u/catlover4321

Hi everyone,

I had my egg retrieval yesterday and I didn't expect to feel so sad immediately afterwards. Our numbers are generally what they expected and are a good starting point but I just immediately felt sad/upset and I can't really explain why. I then started feeling disappointed at myself for feeling sad/upset, when I know there are some people who might walk away with no eggs from the procedure.

I'm not sure if I'll feel better today once we get a call from the embryologist and we know how many are mature/fertilised because that will be our proper starting point and we might feel a bit of a sense of relief then.

Did anyone else feel like this? I'm now starting to spiral and I'm beating myself up for feeling sad, and thinking that this is going to make me a bad parent. The IVF emotional rollercoaster is such a minefield, so if anyone can relate then please share. Is there anything I can do to try and feel a bit more positive? I'm conscious some of this may be hormone related but it potentially feels too early for the hormone drop to have properly kicked in.

(Ideally please don't share specific numbers from your egg collection as I'm trying to avoid comparison to others)

Hi all,

I had my egg retrieval yesterday and I didn't expect to feel so sad afterwards. Our numbers are generally what they expected and are a good starting point but I just immediately felt sad/upset and I can't really explain why. I then started feeling disappointed at myself for feeling sad/upset, when I know there are some people who might walk away with no eggs from the procedure.

I'm not sure if I'll feel better today once we get a call from the embryologist and we know how many are mature/fertilised because that will be our proper starting point and we might feel a bit of a sense of relief then.

Did anyone else feel like this? I'm now starting to spiral and I'm beating myself up for feeling sad, and thinking that this is going to make me a bad parent. The IVF emotional rollercoaster is such a minefield, so if anyone can relate then please share.

(Ideally please don't share specific numbers from your egg collection as I'm trying to avoid comparison to others)

Hi all,

My husband and I are currently trying to work out our budget for our next house. However, the challenge we have is we're hoping to have kids (about to start IVF for our first), and it's tricky to know how much disposable income we will have when our family changes. We would welcome any advice from people who have kids and have a better sense of how much it actually affects the budget and how much would be comfortable for the new mortgage. Here are some details:

• Current house bought for 450k and around 330 remaining on the mortgage. Will likely sell for 450-470ish.
• We have 140k in savings, around 15k of that is currently earmarked for our first round of IVF, and we will need to keep a future IVF fund as we hope to have two children.
• Our household income is 120k (plus around 6-8k of bonus/overtime each year), we both have relative job stability but are not expecting any promotions in the near future. The plan is I will continue to work after kids but will likely drop down to 4 days a week (either compressed or reducing hours). Our take home pay each month (after student loan and season ticket deductions) is around £7000.
• 4 days a week in a local nursery using the 30 hours funded is around £800 a month.
• We're early/mid 30s, and have no early retirement plans. We will get our work pension at state pension age, although can choose to retire early if we want.

So, grateful for thoughts on what is a sensible mortgage payment each month on our income when you're hoping to have kids in the near future (but also have uncertainty about how much you'll need to spend to actually have the kids, ha!)? We do have a big pot of savings but it's also really hard to know how much of this to put towards a deposit, or to just keep for future expenses.

We’re due to start IVF next week and I really need some advice on how to detach from work stress during this time. I’m a high performer whose always been praised for their commitment, but this means I can struggle to switch-off/detach from work. My current role is quite stressful and short staffed. Although my manager is supportive and has said I need to focus on myself over the next few weeks, I feel like I don’t know how to. So if anyone in a similar position has any practical tips for genuinely being able to prioritise myself and not letting work stress affect me / come home with me then that would be amazing. I still want to feel like I’m doing a “good” job during this time, but I want to be able to weather any challenges without getting too stressed.

Hi all,

I'm looking to plan a short break in the UK for my birthday in August and we're looking for some good recommendations for a hotel, cottage or air bnb. We're due to start IVF soon and my birthday falls during a treatment break, so will be looking to just get away from it all and relax together. However, because of this we're looking for somewhere that won't be totally overrun with families in the school holidays.

We're not super fussy about location (we can drive or get the train), but would love somewhere relatively quiet, where we can go for runs/walks and with excellent food (think gastropub, trendy pizza places, nice brunch etc). Bonus points if it's near a beach but this isn't a must-have!

No specific budget in mind but we're looking for it not to be too spenny given the amount we're about to sink on IVF.

We've had some great recommendations from this subreddit previously so looking forward to seeing the suggestions.

My partner and I are hoping to start a family soon and are debating whether to stay in Croydon or move further afield. We’re currently in South Croydon which works well for us in terms of the commute and house prices, but we would potentially prefer to be somewhere slightly less busy and a bit “quieter”. However, we can’t go too remote as we both need to be in the office 5 days a week, so need the flexibility of a walkable nursery, school and train station.

So we’re looking for recommendations on family friendly areas in or nearby Croydon, which have a walkable train station and aren’t mega expensive. Two potential options we’re thinking of from rightmove searching are Riddlesdown or Addiscombe?

Hi all,

I'm looking for recommendations on hairdressers in London for wavy/curly hair, which is probably type 2b/2c. Ideally I'm looking for somewhere near clapham junction or London Victoria, but could also do somewhere reasonably near London Bridge or Charing Cross too. Thanks everyone - I've never been to a proper curly hairdresser before so I'm hoping to find someone who knows what theyre doing.