r/HENRYUKLifestyle

I’d really like to hear from women in a similar position, particularly those who previously had quite intense careers.

I’m a new mum in London and I absolutely love having my baby. Before having him, I worked in finance/professional services and recruitment-type roles, with very long hours. Work was basically my entire life.

In hindsight, I don’t think that relationship with work was particularly healthy for me. I’m quite an all-or-nothing person, so when work was going well I felt incredible, and when it was going badly it felt devastating. I really don’t want to go back to living like that.

My husband earns enough that, thankfully, I don’t need to go back to full-time work for financial reasons. We’d ideally like three children, body/life permitting, and financially we should be able to manage that on his income.

But I also don’t want to stop working altogether.
I’d like something that gives me:

1. degree of financial independence / my own money
2. adult interaction
3. some time where I’m not “mum”
4. ideally, something mentally stimulating (optional)
   5. very little stress

I’m also happy with remote work (I think?)

Realistically, I’d be perfectly happy earning around £500–£1,000 a month. More would obviously be nice, but maximizing income is no longer the objective. I almost want a hobby that happens to pay me.

I’m not particularly concerned about status or career progression anymore. I care much more about flexibility and being present for my children.
For context, I’m very good with people, good at making first impressions, have recruitment experience, speak languages well, and generally enjoy talking to people. I’m London-based.
So for women who were previously ambitious/high-earning and then deliberately downshifted after children: what did you actually end up doing?

Did you:
- negotiate a 2–3 day week in your old industry?
consult/freelance?
- start something small yourself?
- retrain?
- tutor/teach?
- do something completely unrelated to your previous career?
- decide even part-time corporate work wasn’t worth the mental load?

I’m especially interested in hearing about jobs that genuinely stay contained within their hours. I don’t want a supposedly “three-day-a-week” job that occupies five days of brain space.

Would love to hear what has actually worked in practice, and anything you tried that looked ideal on paper but wasn’t.

Moving away from Lululemon and really don’t want to jump on the Alo wagon.
Any recommendations of qualitative sportswear for pilates, weight training from companies more down to earth and less influencer type of vibe?

We want to go away somewhere in the UK and not super far from Sheffield with our 14 month old at the end of next week. We’re happy to drive a few hours but our toddler won’t tolerate a very long journey. Obviosuly most places are booked up, any recommendations for toddler friendly hotels that might have last minute availability would be appreciated.

Hello! Looking for a recommendation for a beach holiday in September with a 3 month old. Wasn’t a fan of all inclusive before a child but now it might be an option given how much more convenient it is. Also looking something with as little travel from London as possible (no ferry transfers). I like sandy beaches in Greece but open to suggestions! Budget flexible.

Hi everyone,

What would be the best areas to live in Yorkshire (Dales, Moors, Howardian Hills, or further south of Yorkshire) with career opportunities?

My brother who is also a HENRY is looking to shift up to Yorkshire to be closer to family and they are looking for areas there with good career opportunities.

I know Leeds and Manchester can be nearby-ish for the career aspect but it seems as though there are other big industries there too.

He works in Data Analytics currently and earning upwards of £140k in London with a total benefits of £165k.

He's open to all industries and has worked in banking, insurance, healthcare (public and pharma companies), retail etc with household or recognisable brands. Majority of it has been in financial services but he has got 10 years of consulting experience as well.

Lifestyle wise they are looking for a detached house, 4+ bedrooms, a couple of acres of land minimum, family friendly, green and areas unlikely to be built on (e.g. housing developments), close-by to pubs and schools.

With that in mind what in mind, what would you suggest are the best areas to live in Yorkshire?

Our wonderful nanny Layla is looking for a new family in London. She has been looking after our twins and has been absolutely amazing. She is very experienced with managing multiple children at once. She is based in North London but has been travelling to us in South London. We pay her £19 per hour. I know how difficult it can be to find someone who is reliable and is comfortable looking after multiple children at the same time. She really is fantastic and we would happily keep her if we weren't moving out of London! Please DM if you are interested.

Had my second child 12 days ago and am having a bit of a delayed nesting phase.

Had a bit of a “summer clean”, and looking for some nice new towels, duvet sets, flat sheets etc. Any brands / sites you can recommend that are worth the money?

Edit: thank you for all your responses, lots of lovely websites to look at!

Likely to book this for October with 11 month old and 3.5 year old. Has anyone been and recommend, or have any tips on the resort (or IKOS tips in general)?

Edit: booking deluxe if that makes a difference

As I’ve worked my way up through the ladders, taking on more stress and working longer hours I’ve been packing on the pounds…

I moved firm about a 18 months ago as i was in a completely toxic environment and had no WLB. I put on about 10kg during that time whilst also dealing with some very challenging personal circumstances (bereavement).

I’m now in a job that is high pressure but I definitely have more control over my time - have more time to cook etc but find that I’m quite often tired. I do go to the gym, I walk but I live a very busy lifestyle where I’m often away at the weekends.

Does anyone have any helpful (or unhinged) tips and tricks they used to lose weight whilst working a demanding job? Willing to pay for things that make it easier

I am by no means overweight but I feel like shit and I need to feel better asap.

I'm really curious. As a mum of 2, I notice that a lot of the disagreements me and my husband have had since our kids were born are about finances. About our budgets for birthdays and christmas, about if we should send our kids to private school or not, about family holidays, about extracurricular activities.

So other HENRY parents, what's the biggest financial disagreement you've had with your spouse since you've become parents?

For example, a friend has told me side by side prams are easier to push than tandem prams, on the whole. What did you get 2 of, versus only 1 of?

Dear HENRYs

Where did you all find your nannies? Struggling to find one in Merseyside. Did you go via an agency? Thanks in advance.

Looking for any recommendations for not-cheap-but-not-fancy restaurants for 8 friends all in the HENRY category, preferebly central london.

cheers

Putting this in here as I feel the numbers involved can sometimes irk people on HousingUk

TL:DR live in an expensive 3 bed house as a singleton, or sell up and take the money because it may be easier to be commitment free in future.

Currently going through a breakup, and need to make a decision on what to do with the house…

I’m late thirties, and a few years ago we bought a 3 bed, 4 bath house (don’t ask me why someone thought you’d have 4 people needing to take a dump at the same time) Nice commuter town, 15 min walk to the train station with fast trains to London where I work.

Ex partner is moving country, so she’s out anyway. I’m trying to work out if I should just sell up, or try and take it on by myself. No kids. Had settled on being child free, but I am open to the possibility of kids. My partner wasn’t. Think I’m 60/40 to no kids/kids. I can see the benefits of both paths. She was also a HENRY so we were super comfortable with affordability.

Buying: House valued at £1.2-£1.3m I own £464k equity in the house. She’s owed around £100k equity. Mortgage of £610k left currently to pay. £12k early repayment charge until March.

I am very fortunate that I have some family willing to help me if I choose to stay. I think that could be between £200-£300k gift. I also have £200k saved for FIRE plans that I could put in.

I earn £100k basic, £50k bonus (solid for 4 years always paid out, not sales related) and about £10k per year from some side consulting gig.

I think I’d be comfortable with a £2k per month mortgage payment on my own. Bills would be around £700 a month. That would leave me enough to still have a comfortable lifestyle.

Selling up…

I could move to rent in a similar but slightly cheaper town that I had looked at previously for a bit. Could be good to have a new environment, new beginnings and all that. Would come out of it with a big chunk of cash that would give me a fair amount of freedom. Negatives are obviously going back to rented for a while, probably a flat, maybe not have parking and sell a car I love, feels like a bit of a step back in life.

Wouldn’t be tied to a family style house that might anchor me here a bit too much for future relationships. Can’t predict the future but I might meet someone who doesn’t want to move out to the burbs. And it can be awkward someone moving into someone else’s existing space.

I do love this house. I like being in a detached and not having to worry about annoying my neighbours with music.

I like that I have off street parking when a lot of stock here is terraced on-street parking and oversubscribed.

I like having outside space, growing veg, a garden, a log burner in winter. We’ve done some improvements that I like.

But there would be three bathrooms I’d never really use. Living in a town where Londoners move to, to have families doesn’t make it the best place to be single and find a partner in your late thirties. But I don’t want to move back to London. That’s off the cards.

Help me with some objective views, what would you do?

My wife is looking for a newborn photographer that works in North London. We had an amazing experience with our first but unfortunately the photographer has moved away and understandably asking for a lot more to travel in.

We’re looking very much for the natural, relaxed aesthetic. Linens and cuddly browns is my best go at describing it.

For context, we’ve had a few quotes but many of them are £500+ with only a handful of digitals. Our previous photographer was similar price but 12-15 included. To make up the difference will double the price of the base package. We’re not able to afford that budget/workmanship.

Has anyone got any recommendations for photographers they’ve used that might better match our affordability?

Anybody in need of a Neko Health referral code, please feel free to reach out!

Hello! This is our first baby and we’re looking for a holiday recommendation which we will enjoy but will also be great for our one year old. Looking to go Jan / Feb. Particularly any hotels which were amazing and have childcare or kids club facilities which will work for a one year old. A lot I can find online start at 4. Recommendations are greatly appreciated!

Recommendations for a food processor or blender?

want to make hommous - my ninja cant cut it it makes it a paste hehe

My husband works with his father, his family have a business that has existed for a few generations. I'm not going to say my husbands exact take home pay but it's safe to say that we don't struggle and we can afford luxuries. So there is no need for me to have to work full time or even part time. I've been able to stay home and raise my kids. But my son is 3 and starting nursery, he will be at nursery on Mondays, Tuesdays and a half day on Wednesdays.

So I will have 2 and a half days where I have free time. But I have no clue what to do. Like I said, I don't need to work nor do I want to work a full time job whilst my kids are still young because I want to be there for them after school and during the school holidays. But I do want to do something with my free time.

And I'm wondering if maybe I should try and start up my own mini business from home? Should I focus on my hobbies? I have no clue. I feel a bit lost right now.