u/diseasebunny666

(Context just in case people don't know this [IDK what is and isn't common knowledge]: Norethindrone acetate isn't birth control, it's progesterone and I only take it to stop my period. I assume that's probably relevant since as far as I know most birth control has estrogen in it instead.)

I've been on it since early April or so, but I haven't been able to take it for two or three days because my dad hasn't gotten more yet (I don't have a license yet so I can't do it myself). This morning I started bleeding slightly, way less than usual though. I'm getting my prescription refilled today. Will it stop after I start taking it again?

I've hit "Remove" for some documents about five times in a row, but they don't go away? How can I move things to the trash? Is it not an option anymore? It says "Removing from view," so it's a different thing from deleting, but there's no other option? It used to say "Moving to trash" or something to that effect. When I refresh the page, they just show up again. Sorry if this is stupid, but for years I could just delete stuff normally and in one try. This only started happening recently.

Is there any point in trying? One's a stocking job I think? And the other is a dishwashing job, or maybe bussing, I don't really remember. Would anyone want to hire someone who takes that long to reply? I can't think of an excuse besides the truth, which makes me seem like a terrible employee. I don't know if I even can respond, but is there any use trying? Did I just completely fumble both of them for no reason?

What am I supposed to do? I have two places I need to call back (both times they called I didn't pick up because I was scared) but whenever I think about it I just start crying. I just picked up my phone to call one of them because thinking about how I haven't called them already was making me anxious (it's been a day for this one) but I couldn't do it and I'm still crying. I don't know what to do.

I don't want to respond to anyone anymore, but I need a job, so I think I might just kill myself to get rid of the problem entirely. I've tried for years to figure out how to stop being anxious and I've made a lot of progress but I'm still just significantly less functional than the average person. If there a way to be like everyone else, I would have heard by now, but I've been hearing the same handful of useless bullshit over and over again on loop for years on end and it's so fucking annoying. But if I were dead, I wouldn't have to be anxious anymore. I only haven't killed myself out of fear. There's no actual reason why suicide is bad, it's impossible for anyone to ever give an actual answer as to why, no one has ever been able to actually explain why it's bad. If it were actually bad, there'd be a reason why.

I'm trying to buy something and I ran into a small issue and wasn't able to complete the purchase. It's not anything important, but I'm crying a lot and I don't know why. It's way too much for the issue at hand, and my life has been fine, better than usually actually, the past few weeks or so, so it's not like it's because of built up stress or anything. Why am I crying? This happens all the time and I really want it to stop. I hate it so much, and I'm so sick of crying all the time, and if there isn't a solution to this, I'm going to kill myself.