u/cocomrkitty

Basically there's no payment button.

Trued from computer, phone, reinstalled the app... Nothing...no button to pay

So hi

to people who are clearing prelims this year. Congratulations! Work hard on your mains and have a better story to tell next year. Don't waste your time reading this post.

To people who are not (like me) such is life ain't it?

I still feel 24 may was just yesterday. Me getting out of the exam hall dazed ... I knew i wasn't going to make it ... Even thought what's the point of giving csat, let's just go home. But stayed.

The next day i checked the answer key to finally cement my failure lol .. it was worse than i expected.

Then there are people on internet who are saying they got 90+ without coaching just calm mind and stuff and honestly, congrats to them. But it made me think what if I'm just not made for this? What if UPSC is looking for those best few who can be identified only through the type of paper they made this time. Or upsc wants something else like some are speculating they want aspirants to have real skills, as if the syllabus and system is set up by the aspirants. It's them who set up the syllabus, if they want a change, change the syllabus?

For the past few days, I have been feeling dazed. Can't study for anything else ...feels like I'll fail in those too so what's the point. For my family, I'm grateful how supporting they are and honestly I don't deserve it, just my father thinks i should have read more news. Oh well a year of my life partially wasted. Why partially? Cause the preparation did add some value (i think or maybe I'm being awfully optimistic)

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Then there's the cji who'll call unemployed youth cockroach but won't approve of active euthanasia

{edit: someone corrected me saying cji meant for law professionals using fake degrees and stuff. so sorry, but a general disdain is there}

Life if supposed to be a journey but i never felt that i like it quite. If the journey stops abruptly I'll have no regrets. If it continues, I'll feel the same, burdened.

After 2026 prelims, what I learned is .. it's an exam ...the question can be made however they like and i won't have a say in it, I'm just sad i was delusional enough to think I'll write mains lol. Maybe I'll never write mains and that's what fate intended.

So to the ones with whom my words resonated... What are you doing?

Mains prep?

Something else?

Suggest something cause therapy is expensive and useless (from experience)

Ps: mods if my post is irrelevant, remove it but if possible don't ban me lol.

TLDR: (cause the bot told me to.)---2026 prelims made me doubt my abilities with people bragging on internet.

Any other book will do too ...