u/chanchandesu

My (ex) boyfriend (23M) is clearly suffering from porn addiction at the point where he sexualizes every woman he sees and it has ruined my trust for him and even my self-esteem. Recently I discovered he has made an AI generated porn photo of a friend of mine by using one of her Instagram photos. This was extremely disgusting and hurtfuland even criminal.

Now I want to know if there is any way he can recover from this ? And why has he gotten to this point ?

My (ex) boyfriend (23M) is clearly suffering from porn addiction at the point where he sexualizes every woman he sees and it has ruined my trust for him and even my self-esteem. Recently I discovered he has made an AI generated porn photo of a friend of mine by using one of her Instagram photos. This was extremely disgusting and hurtfuland even criminal.

Now I want to know if there is any way he can recover from this ? And why has he gotten to this point ?

My boyfriend (23M) and I (23F) have been together for 1.5 years, but we were very close friends for 2 years before dating.

A few days ago, I found out that around two weeks ago he used a picture a girl we know had posted on her Instagram story to generate pornographic AI images of her. I honestly felt sick when I found out.

What hurts even more is that this happened after months of him repeatedly promising me he had stopped obsessively looking at sexual content online. We had already had many conversations in the past because I felt uncomfortable with the way he consumed content on social media (constantly staring at women’s bodies, sexualized accounts, etc). Every time I doubted him or felt insecure, he would swear to me that I was wrong, that he had changed, that he wasn’t doing those things anymore.

He even swore on his mother’s life, and sometimes on mine.

Meanwhile, he kept lying to my face.

There were so many moments where I felt crazy for doubting him because he would get angry, defensive, exhausted by my lack of trust. I apologized so many times for being “paranoid.” I genuinely started feeling ashamed of myself, ugly, insecure, and guilty for not trusting him enough.

And now I find out that while I was crying, doubting myself and trying to trust him again, he was generating fake nudes of a real girl we know for his own sexual gratification. He also watches porn btw.

What disgusts me the most is not even only the sexual aspect. It’s the complete lack of empathy and respect. The fact that this is a real woman who never consented to this. The fact that he could come see me the next day, act loving, touch me, sleep next to me, while hiding this from me.

He apologized and said he feels ashamed and regrets it. He says he was mentally unwell and that he’s trying to understand why he did this. But honestly, his apology still feels very centered around HIS shame and HIS feelings, not around the impact this had on me or the girl involved.

Part of me still loves him because before this, he was genuinely my best friend. But another part of me feels deeply disturbed and like I don’t even recognize him anymore.

I don’t know if this is something people can genuinely change from. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or underreacting. I don’t know if trust can realistically come back after this level of lying and manipulation.

Would you leave? Would you try therapy? Is this salvageable or am I setting myself up for more pain?

TL;DR: My boyfriend of 1.5 years (after 2 years of friendship) generated AI porn of a girl we know from her Instagram story after months of lying to me about stopping sexualized online behavior. I feel disgusted, manipulated and unable to trust him anymore, but he was also my best friend and I don’t know whether to leave or try to repair things.

My boyfriend (23M) and I (23F) have been together for 1.5 years, but we were very close friends for 2 years before dating.

A few days ago, I found out that around two weeks ago he used a picture a girl we know had posted on her Instagram story to generate pornographic AI images of her. I honestly felt sick when I found out.

What hurts even more is that this happened after months of him repeatedly promising me he had stopped obsessively looking at sexual content online. We had already had many conversations in the past because I felt uncomfortable with the way he consumed content on social media (constantly staring at women’s bodies, sexualized accounts, etc). Every time I doubted him or felt insecure, he would swear to me that I was wrong, that he had changed, that he wasn’t doing those things anymore.

He even swore on his mother’s life, and sometimes on mine.

Meanwhile, he kept lying to my face.

There were so many moments where I felt crazy for doubting him because he would get angry, defensive, exhausted by my lack of trust. I apologized so many times for being “paranoid.” I genuinely started feeling ashamed of myself, ugly, insecure, and guilty for not trusting him enough.

And now I find out that while I was crying, doubting myself and trying to trust him again, he was generating fake nudes of a real girl we know for his own sexual gratification.

What disgusts me the most is not even only the sexual aspect. It’s the complete lack of empathy and respect. The fact that this is a real woman who never consented to this. The fact that he could come see me the next day, act loving, touch me, sleep next to me, while hiding this from me.

He apologized and said he feels ashamed and regrets it. He says he was mentally unwell and that he’s trying to understand why he did this. But honestly, his apology still feels very centered around HIS shame and HIS feelings, not around the impact this had on me or the girl involved.

Part of me still loves him because before this, he was genuinely my best friend. But another part of me feels deeply disturbed and like I don’t even recognize him anymore.

I don’t know if this is something people can genuinely change from. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or underreacting. I don’t know if trust can realistically come back after this level of lying and manipulation.

Would you leave? Would you try therapy? Is this salvageable or am I setting myself up for more pain?

TL;DR: My boyfriend of 1.5 years (after 2 years of friendship) generated AI porn of a girl we know from her Instagram story after months of lying to me about stopping sexualized online behavior. I feel disgusted, manipulated and unable to trust him anymore, but he was also my best friend and I don’t know whether to leave or try to repair things.