u/cuddleduds01

I don't even know where to start. I'll say it for the millionth time that I already have it rough, I'm autistic and a lesbian. I am comfortable with both of them but of course, society will absolutely always have a problem with me. I have to hear all the time how autistic people are a "burden" and the worst thing to ever happen in this world, how they should all just die.

People will always blame you for trauma. I had a very traumatic upbringing (that frankly, I don't think I will ever get over), but it's your fault for not getting help. Even though I have literally tried everything, therapy (multiple therapists), medication (which made me so much worse), I literally tried! Nothing has helped. And support groups? They don't care, they only want you to heal the "proper" way. Otherwise you are the problem whether uou like it or not. Even something like a harmless hobby, they'll tell you you are a "capitalist little scrooge" or whatever. You can't have any interests at all in this day and age, nope!

Oh and don't even get me started on the state of the world and my country (US). Aside from all the nasty shit in and about our government (and people worshipping that), housing is awful, I am essentially forced to live with someone (my oldest sister) who used to beat me as a kid. I have a lock for my bedroom door. And my other family have their own problems (some not even being in this country) so it's not like I can just say "lol bye".

Honestly, I know this may be wrong but I am starting to hate her. She will always find a way to bring me down, she even makes "jokes" about how she would beat her sons if one of them turned out to be gay or neurodivergent or anything else. I mean who the *fuck* jokes about something like that? She's an atheist though so surely she can't be homophobic haha am i right. But it's still better than my dad, that man is genuinely evil.

All that talk about "mental health"? It's all smoke and mirrors. People don't care, as soon as you start showing any signs of mental illness you are automatically an outcast of society. They will only say all that just to make themselves feel better, they gotta get those sweet internet and performative points.

At this point, it's a matter of when I finally leave this society. Who knows, maybe I might finally reunite with my uncle. But nah, according to my sister he doesn't exist anymore and I'm stupid for believing that so haha fuck me I guess. There's so much other I want to say but this is already long and disjointed, nothing I say will ever make a difference

That is all.

Sincerely, a tired retail worker that had a crying 4-ish year old in the store for nearly an hour. 🫩

Mostly anyone into the parks and/or movies, but let's be real there's no difference in society's eyes

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I've already heard the worst of the worst of me being autistic, you can be honest lol

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Coming from someone who has rejected one (as a gift) a bunch of times from this fear, fml 🥲

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First I'll say I'm glad this subreddit even exists. Whenever I try to bring up how harmful therapy has been I'll get hit with "oh actually not of all them" or "maybe you haven't found the right one" or you know, something of that like. Big victim blaming energy going on but sadly that's on par with society.

Anyways, to the topic. they love feeding off your misery. I remember when I was in therapy (tried multiple therapists) they'd always laugh at me or try to hold it in. "Oh your dad just loves you, it's tough love!" (He was physically abusive) "You are not autistic, it's an attention-seeking mechanism" (I was diagnosed as a child). They will also pry for any information they could get. I remember of them, older lady, tried asking me if I believed in God (I am Christian but I considered it irrelevant) which I mean, *why* exactly do you need to know that?

Go to any forum for therapists, and you'll get the sentiment that they LOVE being nosey. They don't care about you, they just want to know your deepest secrets, they love the "drama". And speaking from experience, they're also ITCHING to just send you away, to a psych ward or god knows where. All that does is just add onto my trauma, almost like they want you to get worse so you can keep going back to them. I know the internet isn't real life a lot of time, but where else can they freely say the truth without getting penalized?

I just needed to get this all out. I'm tired of society putting therapists on a pedestal, and acting like therapy is the *only* way to improve your mental health.