u/Educational_Ask_972

Hey so.. let’s go
i started noticing that my weight seems to play a much bigger role in my dating life than I ever realized, and honestly, it’s starting to mess with my head.
I’ve already lost around 20-ish pounds, possibly a little more. I’m currently around 170 lbs at 5’4”. I know I’m not skinny, but I also know I’m not anywhere near the size that I feel like people are making me out to be.

My ex-boyfriend always told me he was really attracted to me physically. He knew that I wanted to lose weight, and he was supportive of that because he prefers women who are skinnier. We broke up a few months ago, but we got along extremely well in basically every other aspect of the relationship. Our personalities, interests, lifestyle, everything just worked.

Now I’m talking to another guy that I genuinely really like. We’ve gotten intimate already, and even though he lives a little ways away, things have been going really well. We’ve talked about what we both need in a relationship, and somehow the same thing came up again.
He basically told me that the only thing that really matters to him is that he knows I want to lose weight.
And I don’t even know how to explain how much that got into my head.

Because now I’m starting to genuinely feel like I’m massively obese, even though logically I know I’m not. I’m 170 lbs at 5’4”. I want to lose weight for myself, and I’m already working toward that, but hearing from two different men that my weight is something they care about has made me hyperaware of my body.
It’s almost like I’m starting to see myself as being 300 lbs when I obviously am not.
What really bothers me is that both situations are otherwise so compatible. With my ex, we got along amazingly and everything matched except for this issue. And now with the guy I’m talking to, it feels like the same thing: our personalities match, our chemistry is great, our needs seem compatible, everything feels almost perfect… except for my weight.
I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, if I’m internalizing their preferences too much, or if this is actually something I should be concerned about.
Has anyone else experienced something similar where a partner’s comments about your weight made you feel significantly worse about your body than you did before?

This is mainly a rant and seeking advice over what i’ve been noticing the last few months about my male friends.
We are all in our early to mid 20s (21-25) and i’ve noticed them saying that dating a 16 year old in their age group is totally normal and not pdf at all..
i personally disagree a lot and we got into a big argument.

The biggest argument started when they brought a 16 year old to a city trip the other day, and i kept making hints about minors and trying to make them uncomfortable on purpose.
cus that teenager was extremely flirty with the 25 year old and no one seemed to think it’s weird and even worse, they egged them on calling them cute etc.

am i overreacting for finding this extremly weird???

update : i did not befriend them knowing they’re predators and i do wanna cut ties, i just feel like they’re making me feel like i’m crazy for believing this.
plus my ex boyfriend is in the same friend group and i actually did leave him cus in his past when he was 21 he dated a 16 year old and i did NOT wanna be involved with a man like this..

this is mainly a rant and me finally understanding WHY people say that BO has a horrible fandom.
i kept out of the fandom for most of it, considering the fact i didn’t even know what any of the BO members even looked like until i saw them live in Milan.

Long Story short, i go to this bar yesterday and see a girl with merchandise, so i go talk to her and we yap about the concerts together when she suddenly starts talking about how bad she’d f*ck Noah and how hot he is and how often she touches herself to his pictures.
And i’m just sat there thinking „what the fuuuuuuck“, smiling awkwardly and nodding and laughing it off, cause i did not know how to react to this.

I pretty much finished my drink and dipped asap after this, cause that’s super hella weird.

Is this normal in this fandom? cus wth that’s so para social and ridiculous and mainly utterly disgusting.

Genuinely just need to rant cause i’m super stressed about this.
I’m (F22) living with two roommates (F25) and (M25) and it’s having me on the edge lately. We are based in Cali and the heat here is currently horrible, given we don’t have a damn AC either.
The actual issue comes with my roommates dropping their food and cooking fluids or whatever on the floor and not in the trash cans and now expect me to clean that up, when i’m barley home. For instance my roommates are both in Uni and work 2/7 days a week and are home the other days. I’m a fulltime CNA and work up to 7 days a week of 8H/day.
I’m barley home and barley manage to cool or anything.
The kitchen floor is COVERED in dirt, dried fluids and leftover food and they expect me to be on kitchen duty and clean it.
I confronted them a few days ago about this, that i will simply not pick up anyone’s food that is not in the trash and that i cleaned the sink and stove several times this week and that i’m aware of my only dish in the sink at the moment.
Now they’re ganging up against me.
Guilt trapping me into cleaning up after them when i’m super exhausted of work.
I come home around 11pm every day and leave around 1pm to go to work.
this is mainly a rant about how exhausted i am about this, because i’m being portrayed as a villain when i’m just working and trying to have a peaceful agreement.
I’m exhausted.

I just need to get this off my chest and maybe even get some tips how to handle all of this, since i am not good at these kind of conversations.
So i (F23) live with two roommates (M26) and (F24). and they are honestly the most unclean people i've ever met. and when i say unclean, i mean literally food leftovers all over the kitchen floor, dried fluids of food on the kitchen floor, stains in the sink of god knows what, the bathroom has hair in the bottom constantly and then they expect me to clean up after them.
i've quietly done so the half past year but now i don't see a reason to anymore and suddenly they created a cleaning schedule, but i refused to clean the kitchen. i do not drop food and liquids on the floor and keep them there, so why do i need to clean them up? i barley eat in my living space anymore and usually cook at my parents house nowadays.
i can't invite people over because it's so dirty. and by all means, I'm not a clean freak either i do have a little clothes mess and a few energy's cans standing my own room.
I'm just super fed up because they target me now saying i won't do the cleaning.
i wanna move out after my finals anyway but that'll take about 3-5 months from now on. i'm just super frustrated.

Hii,
so it turns out for the past years i’ve been actively lucid dreaming in a low energy way.
I’ve always been aware it’s a dream, i would wake up, fall back asleep and continue the dream where i left oft.
I tried to check the last few days if i can „control it“ by telling myself to have a lucid dream before bed and it’s worked every single time.
Now here’s my question. : how do i start being aware? like actually controlling what’s happening in my dream? i only KNOW it’s a dream i can’t do and change what i do tho.
any tips are appreciated!!

don’t get me wrong. he’s a great person, has a warm personality and in total all together is a respectful and really put together man.

we’ve been together for 2 months now.

i just don’t like him for some reason. i don’t like the way he talks, i don’t even like the way he walks or acts and it’s all giving me the ick for NO reason.

he tries to kiss me, i back out, he tries to hold my hand i don’t want to. he tries to convince me to get intimate i scream at him.

he makes me feel bothered and annoyed all the time even tho he doesn’t do anything wrong in perticular. he says he misses me after a week apart and i can’t say the same in my head.

i’m nice to him, i wanna love him so bad but i geniunely can’t and i hate myself for that.

(i do want to break up he „postponed“ my attempt of breaking up twice now saying i shouldn’t do that before my final exams) i do not wanna waste his or my time at all, i just struggle with anxiety, bpd and adhd.