Doing this in a couple weeks. I'm stopping in Pullman for a night and then continuing on to Idaho. Will take the more direct route back through Eastern Oregon.
Does anyone have any recommendations along the way? I'm planning to see the Palouse when I stop over in Pullman. I heard that McCall, ID, is kind of a cool town.
The raw video: https://youtu.be/Je3tXmLsGaM?si=\_4rrSBY93E6W\_iR8
I get a lot of attention from old men on the apps. I'm talking, like, 50+ men. Crusty old geezers who look like their breath would smell like some decrepit combination of cigarettes, alcohol, and impending senility. Many of whom look like they've gone through a recent midlife crisis with pictures of motorcycles, tattoos, or blowing smoke into the camera.
Like a lot of men, they don't realize I'm trans until they've had a second (or third or fourth) glance at my profile. Hinge does this bizarre thing where it doesn't show my demographic characteristics (i.e., trans woman) until about halfway down the page past a couple photos, a voice memo, a choose-your-own adventure type prompt, and so on. Lots of guys don't scroll down far enough to see it. And I know, I know, just put the trans flag emoji next to my name or something like that. Agreed that that'd resolve the conundrum, but I don't want to portray myself as some sort of activist or other hello-i-am-trans-as-my-whole-personality type. No disrespect, but I'm just not about that.
Anyway, one small joy in my life consists of accepting literally every and any man over 50+ and waiting until they notice that I'm trans. It typically takes them a few conversational turns until they figure out that the woman they're talking to isn't the woman they thought they matched with. This isn't exclusive to old men, of course. A lot of the men I match with have that realization at some point and then summarily unmatch. But with old men, the unmatch rate approaches (if not is equal to) 100%.
It tickles me pink to imagine the old guy in depth. After having matched with me, he's privately celebrated that he'll be going on a date with a hot young blondie. Maybe he has a jilted ex-wife or myriad friends who have their lives together, and he's eager to show them a reason to be jealous of him. Then, after a few rounds of conversation and his excitement growing in tandem, he takes a second look at my profile. It makes me giddy to imagine the crestfallen expression on his face as he realizes that I'm a trans woman and so all of his dreams of stoking feelings of envy in his friends and exes come crashing down.
That moment makes matching with these old men worth it. I laugh a little every time one of them unmatches with me.
Can anyone relate?
I like to leave a 20% tip when I order food from a restaurant. I have heard from redditors that this is no longer (or should no longer be) a common practice in Seattle, and so I'm aware that I'm one of the few people who leave a tip on a consistent basis.
There are times when I get odd reactions from the people who work at the restaurant after they've seen that I left a tip. Sometimes, they feel obligated to make small talk with me by asking me how my day is or what my weekend plans are. Other times, they offer me small tokens of appreciation, like napkins, utensils, a cup for water, sauce packets, and other accoutrements, and they are sometimes puzzled when I say I don't need them. Occasionally, they look at me befuddled, especially if I just tipped 20% for a to-go order at a rinky-dink little snack shack. There's one place that feels the need to reward me by giving me more food than I asked for once they see my generous tip.
I had my clock cleaned the last time I explained why I tip to reddit. I have been sorta depressed for a while now but eating out remains a joy in my life, and so I feel compelled to leave a tip, especially at places I go to regularly, because I appreciate them so much. As explained to me in the past, I fully acknowledge that this is a form of selfishness dressed up as altruism on my part. Moreover, I don't think anyone else should feel obligated to tip, so I hope we can avoid the tired old debates about the necessity of tipping here.
Instead, I would be curious to know from restaurant workers: (1) how common is it for customers to tip; (2) do you typically notice when a customer tips; and, if so, (3) do you feel a need to treat them differently from non-tipping customers?
I was walking past the Safeway on Market this afternoon when a man locked eyes with me from a distance away. He stared at me and then darted into the shrubbery between the sidewalk and the parking lot while I braced myself for the impending interaction. He flashed some cash at me and asked for something. I said no and then he said, "It's because I'm [slur] black, isn't it!?" I walked away but then looked behind me to make sure he wasn't following me and he yelled something else at me.
It's not uncommon to be asked for things or to be yelled at by random people around here, so I normally wouldn't think anything of it. I don't want to racially profile an innocent beggar and so please call me out if I'm being unfair here, but he did match the suspect's description and I have been on edge since hearing about the murder as we're just a short bus ride away from the U District and I'm a trans woman (not visibly trans, but y'know, still).
If nothing else, keep your head on a swivel, I guess.
I appreciate his honesty rather than stringing me along, but I'm tired boss 🥲
Posting this for my friend who does not have a reddit account.
My friend has been at her wits' end about her neighbors. I guess he is in a band or something, and he brings his band over to practice most nights of the week. She said sometimes they keep practice to afternoon, but they often go late into the night including past midnight.
It's not even so much that she can't sleep while they're practicing, it's also that she feels like she can't relax at home without feeling like she's living in a concert venue.
She exchanged numbers with the guy, and sometimes he agrees to end practice early but other times not. In their most recent conversation about it, he wrote something about celebrating women and even invited her over to his apartment. He even attached a video of his band practicing in his apartment. I think the video is an apt depiction of how noisy his band practice is, so I've attached it to this post alongside the screenshots she sent me:
Video: https://streamable.com/zumqna
I don't have a whole lot of faith in landlords enforcing quiet hours and I don't really see how she could drown out the sheer intensity of the musical cacophony next door. So I really don't know what to tell her. Anyone have any ideas?
First, this is not about politics. No political discussion please.
I live in a very progressive neighborhood in a very progressive city, and so because of that the majority of the men I encounter on dating apps or in day-to-day life are very progressive. They truly believe in their heart of hearts that trans women are women. I love that and I wouldn't want them to be any other way.
That said, we all know that a lot of men aren't open to dating us. There are a bunch of different reasons for this, and I won't beat a dead horse by reiterating all of them. Most men quickly say lolno or swipe left and then move on.
But I keep noticing this phenomenon with progressive men in particular where they struggle to say no but they also struggle to say yes. I think it's because their heartfelt belief that trans women are women is in conflict with their disinterest in dating a transgender woman. "I'm a straight man who is attracted to women, and I believe that trans women are women, so I should be attracted to a trans woman, but gahdamn I don't wanna date a trans woman."
How can I avoid men who are struggling with this phenomenon? It's embarrassing to be taken out on pity dates by them or for them to string me along while they figure things out. Does anyone have any tips for how to detect this phenomenon ahead of time?
I matched with a guy on a dating app a few days ago. We haven't met in person yet, but he makes good conversation and he checks a lot of boxes for me. He went quiet for a day and a half and then sent me this message:
>So, sorry, I have been slow to respond and should talk about it. I love the idea of matching with someone I share a lot of interests with. I'm divorced because, well, I didn't marry someone who was my best friend, as the cliche goes. So that's what I'm looking for and honestly I feel like we could exchange discord info and hang out. But I've been slow because I've also never matched with a Trans person and I'm genuinely unsure yet how my body responds to that idea. What I don't want is to indecisively ghost you, so I think the better thing is just to tell you where I'm at and ask your input.
>If you want, I'd like to talk more about our interests and find a game to play together. But that might not lead anywhere, and spending time with someone who is unsure of their preferences probably isn't why you're on this app. What are your thoughts and perhaps what games are you into?
Uh, how would you all interpret this? Have I been friendzoned and this guy's just trying to be nice about it? Have I encountered a guy who isn't a chaser and is being candid with me here?
I live in a part of the country where the cops don't typically arrive for 911 calls except for particularly dire circumstances.
I live alone and it has made me a little bit nervous to think that I wouldn't be able to count on the cops if someone were to break into my place. I'd be on my own to handle the situation.
However, I recently learned of a loophole from the good people of reddit: if you tell the 911 operator that you have a gun, then they practically get on speed dial with the cops before you can even finish your sentence.
This got me wondering... While I'm not sure that I could hurt another person, even if they were breaking into my home (I'm simply too good of a person, I'm sure you understand), I do wonder whether I could make it sound like I'm going to in order to summon the cops for my own defense.
For example, if someone were breaking into my home and I said to the 911 operator, "I've got my gun on me, and I'm about to pop this motherfucker if he makes his way into my living room," and then the 911 operator panics and hits the holy-fucking-shit-what-is-your-address-i-am-sending-the-cops-right-now button, and then the police arrive on the scene and they realize, "Wait a minute, this bitch don't even got a gun, what are we even doing here? Ohhh she lied..." then would I get in trouble for that?