u/cats_cradle_456

Its less painful and confusing than being abandoned.

And just stay single so i could do what i needed to for me and no one else. To not have to suffer so long without accomplishing what i needed to do. To put myself first and not be still trying to finish what i started so long ago. Im glad my exes got all that they needed from me, but i did not. Not from them and not from myself. It gets harder everyday to be myself. Still pushing forward in pain. Praying that one day MY dreams can come true.

My life begins and and ends with me..i cannot tell u the horrible things ive done..the madness that lives in my head..the forgiveness i cannot accept..i cannot forgive myself..the poor choices i have made eat at me day in and day out..how delusional i am of myself..knowing me is not the person u think i am..my path of destruction is far too great to think that i could be good for anyone..my improvements have come at a cost..a cost to others..my mind is split and my soul is torn..living a lie and hiding truths..karma haunts my every turn.. deceiving myself and others..to walk alone for my final years..walking on thorns of wilting roses..i am not the light that you see..but the darkness u must leave..for forever and a day my spirit withers away..alone i crawl to my grave..and all i can say....

Im sorry. Things are better for u this way.

Daydreams, nightdreams, spacing out.

Tells a tale of what future holds.

Days of living in auto pilot to fulfill the destiny.

Some decisions can be made.

Others made for you to be played out.

I cannot choose.

To remember things that lay ahead in time.

To brace yourself for what's to come.

Anyone crush on a coworker so hard that you don't know how to act around them anymore? We hung out a few times and each time i never message them again. Days go by and i want to, but now I'm scared to. I'm sure they think I'm playing games. I don't like games myself. The feelings are strong and weird because i haven't felt this in a long time.

Advice?

(Communication mixed with anxiety can cause disaster)