u/drowningindarkness-

I’ve gone from morbidly obese to healthy BMI! I’m delighted 😀 HW 137+ (kg) sw 125, conversion surgery 85, CW 70.

The weird thing is I feel no difference in my body. I still expect people to analyse/criticise what I eat, roll their eyes when I browse normal clothing, or have teenagers mutter insults as they pass me. I still feel huge. It stuns me to have people comment I’m getting thin, don’t need to lose weight, and blows my mind that stuff I bought pre-op (my previously “slimmer” clothes) are now way too big to wear.

Anyone else hate how much people look at/comment on their bodies now?

I’m obsessed with True Romance, and missed the discon message, so have been trying to source any in stock, without any joy.

I spotted on the UK site there’s a Comforter Rose mb that says it’s “formerly known as True Romance”. Can anyone confirm this is permanent? I would happily order from the UK except for the heat wave and zero faith they’d arrive even vaguely intact. I can wait though for local roll out if it’s coming back renamed.

I’m engaged with an amazing therapist- kind, funny, and so perceptive it’s quite disturbing. We’re getting into themes and their origin, and emotions, which is hard given I’ve suppressed/compartmentalised/intellectualised/shut down any big feelings for… well… ages?

I’m struggling though that now that we’re actually talking the stuff that kicks me, I’m having a hard time with dissociating. I try to stay present, but it’s just too strong, and the dissociative shutdown and complete freeze responses are rolling in thick and fast. I feel ashamed of this and my lack of control. The intensity of the feelings is like a vortex, sucking me down until I’m having intense flashbacks. Feel like I can’t win. Drown in feeling or shut down.

Is there light at the end of this tunnel?

I’m engaged in trauma therapy after decades of depression and anxiety. It’s definitely not the superficial type of work! I’ve noticed after most sessions I have a few days of feeling “knocked”, stunned, wanting to withdraw and very introspective and low. I then come right, well as much as I do, and then we repeat again. If we make a deliberate effort to be light and goofy, this doesn’t happen. My therapist said this “hangover” is the processing after a heavy session, with good learning/growth from this, and lighter sessions have less learning but still have a place. I’m curious to know if this is common, both for clients, and a known expected aspect of therapy.