u/casualegend27

Ik werk nu als front-end developer en verdien €3.200 bruto per maand (40 uur) vast contract. Ik ben vorig jaar begonnen na mijn HBO Informatica met €2.800 en heb na een paar maanden al opslag gekregen. Dat vond ik op zich ook terecht. Ik was binnen een week al ingewerkt. De leidinggevende van mijn afdeling zei dat ik praktisch niet hoefde in te werken.

Volgens mijn werkgever was het startsalaris laag want eerdere front-end developers op mijn positie waren snel weer vertrokken of er was "gedoe". Dat voelde voor mij wel als een aparte reden om het salaris laag te zetten. Wel met 13e maand als compensatie als ik bleef.

Mijn functie is officieel front-end developer, maar in de praktijk doe ik ook backend-werk en meer (API’s, pipelines, devops, en databases). Dat komt vooral doordat er al een backend-team is en er juist iemand voor front-end nodig was. Ik heb zelf aangegeven dat ik dat extra werk wel wilde oppakken.

Naast mijn werk heb ik nog:

een professionele webapp gebouwd vrijwillig voor een lokale evenementenstichting.

Een KvK-registratie en ik maak indie games (soort passief inkomen). Maar heb nu erg weinig tijd naast 40 uur werken dus dat inkomen is nu erg laag.

Maar met game development is qua complexiteit echt een stuk zwaarder dan mijn huidige werk. Ik verveel me niet, maar ik heb wel het gevoel dat veel mensen (ook in IT) onderschatten hoeveel kennis en disciplines daarbij komen kijken. Dat merkte ik bij mij sollicitatie gesprek. In dezelfde programmeertaal nog wel als ze gebruiken voor hun backend.

Nu zit ik te twijfelen over een paar dingen:

Is mijn salaris oké voor mijn niveau/ervaring in Nederland?

Hoe kan ik groeien en wanneer en hoe kan ik dit aankaarten?

En ik overweeg om naar 32 uur te gaan i.v.m. persoonlijke omstandigheden, maar ik ben bang dat dat mijn handelspositie in de weg zit dus beter wachten daarmee?

Ik ben benieuwd hoe jullie hier tegenaan kijken. Ben 26 en vind het nogal lastig wanneer en hoe ik kan handelen over mijn positie

I'm a 26M and I’ve been struggling with online dating for years. I genuinely feel like I'm doing something wrong because I get zero likes, while my friends get enough to actually go on dates every week. I get 0 in years.

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I've remade my profile countless times, changed photos, improved my bio, added hobbies, travel pics, and tried basically every piece of advice out there. I even spent hunderds of euros because people told me for the algorithm. Nothing changes. Basically ripped off so hard.

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I know dating apps aren't fully fair, but after years of getting absolutely no results, it’s hard not to think I'm the problem.

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I'm not looking to give up. I want to experience dating and understand what I'm doing wrong. Has anyone been in this situation and turned it around? I'd really appreciate if someone can actually tell me the truth because it just seems like I'm ugly. And all responses I ever get in my social circle are platitudes such as "no one is ugly" yeah but not handsome enough to get a single date yet my friends do get dates? I feel like a lot of people lie to me because they do not want to say the truth. I genuinely do not know what to do.

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Yes, I have hobbies and I do sports, that's not the issue on my dating profile. I'm genuinely looking for help. I have asked help from friends and everyone says my profile is amazing...

Is it just me or is it really hard to make friends or even just have conversations in Discord public servers?

Whenever I try to talk, my questions or comments are often ignored about half the time, and the other half I do get replies. Sometimes it turns into a conversation because I like asking questions, understanding people, and sharing things myself. But I rarely feel that interest coming back. Most of the time it stops at a "you?" without really continuing. Like they are totally not interested.

Even topics that I don't know a lot about, I try to engage in, although it seems like not a lot of people are willing to explain stuff, even if it seems like their passion?? Like I they tell me to Google stuff or say stuff like no one asked... It doesn't sound very welcoming. Maybe they aren't open to new connections. I used to think communicating over text is easier but honestly, even talking to people irl is much easier than this

To add more context, I'm also not a regular Discord user; I don't watch anime and I don't like talking about coding, AI prompt, localhost, devops etc. in my spare time, and I don't play a lot of games. I'm into languages, culture, history, series/movies, videogames (partially), creative stuff (modelling/sculpting, painting, art), and visiting cultural events n attractions. Sometimes I like to go out to the pub. So maybe this makes it a bit harder to connect w people?

In the general chat it feels hard to keep things going, and DMing people is a huge taboo.

I joined a small expat server today because I love languages and cultures. People around me tell me I'm social, but I'm also neurodivergent and sometimes get told I don't read the room well. I've noticed some people can make "mistakes" like only talking about themselves, but it often goes unmentioned. So I’m wondering if I might be doing something similar without realizing it.

Does anyone else struggle with this, any similar experiences, and how do you actually approach making connections online in a public Discord server?

I struggle a lot with my family. There seems to be a lot of misunderstanding what ASD is. My brother is a heavy drug addict. There's a lot of tension in the family. It's very hard for me to deal with this cuz he keeps comparing having a drug addiction to having autism. His argument is that some ppl are more sensitive to getting addicted, hence he's born into the addiction. He says they are both mental disorders. Although he keeps reminding me that you can get rid of addiction but I'll never get rid of autism. Constantly telling me that at least he isn't an 'autist' as he likes to use as a slur (to other ppl like friends he keeps referring me as 'the autist')

Even after telling him to quit making this comparison he keeps mentioning it. What do I do?

Anytime my parents tell him to leave the home he keeps mentioning I should be kicked out cuz I have autism. He keeps making me genuinely feel bad. He said my sister left the home due to my autism which isn't even true and makes up stuff to cause conflict w other relatives. I've a hard time even reading the room, let alone dealing with conflicts like this. It gives me a lot of stress and makes me feel insecure... how do I deal with this properly?