u/denedeh

I do technical recruiting, mostly robotics, hardware and ML roles, and i got tired of every sourcing tool handing me 700 results where 500 obviously dont fit. So over a few months i built my own sourcing skill in Claude instead of paying for another platform, and it’s been the biggest change to how i work in years.

The biggest problem for me was that the tools fragment what you ask them. I'd search for an embedded engineer with CAN bus and motor control experience, and instead of people who actually had all three, it would surface anyone with any one of those words somewhere on their profile. The more context i gave it the worse the results got. And the data was constantly out of date, i'd find a perfect person who had actually started a new role months ago and the tool never caught it.

What i built runs the search the way i would. I describe the role, it pulls the live JD, then it makes me score about 5 candidates first so it learns my taste before it ranks the rest. That calibration step is the whole thing, after that the top of the list is people i'd actually pick up the phone for. It also surfaces the non-obvious ones, the candidate whose current title doesnt match but whose actual path does, which is the 25-35% the keyword tools just skip. It even picks up timing signals, like flagging when someone's company just got acquired, since thats usually when people there are open to a move.

It took real setup, a few weeks of me correcting it and writing down how i actually evaluate people before it got good, so its not a quick solution if thats what you're after.

On the stack, i use Crustdata for the people data since its live and properly filterable over an api. Prospeo for mobile numbers, it only charges you when it actually finds a verified number which is great. FullEnrich for email when Prospeo comes up short. That data layer is the part that makes or breaks all of this, the skill is only ever as good as what it can actually pull.

The payoff has been worth it though. Once a role is calibrated i can run 5-6 searches in an hour instead of one a day. I sourced a whole batch over a weekend in little gaps around my kid's birthday, which just wasnt possible before. And the first time i woke up to a finished search i hadnt sat over, clean enough to push straight into outreach. Picked up a couple clients i would've had to turn down otherwise.

I have been watching porn for more than 15 years now and I have quit sometimes for a couple of weeks and it actually works wonders on my drive but I relapsed pretty hard.

I am married and my wife is not the best when it comes to seduction. She is naturally thick and I love her body. But she won’t try dresses or roleplaying to make me horny and want to cum in her.

We even do it unprotected as she’s on birth control.

Even if I watch porn and have regular sex, it turns me on just watching her naked.

But if we are having sex every other or I am masturbating, I find it hard to climax.

If I take 2-3 days of not climaxing using any means then my penis is so sensitive that I am able to cum but only for that session.

But if I want to cum again on the same day or within like 24 hours with sex, I am not able to.

I have to imagine something in my mind, maybe my wife herself or some other person from porn or previous partners.

I always feel like it’s because of POV because what I imagine has a different POV than what I see during sex with my own eyes.

We had a hotel room in the past with mirror parallel to our bed and seeing myself in that POV didn’t require much imagination but normally at our home, it’s just too hard to have multiple sessions without imagining anything.

Is this normal symptom of frequent sex in early 30s or could it be fixed if I completely if I stop watching porn and imagining stuff?

At my last gig I was owning the company’s blog, writing their newsletter, and doing some social clipping. Though I went in for an English undergrad and ended up in marketing, it beat working in retail like some of my classmates. 2 years in, stuck at like $50k/year, I worked up the courage to ask for a raise, and I think that’s what finally tipped things over. Boss said he’d think about it, and then I got my 30 day notice on June 1st.

I’m kinda freaking out. It feels like our whole industry is becoming automated. Even the Dan Loks & those “high ticket sales page” guys I learned from to get good at copywriting seem to be out of the game now.

I know that my role in life is not to write pithy quotes and company brochures. I used to love writing, but the expectation at the last gig was SCALE! VOLUME! Publishing cadence! It felt like being a machine. Maybe it is better for an AI to do it, and we get back to literature and poetry…

But all that abundance isn’t here yet, so I still have to feed myself and my cat. I think it’s either time to go back to school, get into some freelance work, or crack away at personal writing projects on the side. I’m thinking I could also go back to school for advertising since I don’t have any formal degree in the field. I don’t think the degree itself will move mountains (so 4y colleges are out) but I’m looking at some portfolio schools to beef up my work. Anyway, I haven’t job hunted since before all this AI stuff, so question for all of you:

Do you have or are trying to build a copywriting career? What’s your plan? How are you getting paid?

I hate video calls, at least when they are too frequent. Even my own family lives in a different city so we VC every week to catch up. A week’s time also gives you things to talk about genuinely.

But my wife’s family is extremely clingy. They have an unspoken rule of doing a video call daily. Like literally daily!

They often have nothing to talk about so they either gossip nonsense or just keep staring at each other. No meaningful talks or anything helpful, pure wastage of time.

I have indirectly hinted this to my wife a couple of times that you guys should wait at least a couple of days to get something to talk about but she’s like “I want to see my mum and sister daily”

PS: her sister is also married, has a newborn and she also spends most of her free time either on reels or gossiping on video calls.

Initially after our marriage it bothered me a lot but then I built boundaries. I didn’t want to be a part of those calls so I politely asked her to go to a different room or maybe do it when she’s in the kitchen. She didn’t revolt and understood that happily.

But then, now her mom (my MIL) is staying with us for 15 days. It’s the first time ever since our marriage.

I was actually excited to spend time with her and gain some elderly wisdom.

She wakes up at 6:30, and the first thing she does is video call the other daughter to speak with the grandchild.

And she’s so fucking loud!!!!

That VC lasts for half an hour at least and DAILY! Like no days off.

We live in a rented multi-storey house that’s shared by 5 other families. So we all make sure that we keep the noise to minimum as sound proofing is not that great.

And yet my MIL speaks to the kid on speaker with full capacity of her throat. It’s so loud that I can’t focus on my book even in next room.

I confronted my wife about this and asked her to suggest her mom to use earphones but she’s an old woman and thinks earphones are “bad for your ears”

Dude???!!!!

I am seriously not sure what to do. She’s a very stubborn person and also easily pissed. And my wife is always scared of her.

It also seems like my wife thinks that I am making a fuss about it as most elder people are loud so I should adjust.

But adjusting doesn’t mean I have to ruin my daily routine! I read books on my ebook reader each morning before starting work and here these ladies are making it too difficult for me to have a peaceful morning.

AITAH? Because my wife is making me feel that I am one.