Is breakup the right call?
Hi, frankly, I feel like I’ve got nobody to speak to, so I guess I’ll post here. I (M20) just broke up with my (F21) girlfriend and I don’t know if I did the right thing.
She’s got BPD, but she manages it quite well, and I’m FA and working on it. She says I’ve improved a lot, I don’t know, but either way the dynamic can get tiring.
I feel like a terrible person. She’s the sweetest person ever and almost never hurts me, and I on the other hand, always end up saying or doing something hurtful without intending it. I’m tired of being a bad boyfriend, I just wanna be known as a good friend, but when I get into relationships I just become insufferable. It was almost 1 year of being together and I broke it off today for a few reasons:
- I felt like a bad partner and person
- I felt she deserved better and that I can’t provide her with all the love and affection she’s seeking, even tho I’m trying
- I felt like I had no capacity to maintain a relationship
- I felt trapped and I wanted to get out, I was finding random flaws in her and questioning if she’s the right fit for me etc. I feel gross admitting this.
She told me that I can still think about it, and I don’t know what to think. At moments, I want to be with her, but I also think I’m saving us both pain by doing this. I have no clue, frankly.
Yeah idk, the self awareness makes it feel worse, cuz I know I’m the worse person and she’s never done anything to deserve this horrible treatment.