u/cherriecola05

Has anyone had experience with fat activist, Virgie Tovar? She just did something extremely rude and unprofessional to me. I had signed up for her “GLP-1 Burnout Support Group”, and attended one of her sessions.

As described, it states: “This is a small support group for people navigating GLP-1 fatigue or burnout. This group is most suitable for people who are already anti-diet, those who are very interested in becoming anti-diet & those who don't want to take GLP-1s, but still feel overwhelmed or burnt out by the uptick in weight stigma/food anxiety caused by the ubiquity of GLP-1 promotion. It's a space where GLP-1s will be treated as an extension of diet culture & a space where the demonstrated history of harm & failure caused by intentional weight-loss will be prioritized.

While I can see the value in GLP-1’s for actual medical conditions, I don’t love the diet culture, fatphobia and eating disorders that GLP-1’s contribute to when used exclusively for weight loss/vanity, and I’ve been slipping back into my own disordered patterns since seeing many people I know on them, and ads for them everywhere.

In the meeting, she brought up a term, “permission deprivation” that basically alluded to the fact that fat people aren’t allowed to participate in many facets of our society, unless their body fits the “ideal body type” deemed by diet culture and fatphobia. Agreeing with this, I said that fitness spaces (big-box gyms like Planet Fitness, and especially boutique fitness studios) are notorious for this, as is travel, while making it clear that I reside in a straight-sized body, as to not sound tone-deaf and show my empathy for the many women in the session who were plus-sized, talking about their own struggles. I brought up how at classes like Barry’s and pilates, women wear scantily-clad and body-conscious workout sets that can be intimating for those who are not a Size 2. I’m not sure if any of this offended Virgie, or pissed her off.

Relating to GLP-1’s, I mentioned how I have a love-hate relationship with exercise and meal prep, and how it’s triggering to me to see those on GLP-1’s take “the easy way out”, while I force myself to do those things. I’m not sure if she got angry that I brought up weight loss, but I only referred to that to get back to the overarching issue of the corrupt nature of diet culture that GLP-1’s exacerbate.

However, I noticed mid-way after half of the session was over, a little after I had spoken, Google Meet kicked me out, and said that I was removed from the meeting. I had requested several times to be let back in, and the requests were never answered. After 45 minutes of attempting to be let back in, see a couple of emails in my inbox. One where Virgie writes to me, saying:  “I think you may have misunderstood the purpose of the group. I'm issuing a refund right now.” Then, a second email confirming the refund of $69.00.

Honestly, after being treated so harshly, I’m really grateful and relieved that I didn’t even have to ask for a refund. As someone who is unemployed and about to register for SNAP benefits, I really needed this money, but I can’t get my time back after clearing my schedule for all of that. 

I’m still taken aback by how offensive and unprofessional her behavior was. She could have at least waited until the current session was over, then politely email me afterwards that either I “may have misunderstood the purpose of the group” or that I “wasn’t a fit for the group,” and then decline to invite me back for future sessions, while refunding me.

This is from a recent Daily Mail article. I believe toddlers eat double that daily calorie intake. Messer definitely eats way more than she does.

For over six months, I've been taking Barry's classes, and I noticed a cute guy who always takes class on the same day and time as me. I signaled availability over time in our classes by first making eye contact with him, then I'd smile. He'd always reciprocate whenever we'd cross paths. Eventually over time, things got warmer, and we started exchanging verbal "hi"'s to each other.

After a couple months, he stayed back after class one evening to make conversation with me, using the line, "Wow, that class was hard, wasn't it?" Our conversation flowed naturally, and this led into talking about his rescue dog, and how I'd like to get one, one day as well.

A month later, I attended a singles dating mixer, and when I entered, I first scanned the room to see who was there. Lo and behold, there he was! As he was the tallest guy in the room, and we locked eyes immediately from across the crowded venue for what felt like an eternity, and it felt electric. 

As the evening progressed, he approached me, and introduced himself. So now we're on a first-name basis. He brought up Barry's, and we chatted for a while, until he excused himself to go talk to a friend. As the night was winding down, he approached me again before leaving! This time, we chatted about his rescue dog, and he mentioned that he had to go home, because he was feeling pain from a recent surgery that he had.

He never once asked for my number or contact information that evening. The following week after class, I went up to him and we chatted once again, and he got flirty and even playfully tapped my shoulder! Usually I have to admit, I am kind of awkward when it comes to flirting.

As the weeks have gone on, everytime we see each other in class, he greets me really friendly by name, and he smiles so big to where there's crinkles by his eyes. 

It's been more than a couple months since these interactions, and besides the enthusiastic greetings, he hasn't initiated anything. If I come up to him after class to talk, we make small talk for quite a while as we leave class together. Conversation flows effortlessly, and he doesn't appear like he doesn't wanna talk. He's even opened up about his life and said some vulnerable things to me in the short five minutes after class that we chat for.

It's been a few months since the last time that he's approached me or flirted, and I'm confused as to why he still hasn't initiated seeing each other outside of class. His Instagram is public, and using my finsta, I saw that he was definitely single around Valentine's Day, and he recently posted a shirtless thirst trap to his IG story, so I suspect that he is still single. According to all of the signals that I know that a guy uses to get a girl's attention at the gym, he's followed everything to a tee, except for taking things to the next level and asking me out. 

This isn't just him being friendly, is it?

I'm not sure what more I can do to signal availability, and I'm terrible at purposely trying to flirt. Any advice on next steps, or what he's thinking?