u/catmom-reemi

I have been forced to wear my hijab at 9 years old by my dad. I am the oldest between 6 sisters and we were all forced to wear the hijab at a young age.
I have endured physical and emotional violence at the hands of my parents since i was a child especially around religious stuff such as being forced to take islamic lessons, go to islamic camps, not being able to watch certain cartoons because the girls in it dressed in short clothes, no talking to boys no going on school overnight trips… etc and being hit pretty badly by my dad if i didn’t comply with his rules
When I went to uni I started therapy and i have been in therapy for 7 years now. During this time, i got diagnosed with severe anxiety and an autoimmune immune disease which is directly related to stress.
Fortunately, in the past couple of years i have processed a lot of my trauma, met the love of my life, finished my masters and im getting married next month :)
As I let myself be more and more independent, and more free, I keep realising that my hijab holds me back because it’s a piece and a reminder of my old life and something that never consented to.
In the past year I let go of everything i have been taught about islam and started discovering it in my own lens as a religion built on love and comfort and not fear and suffering.
And as each day goes by I become more convinced that I dont wanna be wearing a hijab. Realising that makes me really anxious because im scared of my family, of how they’re gonna react especially my dad. Im scared im gonna lose my mom because while she loves me dearly, my dad has always been her number 1 and she would trade me and all my siblings just for him.
I’m scared of the unknown, scared of what is gonna happen when i take it off, and if i even have the courage in me to take it off or i will always wear it because im scared and never get to be truly myself.
I don’t know what to do, i would love to hear from women who have been through similar experiences and can relate to my anxiety
Thank you for reading all the way❤️

I have been forced to wear my hijab at 9 years old by my dad. I am the oldest between 6 sisters and we were all forced to wear the hijab at a young age.
I have endured physical and emotional violence at the hands of my parents since i was a child especially around religious stuff such as being forced to take islamic lessons, go to islamic camps, not being able to watch certain cartoons because the girls in it dressed in short clothes, no talking to boys no going on school overnight trips… etc and being hit pretty badly by my dad if i didn’t comply with his rules
When I went to uni I started therapy and i have been in therapy for 7 years now. During this time, i got diagnosed with severe anxiety and an autoimmune immune disease which is directly related to stress.
Fortunately, in the past couple of years i have processed a lot of my trauma, met the love of my life, finished my masters and im getting married next month :)
As I let myself be more and more independent, and more free, I keep realising that my hijab holds me back because it’s a piece and a reminder of my old life and something that never consented to.
In the past year I let go of everything i have been taught about islam and started discovering it in my own lens as a religion built on love and comfort and not fear and suffering.
And as each day goes by I become more convinced that I dont wanna be wearing a hijab. Realising that makes me really anxious because im scared of my family, of how they’re gonna react especially my dad. Im scared im gonna lose my mom because while she loves me dearly, my dad has always been her number 1 and she would trade me and all my siblings just for him.
I’m scared of the unknown, scared of what is gonna happen when i take it off, and if i even have the courage in me to take it off or i will always wear it because im scared and never get to be truly myself.
I don’t know what to do, i would love to hear from women who have been through similar experiences and can relate to my anxiety
Thank you for reading all the way❤️

I have been forced to wear my hijab at 9 years old by my dad. I am the oldest between 6 sisters and we were all forced to wear the hijab at a young age.
I have endured physical and emotional violence at the hands of my parents since i was a child especially around religious stuff such as being forced to take islamic lessons, go to islamic camps, not being able to watch certain cartoons because the girls in it dressed in short clothes, no talking to boys no going on school overnight trips… etc and being hit pretty badly by my dad if i didn’t comply with his rules
When I went to uni I started therapy and i have been in therapy for 7 years now. During this time, i got diagnosed with severe anxiety and an autoimmune immune disease which is directly related to stress.
Fortunately, in the past couple of years i have processed a lot of my trauma, met the love of my life, finished my masters and im getting married next month :)
As I let myself be more and more independent, and more free, I keep realising that my hijab holds me back because it’s a piece and a reminder of my old life and something that never consented to.
In the past year I let go of everything i have been taught about islam and started discovering it in my own lens as a religion built on love and comfort and not fear and suffering.
And as each day goes by I become more convinced that I dont wanna be wearing a hijab. Realising that makes me really anxious because im scared of my family, of how they’re gonna react especially my dad. Im scared im gonna lose my mom because while she loves me dearly, my dad has always been her number 1 and she would trade me and all my siblings just for him.
I’m scared of the unknown, scared of what is gonna happen when i take it off, and if i even have the courage in me to take it off or i will always wear it because im scared and never get to be truly myself.
I don’t know what to do, i would love to hear from women who have been through similar experiences and can relate to my anxiety
Thank you for reading all the way❤️

I have been forced to wear my hijab at 9 years old by my dad. I am the oldest between 6 sisters and we were all forced to wear the hijab at a young age.
I have endured physical and emotional violence at the hands of my parents since i was a child especially around religious stuff such as being forced to take islamic lessons, go to islamic camps, not being able to watch certain cartoons because the girls in it dressed in short clothes, no talking to boys no going on school overnight trips… etc and being hit pretty badly by my dad if i didn’t comply with his rules
When I went to uni I started therapy and i have been in therapy for 7 years now. During this time, i got diagnosed with severe anxiety and an autoimmune immune disease which is directly related to stress.
Fortunately, in the past couple of years i have processed a lot of my trauma, met the love of my life, finished my masters and im getting married next month :)
As I let myself be more and more independent, and more free, I keep realising that my hijab holds me back because it’s a piece and a reminder of my old life and something that never consented to.
In the past year I let go of everything i have been taught about islam and started discovering it in my own lens as a religion built on love and comfort and not fear and suffering.
And as each day goes by I become more convinced that I dont wanna be wearing a hijab. Realising that makes me really anxious because im scared of my family, of how they’re gonna react especially my dad. Im scared im gonna lose my mom because while she loves me dearly, my dad has always been her number 1 and she would trade me and all my siblings just for him.
I’m scared of the unknown, scared of what is gonna happen when i take it off, and if i even have the courage in me to take it off or i will always wear it because im scared and never get to be truly myself.
I don’t know what to do, i would love to hear from women who have been through similar experiences and can relate to my anxiety
Thank you for reading all the way❤️