u/decaying_corpse_

Sorry if this doesn’t fit the Subreddit, this is one of the few places online that has accepted me for being the loser I am. I don’t know how much detail I can go into because I can’t remember what Reddit’s censorship/limits are, so I’ll omit a lot of information just to be on the safe side

For context, I’m biologically male and have gone by he/him for my entire life, but have always had the ‘what if’ and ‘if I had the choice’ thoughts. My body is somewhat feminine due to the proportions of my skeleton (fucking huge pelvis and ribcage that give me a borderline hourglass look, while the angles and lengths of my femurs have a similar effect).

I don’t hate being male, and honestly having a dick is kinda awesome, but really I don’t know

I don’t know who or what I am, and don’t think I can do anything about this. I don’t have anyone I can talk to about anything in this kinda arena, so honestly I think I’ll have to wait until I somehow find myself in a relationship with someone I trust enough to open up to

My mental health is at an all time low and I’ve been distancing myself from the people close to me as a result

All I can really do now is listen to music, make art, and waste time working my way through War Thunder and the Valve collection. I have no hope of completing the degree in osteoarchaeology I’m currently trying to achieve as I am barely capable of leaving my room. It’s been about two weeks since I last attended a lecture

Chorizo, expensive thin ham and radish slices

Of all the things to come across on Vinted, a weird tooth/mouth thing was not on my bucket list

I’m fine saying all of this anonymously on Reddit, as far as I’m aware nobody else I know in real life knows about it.

I’m bi, she’s lesbian, and one of the few people I can truly talk to with full confidence.

I won’t go into detail, however I had my chance, but blew it. I’ll work on this, and eventually want to come out to her before the rest of my family. I know that they’ll be supportive, I’m just dreading the attention, and know that they’ll probably make quite a lot of note of it. It’s such a normal part of my life at this point that it should just be an uneventful thing, but, as weird as it is to say, it feels like knowing that they’ll be proud of me, and will treat it as an eventful thing, is honestly kinda holding me back.

Feels kinda weird to post here instead of r/Kitchencels to be honest, however this feels too positive to send out into the abyss

I became more confident as the conversation progressed, which was pretty epic to witness as someone with such cripplingly low confidence (which is amplified by the fact that my only insecurities are in my deep, relatively monotone voice, the way I speak, and the ways I present to the world when it comes to charisma, demeanour, body language, etc).

I can’t go into much detail, however we will be volunteering with the same archaeological organisation for five days this summer, and honestly it was amazing to be able to nerd out with someone over field archaeology and osteoarchaeology for once.

It’s only once you can break through the agony that you can really recognise how abysmal you felt beforehand

(I’ve eaten very little over the past eight or so days, so have used a photo of a salami, lettuce, tomato and mozzarella sandwich from a couple of weeks ago)

I don’t know if I’m based, however I am hopepilled, as for the flair :)

Edit: When she started talking about the price of camera lenses (which is absolutely insane, they’re usually more expensive than most cameras) my anxiety and borderline inability to speak saved me from saying something about them being made by wizards (as an explanation for the price). Saved by a blessing and a curse (but mainly a curse though)

It was quite clear that it was aimed at me, or at the very least that their laughter started as a result of seeing me, standing at a weird angle, photographing cool caterpillars.

It was honestly kinda worth it, as the caterpillars were epic, and I’m proud to have photographed them-I have some much better photos than the one shown in this post, however my friends have seen them and I’d hate for them to find this account lol

As a nice bonus I got five sardines in a tin though, which was pretty epic

A blessing and a curse (it’s also good for peace of mind, as I was, and still am extremely disgusted by it, and not turned on in the slightest.) Don’t watch it if you’re curious, please (unless you’re into that (literal) shit, then go ahead I guess)

G