u/ctrlll-glitch

I often read that INTPs are actually friendly in their core and this is more INTJ thing, but is there an INTP with that "resting bitch face" look? I've been told for so many times i look so unsympathetic and ruthless, haha. Even when i don't want to. Sometimes I use that look on my face on purpose, because i don't want humans to bother me from my daydreaming.

I've read for multiple times, that people who (generally) suffer from anhedonia (e. g. like schizoids do) have troubles with remembering their dreams. And that's actually my own experience.

People with anhedonia (unability to feel pleasure) or alexithymia (having problems with describing their emotions) can' t remember their dreams well.

I personally don't dream almost at all (or can' t remember my dreams so well), but when i do - these dreams are just so.. weird and dull. These dreams are usually based on some fragments of situations (like I can't remember how i got into that state, what was before).

When I feel unwell and rarely have any dreams, i would call them "depressing" or "grey", rarely nightmares. But you know what is interesting?

Almost everytime I'm feeling bad, depressed..., and have some dreams, it's very hard for me to distinguish these DREAMS and REALITY. For example, I'm doing something and then there comes something like deja vu and I'm like, I DREAMT ABOUT THIS before?

Anyone who relates? :)

I have no reason for living, that's why i have no desire for quite important things in life.

I just feel so bothered by everything. Feeling annoyed when i'm supposed to be around people, annoyed when I'm supposed to do everyday hygiene, generaly annoyed.

No motivation for finding better job (it would acquire better social skills and my ability to deal with people isn't bad that much, but problem is its capacity and if not for my social skills, i am too lazy for learning something new), i have no motivation for trying new things. And when I try something new, i don't stick at it... My energy level is terrible, but as miracle i tend to gain energy everytime i try to go to sleep (yep, i take melatonin and herbs, if someone asked).

I just don't see any reason, why should I try in general? I love sleeping, though. That's the only time I'm fine.

I'm just realizing that reality check in my case is quite depressing.

Are you also sick of life in general like that (by life in general, by doing hygiene etc.) just like i am?

I tend to analyze things a lot and am used to see the relationship between things and situations in general. But being schizoid mean (although lots of psychologists would say it's more complex and schizophrenia is severe conditon) having traits of negative symptoms of schizophrenia and related disorders. And that's the point - it happens only sometimes, but it still freaks me out.

What's my point? I'm doing something and somehow I don't know what to do next. It happens only when I'm supposed to solve a problem.

It's not like like i would be totally out, i know what I'm currently doing, where am I and so, but as long as I'm usually logical person, this time i need to focus on what was my intention. What's the cause? That my brain is just tired? Am i losing my mind?

Don't take any drugs which could cause this btw...

Don't know if i described that well, but hope some of you'll understand what i mean...