Hello everyone. I am 44, married, 6ft2', wheatish complexion. I love playing basketball and am a weekend rider. I feel free on my bike and head out to any location. It's undecided, always. I am an introvert but always excited. I am looking for like minded people.
I m 44/M/straight. I look quite younger than my age. I love basketball and like riding on weekends. I'm looking for women around my age. But it's difficult to find.
I am 44M straight. 6ft2', wheatish complexion. I don't look 44 is what I am being told by female colleagues. I play basketball and I'm fit. But not a gym freak.
I have seen people in their 20s n 30s who are into polygamy. I have not found any people in their late 30s or beyond 40s. I am looking for a partner but I am clueless where and how to find one.
Any suggestions!?
M/44/Mumbai/straight I am 6ft 2', wheatish complexion and slim. Weekend rides are my soul because that's where I feel free.
I have never posted anything on reddit till date, I think. However, I have been reading posts and commenting and sharing my experience based on what I am replying to.
So here it is...I don't know if what I am stating here is the right thing but I feel suffocated now.
I am married and have 2 kids. There is no love life and the spark is missing. I had affairs but each time I got caught. Well that didn't stop me. I got busted thrice and every time I found out the reason I was busted, i ensured i never repeated that mistake. However, my wife is possessive and can't have a woman friend. With this being said...
I met a woman in 2018 who is 8-9 years younger. They stay 3rd is a charm. After this I never looked at women, even my colleagues. I never spoke to them unless spoken to and my responses and interaction was limited to work. So, this woman used to come to the reception and speak to the receptionist..my cabin was behind the receptionist. Later I realised that she used to work on the floor above mentioned and used to visit the reception on my floor at any odd time for no reason. I noticed her glancing at me multiple times whenever she used to visit. She quit the firm in 2019. Cut to November 2019 after she quit. I received a WhatsApp message. I replied and then she introduced herself. I was curious to know how she got my number and the purpose of her call. She stated that she got it from my receptionist. Okay! So we started chatting. Then I received a call...my heart skipped a beat.
I started liking her when she used to visit the reception. But my heart did not dare to steer in that direction then.
So when she called we spoke like normal colleagues...she stated that the climate was great and she stated she wants to have a beer and have great sex. It was just a generic statement but found it odd and knew where this would go. I didn't acknowledge it anyway. We kept in touch on calls and then it happened, the moment of truth. Told he that I liked her. But I am married and would like to keep this revelation discreet. She was in a dilemma. And it ended after a couple of days and we parted ways.
My relationship with my wife had gone dead a decade ago. But I took the impulsive decision to get married as we got carried away and had sex. So it was my moral responsibility to do the right thing. By marrying her. Which I did. Sex was great but then even that ended. I like to foreplay and like oral which she used to feel yuck about what I did and obviously I didn't expect her to do the same. Later she started liking it and used to orgasm within 5 minutes leaving me high and dry. We rarely orgasmed together. So it was working, drinking after work, going home, having my dinner and going to bed. This was my routine and it still is. I have no friends, the one I had who used to work overseas is back in Mumbai; however, he is married, got a kid. I visited my parents one day and noticed he is back so I visited his house and met his mother in law. It seems that he is out for some work and will be back late in the evening. I went back in the evening and she stated he is not back yet. So I went and greeted some old timers around and one of them told me that my friend is in the house and he is sitting in the gallery. I saw that he was sitting and he thought that it was dark so I couldn't see him but I could make out that he was observing me. I called him out. And we exchanged greetings and I realised the fake concerns he had. He asked me to join him and I declined stating that I had to leave.
So, back to my story....
It's 2022...work, drink, home, dinner and go straight to bed. I had stopped being active on social media platforms. However this time I don't know why I logged into my instagram account and was scrolling. Thought of finding her on insta.....her account popped up. Sent a request...was accepted later and I forgot about it. We started exchanging messages. Seems like she is married and has shifted to a different city. We started chatting as normal people do. But my heart beat rose every time we chatted or called. She told me that she will be visiting for her friend's marriage in Ambernath. I stated that I wish to meet her, she did not decline and agreed. I travelled almost 60 kms by road. Met her for a brief 15 minutes and left. She stated that she did not expect me to visit her so far. Told her that I still have that flame in me and could not resist .
I used to write poems...not a passion but liked it. I started conveying my messages through poems. Shared my college work with her, wished her on her birthday with a poem.
By now I was completely smitten in love. I felt better and more human than a robot when I used to interact with her. Life was great and beautiful until the day my wife found out.
I visited to that city, booked a stay in a good hotel. She visited. We spoke, her clothes were off, I started with what I am good at...foreplay and oral...she experienced an orgasm. But I never dared to have sex. The situation was too overwhelming for me. I left for Mumbai the next day with a heavy heart.
My wife saw some changes in my behaviour and then... suspicions....she started digging....I was not even aware. And then, she asked me.
My problem...I can't lie. I know... y'all would judge me. CAN'T LIE?
YES, I CAN'T! or should I state that I did not want to even when I knew I could. This dead relationship was suffocating me. She stated that she will get back to her and will ruin her life and career. She was head of centre for NIIT...(people who don't know may google NIIT). Man...she is good at her job. It didn't take much time for her to get my APs online accounts, history and her where her parents stay.
I wanted to get out of this dead relationship but she threatened to destroy her life, her parents, her husband's life and their career. I requested her not to as it was me who initiated it. It was up to me to decide whether I should go with this relationship. She told me that she will leave me. I was okay with it. She didn't. Now I am just a dog, humiliated every time, when I booze I get sloshed...and when I do I just vent out.
Huuuuh!
My AP has blocked me. I tried messaging her..in fact I started to send her messages. I was too emotional after this episode. Like a Zombie.
Been a long time now the same old routine...work, dinner and going to sleep. No drinking everyday. May be once or twice a week. But that's it. When she is upset she vents about my AP and man the taunts are unbearable. But I have to bear it. I can go on and on with the taunts. My wife is right. What I did was right. But it wasn't fruitful to any of us.
I am lonely. No friends. Thinking about finding somebody whom I can share, companionship...I don't know if I get that somebody and where it will lead to.
Tried finding people on platforms even on Gleeden. But it's bad.
I hope that I find that somebody but dunno how and where.