u/christmas_eve_

So my husband and I are considering getting a home equity loan and I'm trying to decide if it's worth it or not or if we should just save up and wait it out.

We need to get a new roof within the next couple of years which will be around $20k, we have some tax debt around $5k, some CC debt around $8k, my student loans that are left around $4k and would like to also do some various updates around the house whcih I imagine would cost around $10k.

Our current mortgage is around $192k and our house is valued on Zillow for $370k (I know, I know, Zillow isn't accurate).

The only part I'm really hesitant about is 1. what the potential monthly payment would be and 2. My husband does not have a good credit score as he is riddled with student loans, technically I own the home with my mother and was purchased before my husband I got married. My husband, mother and I have an Occupancy Agreement stating basically my husband and I are responsible for the mortgage and all upkeep of the property and basically my mom is on the mortgage as a co-signer is is not financially responsible, etc. I'm worried my salary won't cover the potential HELOAN and I don't believe we would be able to get it by including my husband. I don't think my mother would have an issue with co-signing and of course consenting to the loan in general.

But I'm wondering, is a home equity loan a good idea for what were looking to do? Is it worth it? Can only one of us apply and would be mother be able to co-sign with me to include her income?

TIA! 

So my husband and I are considering getting a home equity loan and I'm trying to decide if it's worth it or not or if we should just save up and wait it out.

We need to get a new roof within the next couple of years which will be around $20k, we have some tax debt around $5k, some CC debt around $8k, my student loans that are left around $4k and would like to also do some various updates around the house whcih I imagine would cost around $10k.

Our current mortgage is around $192k and our house is valued on Zillow for $370k (I know, I know, Zillow isn't accurate).

The only part I'm really hesitant about is 1. what the potential monthly payment would be and 2. My husband does not have a good credit score as he is riddled with student loans, technically I own the home with my mother and was purchased before my husband I got married. My husband, mother and I have an Occupancy Agreement stating basically my husband and I are responsible for the mortgage and all upkeep of the property and basically my mom is on the mortgage as a co-signer is is not financially responsible, etc. I'm worried my salary won't cover the potential HELOAN and I don't believe we would be able to get it by including my husband. I don't think my mother would have an issue with co-signing and of course consenting to the loan in general.

But I'm wondering, is a home equity loan a good idea for what were looking to do? Is it worth it? Can only one of us apply and would be mother be able to co-sign with me to include her income?

TIA! 

I have finally pulled the trigger told my husband I’m done. I’ve done all the steps, spoken to him to which he reluctantly agreed, done research on realtors, called a mediator, etc. but no matter how many times I stress that I’m done and no matter how many steps I’ve taken he seems to some how think every day he can do something that changes my mind and when I don’t and tell him to stop it turns into a fight and then I get guilted and told how I don’t care about our family and I don’t want to see my children full time anymore and I’m just selfish and I’m just tired of it.

We have two children together so I’m trying to keep our home as peaceful as possible until the process starts rolling, however, I feel like I’m living the same day over and over again and I have to keep having the same conversation over and over. Unfortunately I’m stuck here as my only support system with a stable environment for me and my children is in another state, only 20min away but across state lines and even though he says he’ll work with me on the separation process I don’t believe him and feel like I can’t go anywhere or he’ll use it against it.

I guess im just looking to vent or have solidarity from anyone else who went through this and how to get through it strong. We’ve had these spurts before where ive said i was leaving and he just eventually wears me down to the point where i just stay against what my gut is telling me and this time is different and i don’t know how much longer i can keep it up!!!

Help! lol I need encouraging words to not get sucked back into the bullshit and keep a calm house for my kids because I’ve already gotten so far with everything I will NOT be turning back now.

I’ve posted here before and have finally pulled the trigger and told my husband I’m done. I’ve done all the steps, spoken to him to which he reluctantly agreed, done research on realtors, called a mediator, etc. however my husband is either a narcissist or has narcissistic tendencies and no matter how many times I stress that I’m done and no matter how many steps I’ve taken he seems to some how think every day he can do something that changes my mind and when I don’t and tell him to stop it turns into a fight.

We have two children together so I’m trying to keep our home as peaceful as possible until the process starts rolling, however, I feel like I’m living the same day over and over again and I have to keep having the same conversation over and over. Unfortunately I’m stuck here as my only support system with a stable environment for me and my children is in another state, only 20min away but across state lines and even though he says he’ll work with me on the separation process I don’t believe him and feel like I can’t go anywhere or he’ll use it against it.

I guess im just looking to vent or have solidarity from anyone else who went through this and how to get through it strong. We’ve had these spurts before where ive said i was leaving and he just eventually wears me down to the point where i just stay against what my gut is telling me and this time is different and i don’t know how much longer i can keep it up!!!

Help! lol I need encouraging words to not get sucked back into the bullshit and keep a calm house for my kids because I’ve already gotten so far with everything I will NOT be turning back now.

Long story short, I’m just done with my husband at this point. We have two children, multiple attempts at therapy and the emotional abuse is just too much and I’m over it. But I’m just so overwhelmed and confused right now and don’t know what the first step is. We own our home together but besides that don’t really have many joint assets, we have agreed in the past that if it came to this we would split everything 50-50 bc we both work (granted, take what he says with a grain of salt, ya know).

I’m not looking for alimony I’m not looking child support I just want to sell our house split the profits and go our separate ways, but genuinely what’s the first step ? Idk what to do, do I call a lawyer? Do I call a realtor? I’d love some insight as to how to get things started even if this is a dumb question because I feel like it’s obvious. But this position has gotten me in the past and I’ve ended up staying in something that’s unhealthy for me and my kids because I’m too overwhelmed with what happens next. It’s like I’m frozen and I need someone to unfreeze me.

So guys, help me out, what do I do next ?