r/MaintenancePhase

Hey so.. let’s go
i started noticing that my weight seems to play a much bigger role in my dating life than I ever realized, and honestly, it’s starting to mess with my head.
I’ve already lost around 20-ish pounds, possibly a little more. I’m currently around 170 lbs at 5’4”. I know I’m not skinny, but I also know I’m not anywhere near the size that I feel like people are making me out to be.

My ex-boyfriend always told me he was really attracted to me physically. He knew that I wanted to lose weight, and he was supportive of that because he prefers women who are skinnier. We broke up a few months ago, but we got along extremely well in basically every other aspect of the relationship. Our personalities, interests, lifestyle, everything just worked.

Now I’m talking to another guy that I genuinely really like. We’ve gotten intimate already, and even though he lives a little ways away, things have been going really well. We’ve talked about what we both need in a relationship, and somehow the same thing came up again.
He basically told me that the only thing that really matters to him is that he knows I want to lose weight.
And I don’t even know how to explain how much that got into my head.

Because now I’m starting to genuinely feel like I’m massively obese, even though logically I know I’m not. I’m 170 lbs at 5’4”. I want to lose weight for myself, and I’m already working toward that, but hearing from two different men that my weight is something they care about has made me hyperaware of my body.
It’s almost like I’m starting to see myself as being 300 lbs when I obviously am not.
What really bothers me is that both situations are otherwise so compatible. With my ex, we got along amazingly and everything matched except for this issue. And now with the guy I’m talking to, it feels like the same thing: our personalities match, our chemistry is great, our needs seem compatible, everything feels almost perfect… except for my weight.
I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, if I’m internalizing their preferences too much, or if this is actually something I should be concerned about.
Has anyone else experienced something similar where a partner’s comments about your weight made you feel significantly worse about your body than you did before?

I would love for them to do an episode on insulin resistance, which I strongly feel are the buzz words du jour. I see influencers saying 94 percent of people are “insulin compromised?” What the hell is this?

I have a hip injury that will eventually require surgery. My doctor wants me to be mindful about food intake- he's very good, very positive doctor who understands the nuances of weight gain. Long story short, I went through a period of severe illness, gained a bunch of weight, and am now facing something like this surgery in my near to distant future.

I recently discovered one of the more filling snacks for me is a thin slice of pound cake from a local bakery paired with a big helping of strawberries. It leaves me feeling full and good, the fiber and water in the strawberries is great. I try to eat intuitively.

I am bringing my MIL into the city for a medical appointment tomorrow and mentioned wanted to stop at the bakery to get more pound cake. She immediately says, "aren't you supposed to be watching what you eat? For your surgery?" (She has a LONG history of doing stuff like this but my god....we're back).

I looked at my husband (praying at this point he was going to say something because he knows I think her constant comments on what I eat is hurtful) and said "I'm not going to answer that". He makes a joke, pushing what she said on himself. She digs in and goes, "no, I'm talking about (me)".

I'm afraid to tell her to knock it off because she gets extremely agitated at the drop of the hat. Husband isn't very close with her and didn't grow up with her. She needed help and we moved her to be closer to us. I'm happy to help. I don't dislike her. And I know what people think about me, a fat person, daring to eat food. But for the love of god, I just want to enjoy those fucking strawberries and pound cake in peace.

Just screaming into the void. I'm bad at setting boundaries with people like her, so I'll probably just suffer in silence until I blow up on her one day. But how anyone thinks the level of commenting on my weight that she does is okay is beyond me.

I have my content preferences set not to show weight loss ads, but I regularly get ChatGPT ads about how it can help me with my diet. Which is oversold in and of itself. My wife’s a registered dietitian, and she’s had multiple patients come to her because they landed in the hospital by following ChatGPT diet advice.

I wish I could turn off AI ads in general, but at least make the AI ads fit my content preferences.

Edit: this may have been unclear, but I’m referring to Reddit and other platforms advertising ChatGPT to me by talking about how it can help with weight loss. I don’t use ChatGPT, I’m not getting these ads through them.

I'm a small fat person pregnant for the first time, and I am really unsure how to best navigate the very specific recommendations around pregnancy weight gain.

For example, I typically do not monitor my weight at all but now the doctors are for sure, and I am wondering if I should too.

Does anyone have any recs for content or people you trust that talk about this?

Hi MP fam, Kate Manne is a feminist philosopher who writes very interestingly about fatness and I have a few one-month subscriptions for her Substack I could pass along since not a lot of my IRLs would be into this sort of content and this community might appreciate the crossover. Lmk if you'd like one!

I’m listening to this episode and they got to the third nominee, who went to Ross University School of Medicine in Barbados. Michael asked if it was another for-profit school and Aubrey said she didn’t look into it because they wouldn’t do that again.

Reader.

They did.

Ross University School of Medicine in Barbados. Owned by Covista Inc per Wikipedia. I clicked the link for Covista Inc. Formerly DeVry ✨

Grifts all the way down!

Edit: I don’t want to dunk on for-profit schools as they can have their place, I just don’t like how they feel very predatory and kinda scammy

Welcome to the weekly wins/victories Sunday thread!

Thanks to u/martysgroovylady, we've decided to make a weekly thread specifically so that folks can share and discuss their wins and victories that they've had regarding fatphobia this past week. Did your doctor listen to you? Did you get someone new to listen to the podcast? Were you able to have a good conversation with a friend or acquaintance about fatphobia? Did you make some good progress in therapy? Feel free to share your feel-good stories to mark a strong start to the new week :).

Feel free to also share news you've found on the internet that feels like a victory against fatphobia! Maybe your state just made discrimination against fat people illegal, or there's a fat activist activity going on in your area (e.g. Fat Beach Day in NY).

Please remember: Do not vote or comment in cross-posted linked threads, keep the discussion here. Thanks all! Have a wonderful week.

Welcome to the weekly "Michael, fuck all the way off!" Friday thread!

We've decided to make a weekly thread specifically so that folks can share and discuss fatphobia and/or rage-inducing comments seen in other subreddits. Feel free to use this thread to cross-post and vent about/discuss the things you've seen online this week that ruffled your feathers. We label this weekly thread as NSFW so that folks who don't want to see rage-bait, fatphobic content can pass on by.

Please remember: Do not vote or comment in cross-posted linked threads, keep the discussion here. Thanks all! Have a wonderful weekend.