u/dre_the_brazilian

Hi guy's, so I've been torn lately. I've gone through my worst breakup so far about a month ago and my confidence is quite low.

It's been hard but I really don't want to stay sad forever. The hardest part about putting yourself back out there is just the hassle of finding someone you're compatible with.

And maybe some of the dating apps could help with that. Now, I've always been against them morally, I've always thought it feels kinda dehumanising rating people without even knowing them.

But at this point I'm open to just about anything, I really doubt I'll find my future soul mate on there but you never know.

I kinda just want to prove to myself that I'm still able to talk to women, and that I'm capable of moving on. Even if it's just going on dates that don't mean anything, to atleast have some fun.

For anyone who's been on them, what are your opinions on it?

Hey guys, so I moved here from Brazil 3 years ago and I'm speaking the language pretty good and I kinda feel like one of the boys.

At the beginning of March some Dutch girl was interested in me and gave me her snap, we quickly started dating.

Thing is, she would mention a lot in the first month how hot she finds my look, and my accent, and my style etc. I didn't mind because I liked her too.

Skip to 2 weeks ago, and she absolutely broke my heart. Right now I'm going through the phase of questioning every aspect of the relationship.

Was it all just some weird fetish, sometimes I'd try to get closer to her and make her feel loved and beautiful and she wouldn't take it well.

Apparently her exes were also foreigners: Swedish and Turkish.

Is this at all common in the netherlands?

I haven't talked to her in 3 days, I'm fighting every second of every day not to send her a text. I thought I was doing OK but I dreamt of her last night and now I'm bad to square one.

I miss her, I miss her so much my hairs turning white. I miss her voice, I miss her eyes, I miss the love bites she'd give me if we hugged or kissed. I miss waking up to her already texting me goodmorning, I miss her venting to me about her day, I miss the way no matter how unattractive I felt she'd call me handsome.

I miss how she was never embarrassed to be herself around me, I miss talking to her until 2 am eventhough we had to wake up early the next day. I miss how she would make the effort to learn some words in my native language. I miss her mind her soul and her body.

The relationship barely lasted 3 months but it felt like I'm losing a loved one. I know if I text or call her I'll just be embarrassing myself.

I wish she could feel even 10% of the pain she's putting me through, not even for revenge just so she could fully understand how much she meant to me. I feel like an animal, I almost want to chuck my phone in a river and lock myself in my house just until this pain stops.

It's coming up on 3 weeks since, my heart still wants her more than anything but there is a silver lining in all of this.

On the day of I was such a broken mess that I started praying again, something I had basically stopped as she was an atheist (nothing against that). In short this horrible experience brought me closer to God and I'm treating the people in my life a lot better.

I'm offering to help more, I'm telling family and friends how much I love them and how much they mean to me more often. Furthermore I'm back to going to the gym consistently , and I basically completed a month of school work in 2 nights.

I'm obviously just putting on a brave face, as deep down I am very much still hurting. But I'm grateful that at least something good will come of all this.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

I just feel so stupid, I wish I could just cry it out in 1 night but the feeling seems to come back stronger every time.

Every single girlfriend I've ever had I've never come close to loving, pretty much all ending on bad terms. I've even had one cheat on me but I didn't really care cause I knew it wasn't going to work out.

This one was different, I moved to a new country 3 years ago. I've been doing my hardest to be one of the guys, learn the language, integrate, help others without expecting things in return. But I never really got the love back, and also because I'm from a Latin American country I'm basically way behind on my study and my classmates are all 2-3 years younger than me.

Suddenly one day I got a note saying "you look really nice, here's my snap". I was hesitant as nobody in my mind seemed to be interested in me so I messaged her. My jaw dropped, she just might be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and she made me feel so loved.

The first month was magic, just getting to know her, every part of her, and she seemed to find me so interesting. We were basically the same person, same interests, same humour, same ideologies. It felt like a gift from God.

I couldn't believe a girl like that could ever like a guy like me. But then something just changed on a random Thursday night, I was telling her how great she is like I always did when she said "We needed to talk"

She basically told me all of her traumas. Her ex and how while she doesn't like him, he's still sometimes in her mind. How she got sexually assaulted not too long before we met. And that she's sorry but she's not in the right head space right now and she needed time.

I obviously agreed, but after 2 months of talking her texts became less frequent, she stopped asking me about how I was and I was basically carrying every conversation. All the while I'd always nag her about being my girlfriend again.

I got resentful, I started overthinking everything, I'd try to be sweet and I'd get not much back. One day I drank about 9 beers and sent her one last text "is there any chance this still works out"?

She said that there's still a lot of issues in her life at the moment. And I kinda snapped, I never outright insulted her but I made it clear she's been causing me anxiety and sleepless nights for weeks (all true) and that I don't want to talk to her anymore.

Little did I know her father was in the hospital after suffering a massive heart attack and was in a coma.

She blocked me, after coming to my senses I messaged her on another account and somehow convinced her to stay friends after apologising profusely.

And now I'm in this weird limbo, deep down I know she'll never like me that way again. She probably doesn't even want me as a friend, it's probably pity.

I'm trying to improve my life but I cry myself to sleep every night. I barely eat, and her face never leaves my mind. I want her so bad but it's over, she told me she hopes I find someone that makes me happy.

But I can't even look at other women anymore, I've never had a serious relationship and I doubt I will. I really thought this was it, the moment everything works out.

Thank you to anyone who read this.