u/chronicallyjames

It’s been months since my last calorie deficit and I just can’t stop eating. I’m constantly stuffing myself with everything I can find and large meals and no matter how much I hate what I’m doing and how loud the voice in my head is screaming at me to stop I just can’t. Im on track to being the heaviest I’ve ever been and I don’t know what to do. I’m eating everything away instead of dealing with it but when I stop binging I end up restricting and being terrified to eat anything that is nice so I don’t trigger a binge. I’m so exhausted with the constant loosing and gaining of the same 20kg my body isn’t coping well.

If weight isn’t something you want to discuss or read please don’t continue with reading this post :) my experience won’t happen to everyone we all react differently to meds. I will continue to take it as it’s saved my life and keeps me out of the psych ward.

Recently had a big increase of quetiapine as I started having rapid mood swings again and even though I’ve stabilised, I’ve gained a load of weight again. I am able to diet and loose 10-20kg at a time but I always gain back and some. Today I went to the doctors to ask for some sort of support. To get on GLP1, I would have to have a BMI of 40 with a health issue listed on the referral form or a BMI of 50. I did sort of have a health issue listed but because I haven’t had a flare up in a while, it didn’t count. My BMI is just under 40 so I can’t qualify anyway but the extra weight is really affecting me. Not to mention my triglyceride levels are very high. I’m actively trying to make changes to my lifestyle but I’m finding it harder than ever to stay on track due to the horrible hunger from quetiapine.

Any advice on how I can stop the hunger or find the right support so I can get my health in order?

I have been under a mental health team since I was 12 for various mental health concerns and autism. The only thing I’ve never disclosed is my struggles surrounding food. I’m on the bigger side and always have been. Since age 8 or 9 I’ve struggled with binge/purge/restricting cycles where I loose dramatic amounts of weight in a short amount of time. I want to talk to someone as I’m still struggling with this now. The only issue is I’m scared of not being taken seriously due to being overweight. Is it worth telling them? Being invalidated will only make everything worse.

Since 2018 I have been fluctuating between 94kg and 117kg and I just can’t seem to get it right! Every 6 months or so I get into a mindset where I loose 10-20kg then gain it all back and start again and it’s so tiring. How do I maintain and stop going back into old habits? After I see the progress I instantly start slipping backwards and no matter what I do I just end up binging. I never deny myself food or what I want to eat while dieting and I stick to a higher deficit to keep it as non restrictive as possible. What am I doing wrong?