u/conwaythemachine

Hello, this is a little long read but please take the time I need help

I’ve been dealing with general anxiety, intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, OCD, PTSD, and agoraphobia my whole life but the last few months things have really taken a nosedive. I’ve experienced a few delusional thoughts and moments of derealization in the past where it felt like people could read my mind. Those were scary and I’d question why I was feeling that way but they went away and never lasted long

One of my OCD themes was Schizo OCD, the fear of losing my mind. I question what if inanimate objects could talk to me, what if, what if I’m hearing voices, what if… it’s brutal. Last month it was the worst it probably has ever been to the point that I was questioning if I was in psychosis. I should’ve been on an SSRI to help with the OCD but I was too scared to so my psych put me on Latuda to help with obsessive intrusive thoughts months ago. It helped to dampen the thoughts but I felt like I needed something stronger so we switched to Abilify. I stopped taking the Abilify after a month or so because I was experiencing Tinnitus and wasn’t sure if it was due to any meds I was on

A month ago I went through some of the highest anxiety and stress I’ve ever went though, it wasn’t until then that I started to experience obsessive intrusive thoughts about how everything could relate back to me, for example if I could look at a ketchup bottle on my table and I would think this only exists because of me. I could read an event that happened on social media and think that it only happened because of me. My brain was relating everything I could see back to me it was terrifying. My psychiatrist told me these are thoughts of reference. Now the thing is I knew these thoughts weren’t true deep down but they felt real. My psych put me back on Latuda and I tried it for 3 days until I felt like I was so desperate I wanted to go to a Psych Hospital I reached for the Abilify which I knew helped in the past and it wiped out the intrusive delusional thoughts in a few days. I stopped taking the Abilify because it ended up making me feel so on edge and crazy I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore. My psych believes it could be two things at play, OCD and psychotic thoughts happening together

After the thoughts stopped I talked to my psych and we agreed maybe I didn’t give Latuda long enough time to work so I started it again. I felt better for about a week and the delusional obsessive intrusive thoughts started happening again. It was devastating because I thought I’ve gotten over them and that since I’m on Latuda they wouldn’t happen again. It’s the same kinda thoughts of reference. There’s also intrusive thoughts that I’m god and everything related back to me because I’m god. Now I’m experiencing these thoughts and they feel real but they’re distressing because I know they’re ridiculous and not real. I feel so hopeless and helpless.

My psych just prescribed me 0.5mg of Risperidone to take as needed for the thoughts while I’m still on Latuda. I don’t know what to do. I want to take Abilify because it’s what’s worked in the past but it made me feel so on edge. I guess I have to give the Risperidone a few days to see if it works but I’m exhausted. I’d go to a Psych Hospital but my Agoraphobia is so bad I can’t get on the freeway or be away from home. Someone please give me some insight.

I deal with OCD, GAD, and delusional thoughts so I’ve been on Latuda for about 9-10 days now. It was seemingly helping for a week but the delusional thoughts started to come back a few days ago. I asked if we should up the dosage of the Latuda from 40mg to something higher and she said it would be too soon but prescribed me Risperidone to take as needed?

From what I know Risperidone is another antipsychotic why would she prescribe it to take as needed with Latuda and not one or the other? I assume she knows best so I’m just going to take it with the Latuda like she wants but I’m confused

All my life I’ve suffered from general anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia, intrusive thoughts, OCD, PTSD, agoraphobia. I didn’t know what OCD was until a few years ago but once I found out a lot made sense. I just started seeking help about a year and a half ago

Currently not in therapy but was in talk therapy for over a year and it didn’t help much. I figured I need to see an OCD specialist but that’s hard with my insurance

My main OCD type is Schizo OCD, the fear of losing my mind, the fear of hearing voices, constantly checking my sanity and questioning my sanity obsessively thinking about it all the time

I’ve been scared to start an SSRI even though it can help the OCD ironically enough because I’m afraid of serotonin syndrome and I’ve heard of people going into psychosis which terrified me too much to start

However I was on Latuda for OCD and racing thoughts, got off Latuda because I felt like I needed something stronger and that became Abilify until I felt Abilify was too activating and got off

The past few months general anxiety has been the worst it’s ever been, but it really picked up over the last 3 weeks. I was convinced I was losing my mind but I just thought it was because of my OCD, severe sleep deprivation due to anxiety, and not being on any meds

I was supposed to start taking Lexapro last week but put off doing it. This past weekend I started to experience what felt like Derealization a little bit, that turned into me feeling like everything feels scripted (I’ve felt this in the past), and that led to obsessive intrusive delusional thoughts that sound so crazy they make no sense. Thoughts like everything in the world is happening because of me like I’m the reason for xyz happening. It’s making me feel like I’ve legit lost my mind. I’m aware these thoughts are delusional and there’s pushback to them but they feel so real and my mind is applying this thought process to everything I can see. I’ve felt this similar to when I had a bad cycle of harm OCD but there is no type of OCD for the kind of thoughts I’m experiencing that I’m aware of

I didn’t know what to do and I can’t meet with my Psychiatrist until the 21st so I reached for the Latuda 40mg I still had to try to help stop these delusional thoughts. I don’t know if I’m in psychosis and as badly as I want to go to a psych hospital I can’t because of my agoraphobia, driving anxiety, and cost

Someone please help, thank you so much