u/cs21-10

I am 23 and working in a government bank. A year ago, all I wanted was to get a stable job. I was tired of being unemployed and preparing for exams. Now I have the job, I'm earning decent money, but honestly, I don't know if I'm happy.

I got posted to a small city around 300 km away from home and I live alone. My life is basically wake up, office, gym, cook food, scroll on my phone, sleep, repeat. I haven't even gone home in more than a month because it takes me 7-8 hours to travel and there are no direct buses.

The thing is, I used to live in a bigger city before this, and life was completely different. I had friends, plans, social life, dating, random outings. Here, I feel like I'm just passing time. It's not like I'm not trying to socialize, but people don't really seem that interested. Most of the time, if I don't call someone, nobody calls me.

Dating has been weird too. Dating apps don't work here at all. Recently, I met a girl and went out with her. She was very honest and told me that she was previously married, is now separated, and is looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage. I respect her honesty, and I can also tell she's been lonely for a long time. But I've only known her for like 10 days, and I'm just 23. I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment.

The strange part is, I don't think I'm depressed. I still go to work, go to the gym, cook my own meals, and even did a solo trip to the mountains nearby. But I've lost interest in almost everything I used to enjoy. I used to watch movies, anime, read stuff, but now I can't even focus on anything for long.

Sometimes I feel stupid for feeling this way because objectively my life is fine. I have a stable job, I'm healthy, and I'm earning well. But honestly, it feels like I spent years trying to build a career and somehow forgot to build a life.

Has anyone else gone through something similar in their early 20s? Does it get better?

TL;DR: 23M with a government job, living alone in a small city far from home. I have financial stability but almost no social life, dating apps don't work here, and I'm struggling with loneliness and loss of interest in things I used to enjoy. Recently met someone looking for marriage while I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Just wondering if this is normal adulthood or if I'm genuinely unhappy.

Recently moved from Chandigarh to Hoshiarpur and started checking out gyms.

Visited Evolution Club — decent pricing, but the workout area felt a bit small and crowded.

Then went to Gold's Gym. Honestly, the experience was weird. The staff didn't seem interested, and when I asked about memberships, I was just told to look at the rate chart. Also found the pricing quite high (₹3k/month, ₹7k/3 months), especially compared to what I used to pay in Chandigarh.

Am I missing something, or is this normal here?

Any good gym recommendations in Hoshiarpur? Currently considering Evolution Club.

MBA is overhyped online. Outside top colleges, a lot of tier-2 grads still end up with packages similar to CSA level roles, but with ₹20L+ loans on top. Banking may grow slower but at least it’s stable and debt free. Home state perk as well plus you won't be laid off on a random day...keep preparing guys!!

Hey everyone,

I (23M) work at a PSU Bank as a banker. Life is pretty stable, and this is my first salary, so I’ve tried to build a simple long-term investment plan after doing some research.

I’m keeping things fairly simple and focused on long-term growth + liquidity for emergencies.

Would really appreciate honest feedback on whether this allocation makes sense or if I should tweak anything.

Thanks in advance!

About a year ago, I started dating for the first time in my life. Before that, I barely had any female interaction because I was busy with studies and banking exam prep. Fast forward to now — I got the government bank job I wanted, but my dating life has genuinely been one of the weirdest experiences ever.

So here’s the short version of my past one year:

Girl #1 — University senior

My first ever “dating” experience. We used to sit in the library, talk at night, awkward vibes from both sides because neither of us really knew what we were doing. Never became romantic. It was basically just my first female interaction.

Girl #2 — Reddit girl

Met her through Reddit. Extremely introverted. I used to carry conversations alone while she silently accepted chocolates like an NPC. Things faded. Months later I saw her dating someone else and genuinely got shocked that she even talked to men voluntarily.

Girl #3 — College mutual

Friends hyped me up saying “bro this one is into you.” Meanwhile another girl I used to go on walks with got jealous, both girls started fighting, hostel drama started, abuses were exchanged, and somehow I lost both connections without even dating either of them properly.

Girl #4 — Exam center girl

Met during banking exams. Same district, instant vibe, things moved fast. She got emotionally attached, then cried after we got close saying “this feels wrong,” disappeared, came back months later emotionally broken, then blocked me because I joked that maybe I should just stick to casual dating.

Girl #5 — Rich Hinge girl

I reached on my Activa. She arrived in a Defender. That should’ve told me enough already. She took me café hopping and shopping like I was her emotional support Labrador. I eventually told her the dynamic felt weird. Got removed from Instagram immediately.

Girl #6 — Same university girl from Hinge

At first felt perfect. Intellectual, mature, same university background. Then eventually I realized she didn’t want love, casual dating, or commitment. She basically wanted an emotional rental boyfriend she could rant to whenever life felt difficult.

Girl #7 — The fairytale one

Probably the closest thing to a movie romance I experienced. Long walks, late-night hugs, soft moments, everything felt unreal. Then she opened up about deep trauma, disappeared right after, ghosted me completely, and left me wondering what the hell had just happened.

Girl #8 — “You sound like my ex” girl

Girls’ college, strict hostel timing, cute Himachali vibes, gifts, UNO cards, breakfast dates, emotional comeback arc — everything was going great until she randomly hit me with:

“I miss my ex… and your voice sounds like him.”

Brother I genuinely had no response left in my system at that point.

Girl #9 — School friend

Old school friend came back into my life through Instagram. Started with memes and stupid humor, somehow escalated into sexting and emotional attachment. Then reality hit — orthodox family, no future, impossible logistics. We’re still mutuals, but now I just watch her close-friends stories in silence like a retired soldier.

Girl #10 — The intellectual 10/10

Beautiful, smart, mature, exactly my type. I finally thought “okay maybe this is it.” Two dates later:

“I still can’t move on from my ex.”

At this point I wasn’t even sad anymore. I was just impressed by the consistency of the universe.

Girl #11 — The final nail in the coffin

Met through Hinge again. Rainy park date, romantic songs, chocolates, movie dates, Chinese food, affection I had genuinely never experienced before. She said “I love you” after one week. I still tried staying logical because my past experiences had already damaged me mentally. Then one day she cancelled plans, blamed me for confronting her about it, and that was it.

And honestly? That’s when something inside me switched off.

The funny part is that I genuinely tried every single time. I was respectful, emotionally available, understanding, patient — I always went in hoping maybe this one would become something meaningful.

But modern dating feels exhausting as a guy.

People want emotional support, validation, attention, affection, late-night talks, intimacy, comfort…

…but very few people actually know what they want.

Now I mostly focus on my bank job, gym, trekking, cooking, hobbies, and friends. Life is stable. Ironically, now that I’m finally financially settled, the excitement for dating itself is almost gone.

And yeah, maybe someday I’ll find someone genuine. Maybe naturally, maybe through arranged marriage.

But if you’ve experienced modern dating recently, you’ll probably understand exactly what I’m trying to say.

Anyway, thanks for reading my TED Talk. Lol.

TL;DR:

Started dating one year ago expecting love, got emotionally unavailable people, ex trauma, ghosting, mixed signals, and character development instead. Got a government bank job in the process, but lost interest in modern dating completely. LOL

Hi everyone

I recently joined a PSU/government bank and just got my first salary. My in-hand is around ₹44K after tax and NPS deductions (around ₹3K/month goes to NPS, plus the bank contributes 14% separately)

Monthly expenses are roughly:

Rent: ₹10–11K

Other expenses: ₹8–9K

So I’m left with around ₹24K/month and I have no idea how to invest it properly since I am completely new to personal finance.

No loans or EMIs currently. Looking for long-term wealth creation and financial security.

What would you suggest for a beginner?

Emergency fund first?

SIPs, FD, RD, PPF?

How much should stay in savings?

Separate health insurance needed if employer already provides one?

Would appreciate a simple investment roadmap for the ₹24K surplus. Thanks!

Shifting to hoshiarpur for my job....need stay options on chandigarh road near bank lane....If anyone got any lead, DM