior exam, previously measuring 3 × 3 × 4 mm.
Impression:

1. No targeted sonographic evidence of malignancy in the right.
2. Minimally increased size of the palpable left breast mass at 9:00.
   Recommend ultrasound-guided biopsy for further evaluation.
   Final Assessment: Suspicious.
   BI-RADS Category: 4A low suspicion for malignancy
   Recommendations:
   Biopsy should be performed

I had stage 1 IDC HER2+, no lymph nodes last year. Did the 12 week taxol. I had reconstruction in November with implants and fat grafting around them. April I felt a round, hard pea in a fat grafting area, and they said fat necrosis upon US. Just followed up yesterday and now I’m being told it shouldn’t grow so off to biopsy I go. The only thing slightly easing my mind is the radiologist said there are some factors such as how the first US was done/read/angle could influence the reading. I just got done with shit and am nowhere back to normal mentally or physically to do this all again.

NOT LOOKING FOR MEDICAL ADVICE, JUST ORHERS EXPERIENCES

Some of y’all sound like this is a mushroom trip and you better be in the right state of mind to take the pill. I guess ill wait until tomorrow night 😅

Am I wanting to take this morning or evening?
Starting with 0.25mg 🤷🏻‍♀️

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I took it for the first time today and have a headache now from significant strain while working (on computer). I seemed to lose focus more today too. No actual diplopia but vision was losing focus and blurring. I looked it up and now I’m paranoid I have myasthenia gravis. Thanks internet!

Edited to be in somewhat proper English.

I’m in survivorship and hate my body. I want to try some gradual tanner or self tanners at home. Is this safe for us chemical wise?

Any recommendations greatly appreciated! I’m super pasty white from being indoors all day everyday on top of poor circulation.

I apologize for the vanity topic. It’s just you ladies are the only ones who have researched everything under the sun. I didn’t feel like I could ask this anywhere else!

Editing to say thank you for all the recommendations and the emotional support. Yall are the best!

I had stage 1 HER2+ ER/PR- IDC last year. I did the double mastectomy and chemo/herceptin. I feel like since treatment ended my mood and anxiety has worsened. In fact, I feel like all areas of my life have declined greatly. I can’t sleep. I wake up very early and begin to feel anxious and worry. I’m anxious throughout the day off and on. I feel depressed. My hair is falling out. Weight gain. I don’t want to leave the house. I don’t respond well to antidepressants. I just don’t think I can continue to function like this. I don’t know what to do.

I’m starting to freak out. I am only on 1/4 tablet and have been taking it most nights for the past 2-3
weeks. There was a random increase in shedding today as I ran my fingers through my hair.

Last taxol was back in October. I’m definitely not complaining about this. I just find it interesting. My nails also survived chemo but NOW they are peeling and breaking more.