u/dynamitecait

So we now know when Agnes confronts Garth and asks where “she” is and “I could hear her screaming” in the season sneak peek that she was referring to Becka.

I have a couple of theories for the rest of the season:

- Aunts took Becka, not Eyes, peep the dresses. I think Mackenzie did Becka a favor and either Paula doesn’t know it wasn’t Eyes or she does and she’s pissed about how this could screw up her standing in Gilead, aka the “what did you do?” Moment in the season sneak peek. That doesn’t mean that this is Aunt training, though. This could still be punishment by the Aunts. Becka could say she has a divine calling due to her comments after murdering her father, maybe she is being put through some things by the Aunts as a test to see if she stands by what she says before officially becoming an Aunt in training.

- Whether or not she becomes an Aunt yet is unclear, which makes me wonder if Becka could become the Mackenzie’s handmaid as the true breaking point for Agnes.

- I’m also starting to become suspicious of Paula and her motivations. It would not surprise me if the show takes a turn and she murders Mackenzie and blames the Marthas, which would be another thing that breaks Agnes down, as she has such a loving relationship with them. If Becka as a handmaid is what makes Agnes rebel and she is no longer eligible to be wed on top of her father’s murder, maybe Paula takes her place, or she ends up with Maddox. I lean towards Weston though, it felt like there was some tension between them that could be sexual. Maybe she intended to kill Mackenzie down the line and he Agnes so that they could end up together, but Agnes being ineligible speeds up the process, thus putting a twist on her story in the book.

- Definitely feels like Daisy and Garth are going to be matched now and Garth is going to have a hard time reeling in Daisy’s anger and vengeful streak, much like June and Nick.

- Which, given Daisy’s antics, I’m really thinking Daisy is still Nichole, idc. Who’s to say Nichole didn’t end up with the caregivers she did because Holly was too old to care for her or she died?

EDIT: scratch my Daisy ➡️ Nichole mention. I am constantly forgetting her TV show age vs the book.

So we now know when Agnes confronts Garth and asks where “she” is and “I could hear her screaming” in the season sneak peek that she was referring to Becka.

I have a couple of theories for the rest of the season:

- Aunts took Becka, not Eyes, peep the dresses. I think Mackenzie did Becka a favor and either Paula doesn’t know it wasn’t Eyes or she does and she’s pissed about how this could screw up her standing in Gilead, aka the “what did you do?” Moment in the season sneak peek. That doesn’t mean that this is Aunt training, though. This could still be punishment by the Aunts. Becka could say she has a divine calling due to her comments after murdering her father, maybe she is being put through some things by the Aunts as a test to see if she stands by what she says before officially becoming an Aunt in training.

- Whether or not she becomes an Aunt yet is unclear, which makes me wonder if Becka could become the Mackenzie’s handmaid as the true breaking point for Agnes.

- I’m also starting to become suspicious of Paula and her motivations. It would not surprise me if the show takes a turn and she murders Mackenzie and blames the Marthas, which would be another thing that breaks Agnes down, as she has such a loving relationship with them. If Becka as a handmaid is what makes Agnes rebel and she is no longer eligible to be wed on top of her father’s murder, maybe Paula takes her place, or she ends up with Maddox. I lean towards Weston though, it felt like there was some tension between them that could be sexual. Maybe she intended to kill Mackenzie down the line and he Agnes so that they could end up together, but Agnes being ineligible speeds up the process, thus putting a twist on her story in the book.

- Definitely feels like Daisy and Garth are going to be matched now and Garth is going to have a hard time reeling in Daisy’s anger and vengeful streak, much like June and Nick.

- Which, given Daisy’s antics, I’m really thinking Daisy is still Nichole, idc. Who’s to say Nichole didn’t end up with the caregivers she did because Holly was too old to care for her or she died?

EDIT: scratch my Daisy is Nichole mention, I constantly forget that her book age is different from the show.

My 4YO had a lot of time to practice physical skills as a baby, she was walking by 11 months and has always been fearless. My 12MO has her first birthday next week and won't even stand up unassisted unless she's holding onto something. She's a very hesitant baby, so I like to spend as much time as I possibly can (SAHM) trying to practice these kinds of skills. The problem is that my toddler interrupts every possible second and either wants to 'practice' the skills too or she will grab/push/move/distract the baby when she's in the middle of doing a skill, completely deterring it.

If the baby is holding onto the table but lets go for a second to practice standing solo, the toddler will notice and nudge her to the floor. If I'm practicing walking with her w/ a push walker, the toddler will try to take the walker. If we're practicing climbing by trying to climb the stairs (baby is very scared of stairs, toddler was doing stairs by 9MO), toddler will throw a tantrum because she wants to climb the stairs, too, and if I don't allow it she'll yell the baby's name repeatedly to get her attention so she's not focusing on the stairs.

Don't get me wrong, we're definitely in the middle of sibling rivalry rn, and the toddler desperately wants my attention at all times if it's on the baby. I've done solo days with the toddler, solo play time 1-on-1 when baby is sleeping, positive reinforcement when she's gentle and kind with baby, etc. she likes to be a 'helper tiger' (Daniel tiger IYKYK) and I allow her to help anytime it's safe to do so.

I also try to practice these skills w/ baby when I have my toddler do quiet time in her bedroom, but it doesn't always line up the way I'd like it to.

I'm trying my best, but I'm still dealing with this issue w/ her and the baby and I feel like baby is 'behind' due to it, cue the mom guilt.

Did anyone else deal with this? How on earth do you do it?

I’m just looking for some advice and solidarity. I have two littles (4YO and 12 months).

My husband is an engineer and essentially picks when he clocks in and that will change when he clocks out. Before I ever got pregnant, we discussed that he should be coming home at a good time, since he was working late nights before baby (coming home often at 9pm).

Fast forward to now and it hasn’t really gotten better. This is mostly because he sleeps in until around 8:30/9am every morning, takes over an hour to actually get out the door, then has a 45 minute commute. Most days he does not get home until 7pm at the earliest, with at least 2-3 days being more like 8pm.

We’ve had discussions about this before. He wakes up at his leisure, gets to lay in bed and go on his phone for a while, take a 45 minute poop in silence, sometimes take a morning shower, and THEN get a 45 minute drive to work in silence. I wake up when the kids wake up (7:30/8am) and immediately have to clock in. Hop out of bed, change diapers, make breakfast, take the dog out, answer a million questions from my four year old. I don’t get a lunch break. I don’t get a commute home in silence. Some days I seethe in jealousy when he tells me he’s stuck in traffic and will be home late.

There is never a consistent time that he will be home so I can never plan ahead, and he never tells me if he’ll be late. I can hardly reach him during the day to get a gauge on what the day looks like. No matter what time he gets home, the most help that I get is putting the toddler to bed while I put the baby to bed. And because he’s gone all day, the toddler bedtime process takes forever because he stretches it out to give her some attention since he’s been gone all day long. On long days, he doesn’t see our 12MO at all because she’s asleep when he gets home. By the time he walks out of our toddlers room at night it is often past 10pm. I can barely keep my eyes open at that point, and he often still expects me to either want to have discussions or have sex.

I am so burnt out. I’m working 12+ hour days. I’m pulling my hair out from stress. I’m so detached from myself I feel like I’m not even here, I’m just a vessel keeping my kids alive. On good days we’re all having fun and doing activities and I’m practicing VPK skills and etc. on bad days (more often when I’m burnt out) my toddler’s watching a lot of movies as I clean the house and try not to snap at every pushback or question. I’m pouring wine at 5pm. I’m desperately trying to be normal and be a person, but I don’t feel like I am.

All of the hobbies I once had… it feels like there’s no time left in the day for anything that would be for me. And if I DO find time for them it’s at the expense of something else and then I feel selfish or lazy. I’m lucky to get any time on weekends, either.

To anyone in a similar boat, howwwww are you managing? How do you do it? What advice do you have? Because I’ve been through this cycle of burnout dozens of times at this point. When I get to my breaking point my husband lets me go spend one night in a hotel to relax, but that’s after being at the worst stage of burnout and by having to really push to spend the money to go have a day alone. And then I come back feeling better enough, but the cycle repeats. I don’t want to have to get to the very worst parts of burnout to get a reprieve.

I’m so tired.