u/cutecucumber54

Hi!

So it’s been 2 months since my (33F) partner (32M) of 3 years broke up with me. This has been the most devastating, gut wrenching experience of my life; the grief took hold of me completely - mind, body, and soul. Coming out of this, I also don’t really know who I am anymore….which isn’t necessarily a bad thing (I’m taking it as an evolution of myself).

Last week him and I met up for a closure talk (which also marked no contact, we still had contact because of the logistics of moving out), and I’m surprised to say it, but I’m not crying for hours on end anymore. I feel a tiny bit better, and even though people told me it wasn’t a good idea, I think it’s what my spirit needed to finally start healing??

Anyways, I have the opportunity to take some shrooms this weekend and go on a little trip in nature. I’ve seen stories of psychedelics providing some insight/jump start healing through the grief and I wanted to see if anyone has any first hand experience with it?

TL;DR - does anyone have any experience with shrooms aiding them in their grief journey?

Thanks so much! ♥️🙏🏼

Hi, my partner (32M) broke up with me (33F) 2 weeks ago and I am beyond heartbroken and devastated. It came out of nowhere for me, but I guess he’s been having feelings of us not being compatible anymore/we’ve done all the growing we can together. There’s been a buildup of resentment on his end, enough that he called me a name he never had in our entire relationship (which is what triggered the breakup). He basically said it was unacceptable for him to call me that and this is the beginning of the end because he had no remorse about it. He’s never been abusive in any way, but he said if we kept going that it was only going to get worse, so we needed to end it here and now.

At first I was in shock and unable to process anything. Eventually, it hit me and all I could say was “this sucks.” I knew it was the end because he was right. We had plateaued and there was no room for growth. I was shocked about the breakup, but there were little signs here and there that I either subconsciously ignored or didn’t see until now. Regardless, we talked it out and I basically told him that I can’t change his mind if this is how he feels and he said he’d rather end it now while we still love each other vs a year or two from now when it’s up in flames. It was very amicable and he even started sobbing (he never cries) after he said he was going to miss me and that I was the best relationship he’s ever had. We agreed we’d go no contact for the foreseeable future (after I move all my things out) so we can both grieve and go through the process on our own.

We’ve lived together at his place for a little over 3 years, including my cat. I’ve always kept my apartment as a space to get away if we needed some time apart but I’ve been subletting it to friends and family. Currently, my sister stays here and it’s a small apartment (like we share a bed small). I’ve had to move back in and it’s been an absolute mess trying to make space for me. There’s clutter and shit everywhere. We’re going to get a bigger place together but I need at least a month or two to get my mind right so we can focus on logistics/save some money. I’m still getting my stuff from his place - I went over there a couple of days after the breakup and couldn’t handle being there (my sister and friend came with, he was not there). I’ve since gone back two more times, and each time fucking sucked. How is it not my home anymore? I’m really starting to feel the finality of it all.

Everything reminds me of him - movies, shows, freeway exits, locations, fucking routes I would take to go home. Not only did I lose my partner and best friend, but I also lost my home, my neighborhood, my community. My whole fucking world has flipped upside down and I don’t know how to do this. All I’ve done since the breakup is burst into tears randomly and rot in bed. My manager has been so understanding and has basically given me free reign on my schedule for the next couple of weeks (I WFH) so I’ve worked a little here and there but I just can’t focus on anything. I haven’t been eating because my stomach has been in knots/nauseated since the breakup - I’d already lost 10 pounds in the first week.

He and I spoke on the phone a week after the breakup to talk logistics about me moving out. His texts have been super professional and matter of fact, which has been so weird for me. He told me it just has to be that way right now, and basically said that is not how it’s been for him behind the scenes. It gives me some solace he’s also going through it. I also told him that I had some clarifying questions about our breakup/what lead to it and asked if we could meet up to talk. I wasn’t in the headspace to ask questions and try to understand when it happened because I was so in shock. He said after I move everything out, we can meet somewhere to talk. But now I’m starting to think that may not be the best idea. I don’t know.

I’ve never felt this kind of pain or grief in my entire life (lucky me, huh?). My last breakup was nothing compared to this - I felt that I was truly loved and cared for in this relationship. This was the first time I ever fell in love and had that reciprocated. I was happy. All I can think about is him and all the small things I took for granted that are now a memory - him putting his arm or leg over me while we were sleeping, the random cuddles in the morning, the butt or boob grab randomly throughout the day. He blew everything up and I’m so fucking sad.

I don’t know what to do with myself so I guess I’m just coming here for any words of wisdom, advice, similar stories, or chat with anyone currently going through this/anyone that has been through this. I’ve already been in contact with grief therapist, so hoping that somewhat helps.

TLDR: my boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere after 3 years of being together and living together, citing there was no more room for growth and that our lifestyles weren’t compatible. I’m so so devastated and don’t know how I’m going to get over this.

Hi, my partner (32M) broke up with me (33F) 2 weeks ago and I am beyond heartbroken and devastated. It came out of nowhere for me, but I guess he’s been having feelings of us not being compatible anymore/we’ve done all the growing we can together. There’s been a buildup of him feeling like I’ve been holding him back or maybe resentment on his end, enough that he called me a name he never had in our entire relationship (which is what triggered the breakup). He basically said it was unacceptable for him to call me that and this is the beginning of the end because he had no remorse about it. He’s never been abusive in any way, but he said if we kept going that it was only going to get worse, so we needed to end it here and now.

At first I was in shock and unable to process anything. Eventually, it hit me and all I could say was “this sucks.” I knew it was the end because he was right. We had plateaued and there was no room for growth. I was shocked about the breakup, but there were little signs here and there that I either subconsciously ignored or didn’t see until now. Regardless, we talked it out and I basically told him that I can’t change his mind if this is how he feels and he said he’d rather end it now while we still love each other vs a year or two from now when it’s up in flames. It was very amicable and he even started sobbing (he never cries) after he said he was going to miss me and that I was the best relationship he’s ever had. We agreed we’d go no contact for the foreseeable future (after I move all my things out) so we can both grieve and go through the process on our own.

We’ve lived together at his place for a little over 3 years, including my cat. I’ve always kept my apartment as a space to get away if we needed some time apart but I’ve been subletting it to friends and family. Currently, my sister stays here and it’s a small apartment (like we share a bed small). I’ve had to move back in and it’s been an absolute mess trying to make space for me. There’s clutter and shit everywhere. We’re going to get a bigger place together but I need at least a month or two to get my mind right so we can focus on logistics/save some money. I’m still getting my stuff from his place - I went over there a couple of days after the breakup and couldn’t handle being there (my sister and friend came with, he was not there). I’ve since gone back two more times, and each time fucking sucked. How is it not my home anymore? I’m really starting to feel the finality of it all.

Everything reminds me of him - movies, shows, freeway exits, locations, fucking routes I would take to go home. Not only did I lose my partner and best friend, but I also lost my home, my neighborhood, my community. My whole fucking world has flipped upside down and I don’t know how to do this. All I’ve done since the breakup is burst into tears randomly and rot in bed. My manager has been so understanding and has basically given me free reign on my schedule for the next couple of weeks (I WFH) so I’ve worked a little here and there but I just can’t focus on anything. I haven’t been eating because my stomach has been in knots/nauseated since the breakup - I’d already lost 10 pounds in the first week.

He and I spoke on the phone a week after the breakup to talk logistics about me moving out. His texts have been super professional and matter of fact, which has been so weird for me. He told me it just has to be that way right now, and basically said that is not how it’s been for him behind the scenes. It gives me some solace he’s also going through it. I also told him that I had some clarifying questions about our breakup/what lead to it and asked if we could meet up to talk. I wasn’t in the headspace to ask questions and try to understand when it happened because I was so in shock. He said after I move everything out, we can meet somewhere to talk. But now I’m starting to think that may not be the best idea. I don’t know.

I’ve never felt this kind of pain or grief in my entire life (lucky me, huh?). My last breakup was nothing compared to this - I felt that I was truly loved and cared for in this relationship. This was the first time I ever fell in love and had that reciprocated. I was happy. All I can think about is him and all the small things I took for granted that are now a memory - him putting his arm or leg over me while we were sleeping, the random cuddles in the morning, the butt or boob grab randomly throughout the day. He blew everything up and I’m so fucking sad.

I don’t know what to do with myself so I guess I’m just coming here for any words of wisdom, advice, similar stories, or chat with anyone currently going through this/anyone that has been through this. I’ve already been in contact with grief therapist, so hoping that somewhat helps.

TLDR: my boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere after 3 years of being together and living together, citing there was no more room for growth and that our lifestyles weren’t compatible. I’m so so devastated and don’t know how I’m going to get over this.

Hi, my partner (32M) broke up with me (33F) 2 weeks ago and I am beyond heartbroken and devastated. It came out of nowhere for me, but I guess he’s been having feelings of us not being compatible anymore/we’ve done all the growing we can together. There’s been a buildup of resentment on his end, enough that he called me a name he never had in our entire relationship (which is what triggered the breakup). He basically said it was unacceptable for him to call me that and this is the beginning of the end because he had no remorse about it. He’s never been abusive in any way, but he said if we kept going that it was only going to get worse, so we needed to end it here and now.

At first I was in shock and unable to process anything. Eventually, it hit me and all I could say was “this sucks.” I knew it was the end because he was right. We had plateaued and there was no room for growth. I was shocked about the breakup, but there were little signs here and there that I either subconsciously ignored or didn’t see until now. Regardless, we talked it out and I basically told him that I can’t change his mind if this is how he feels and he said he’d rather end it now while we still love each other vs a year or two from now when it’s up in flames. It was very amicable and he even started sobbing (he never cries) after he said he was going to miss me and that I was the best relationship he’s ever had. We agreed we’d go no contact for the foreseeable future (after I move all my things out) so we can both grieve and go through the process on our own.

We’ve lived together at his place for a little over 3 years, including my cat. I’ve always kept my apartment as a space to get away if we needed some time apart but I’ve been subletting it to friends and family. Currently, my sister stays here and it’s a small apartment (like we share a bed small). I’ve had to move back in and it’s been an absolute mess trying to make space for me. There’s clutter and shit everywhere. We’re going to get a bigger place together but I need at least a month or two to get my mind right so we can focus on logistics/save some money. I’m still getting my stuff from his place - I went over there a couple of days after the breakup and couldn’t handle being there (my sister and friend came with, he was not there). I’ve since gone back two more times, and each time fucking sucked. How is it not my home anymore? I’m really starting to feel the finality of it all.

Everything reminds me of him - movies, shows, freeway exits, locations, fucking routes I would take to go home. Not only did I lose my partner and best friend, but I also lost my home, my neighborhood, my community. My whole fucking world has flipped upside down and I don’t know how to do this. All I’ve done since the breakup is burst into tears randomly and rot in bed. My manager has been so understanding and has basically given me free reign on my schedule for the next couple of weeks (I WFH) so I’ve worked a little here and there but I just can’t focus on anything. I haven’t been eating because my stomach has been in knots/nauseated since the breakup - I’d already lost 10 pounds in the first week.

He and I spoke on the phone a week after the breakup to talk logistics about me moving out. His texts have been super professional and matter of fact, which has been so weird for me. He told me it just has to be that way right now, and basically said that is not how it’s been for him behind the scenes. It gives me some solace he’s also going through it. I also told him that I had some clarifying questions about our breakup/what lead to it and asked if we could meet up to talk. I wasn’t in the headspace to ask questions and try to understand when it happened because I was so in shock. He said after I move everything out, we can meet somewhere to talk. But now I’m starting to think that may not be the best idea. I don’t know.

I’ve never felt this kind of pain or grief in my entire life (lucky me, huh?). My last breakup was nothing compared to this - I felt that I was truly loved and cared for in this relationship. This was the first time I ever fell in love and had that reciprocated. I was happy. All I can think about is him and all the small things I took for granted that are now a memory - him putting his arm or leg over me while we were sleeping, the random cuddles in the morning, the butt or boob grab randomly throughout the day. He blew everything up and I’m so fucking sad.

I don’t know what to do with myself so I guess I’m just coming here for any words of wisdom, advice, similar stories, or chat with anyone currently going through this/anyone that has been through this. I’ve already been in contact with grief therapist, so hoping that somewhat helps.

TLDR: my boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere after 3 years of being together and living together, citing there was no more room for growth and that our lifestyles weren’t compatible. I’m so so devastated and don’t know how I’m going to get over this.