Depressing question
I’m drunk while writing this but will delete this later, but I just need to vent.
My life is so fucked up (always was) but even more right now. I’ve always wanted to join the military since I was 11 (21 now) - but have been living with Type 1 diabetes for 10 years and that is the only thing disqualifying you to join the forces (my brother tried the army 5 years back and was rejected from diabetes even after breaking physical records from the force test before being accepted for basic training)
I’ve always wanted to join mainly to find the people I fit in with, and to get away from my abusive family and life where I find I can only fit in with people who serve (guess my humour is fucked up feom what I’ve grew up going through… and I find people in the military don’t judge me for my looks with thinking I’m “too pretty to be smart - and - growing up in a physically abusive household”
I’m just depressed because to sum up with what I’m going through
I’ve: currently in wellness court because I threw a pillow at my first ex boyfriend when I broke up with him, because I thought he was going to kill himself when I broke up with him because for over a year I’d try breaking up with him and he’d say he would kill himself if I left - so when I did he stopped responding to me - so I went to his place to see if he was alive and threw a pillow at him to wake him up.
Currently working towards nursing school because I don’t know what to do with my life and find a small amount of passion in that because I can’t joint the military.
Live with my physically and psychologically abusive family and can’t move out because in the province I live in, a one bedroom house is $2500 a month so I have to stay at home while in school… any abuse from the military would be better then my family.
Can’t go on assistant income to move out because I wouldn’t be able to be in school to be a nurse at the same time.
Healing from a Situationship with a psychologically abusive mf in the airforce who I really loved, loved bombed me and fucked me up after my first relationship for three months then made me contract his MOTHER to get my shit back from his apartment when he blocked me after I asked for my things back after meeting my current boyfriend (me and airforce guy took a no contact break for 4 months then I found out he was sleeping with other women so I started dating again during no contact with him)
Can’t keep a job because people in my province won’t hire students who can’t work 50+ hours a week and willingly be assaulted and the only good job I had I got laid off because it’s summer.
I’m jsut fucked. My boyfriend now loves me, wants a genuine future with me (so do I) he’s in the navy and everyone I met through him just adores me and I feel like o fit in so well. And they make jokes saying “damn the military really missed out on this one” and deep down it makes me sad because I genuinely just want to join and escape life, even with knowing the consequences… I don’t care about the consequences. My mind still hopes for something to let me join.
My boyfriend wants to move in together in April. After his 6 month sail and his lease at his apartment with his uncle ends (uncle that is mentally declining)
So right now he’s basically living with me and my mentally a piece of family and physically abusive and it makes me angry and upset and sometimes in take it out on him (just being cranky) he understands and works with me (while I work with him) and tells me he’s not going anywhere but still I just feel like I’m so fucked and he’s going to leave. Or something I don’t know. I just want advice from people o know I get along with. I don’t know. I feel so burnt out. Trying to work my way to nursing school while feeling this and ITS HARD.
I’m currently seeing a therapist. Been since I was in 6th grade, 21 now. But it’s still hard…
Is there any hope for me? I’m getting tired of “waiting things out”
For the people who read this whole thing. I appreciate it so much then maybe you’ll understand. It’s really hard right now for me, so any kind words help…
TL;DR is there any chance of type 1 diabetics being able to join the military in the near future?
Edit; I have type one diabetes - it is an autoimmune disease - I am not fat, I am fit. I cannot get rid of it no matter what I do. I go to the gym daily and eat healthy, I don’t have type 2 diabetes. https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/type-1-diabetes-mellitus-a-to-z