u/ellabella20000

I’m 42 at the end of the month. I’ve been on this IVF journey since I was 38. I had very poor responses until I moved to a new clinic.

My 6th cycle was a really good one. It came out of nowhere. I had 8 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilized and 3 were blasts. 2 of those were euploids and the other was frozen untested due to awkward placenta cells.

Then I thought I’d try one more time to increase my odds so I did cycle number 7. This one was really hard. It took a massive toll on my body and my response was not the greatest. I started with 12 AFC but only 5 follicles responded. I almost didn’t go through with it. My doctor convinced me because the follicles were all evenly sized.

We ended up retrieving 6 eggs! 4 fertilised and 3 became day 5 4AA blasts. I got the PGT result today and 2 are euploid!!

I cannot believe it. My doctor said this is the response you’d expect from a 30 year old.

6 embryos and 4 euploids is a 67% conversion rate.

I’m trying to find a reason behind it all because my history has been abysmal. I asked him what it could have been that changed it all. He said as much as science can explain certain things, there are others we don’t question, we just take the blessings.

I had a miscarriage a year ago, and the FET is terrifying to me but I’m giving it a shot at the end of the month.

I have no one to talk to about this and I wanted to share it. I hope it’s ok.

IVF warrior here! I’ve been at this solid for 3 years. 7 retrievals, 1 miscarriage.

Despite the efforts this process has done to tear my down and break me apart, I’m feeling grateful.

Here are the things I’m grateful for today.

What are yours?

1. Doctor can no longer use my age as a defining factor.
I did several rounds before I was even 40 and I retrieved max 2 eggs per cycle. At 42 years old, I’m retrieving 8 eggs per cycle and I’m making 50% blasts and 70% euploids. My doctor has always thrown the age card at me. I’ve never felt as old as IVF has made me. And now, I’ve proven him wrong.

2. Banked embryos
I have 2 euploids banked and 5 untested which gives me an above 80% chance of a live birth.

3. Finance
I feel ever so grateful that my position in life has allowed me to proceed with as many transfers as I could to get the euploids. I understand this is a luxury for a lot of people and I don’t take it for granted.

4. Acceptance
I have been able to give myself a limit of 8 cycles before I know it’s time to move on. I have one cycle left before I start transfers. I have accepted there’s a possibility none will work. It’s taken a long time, but I’m finally ok with that outcome.

5. Resilience
Before I started my IVF journey, I was terrified of everything. My stress levels and anxiety were through the roof. Having been through this arduous process has made me so much stronger and able to withstand a lot more in life. Strangely that’s helped with my anxiety and fear. I feel so powerful and in control despite this being a process we have zero control of.

6. Appreciation of my body
The fact that it has been able to defy the odds against my age and past cycles that failed, my body is a miracle to me. I love every part of it despite how this process has changed it.

7. Acknowledgment
Hearing other people’s journeys, friends and strangers has given me an appreciation for other people’s struggles. It’s made me realise that we all have our own path and each one of those paths is special. There is no front runner or lagger. I’m not triggered by anyone’s success. I’m just grateful that I have all of the above!

I’m just terrified about my unborn child and my abusive husband and where this is going to lead when I leave him. It’s not safe for me and it’s not safe for the baby.

I am in Australia. I want to hear from others who’ve been in a domestic abuse environment who’ve succeeded in getting sole custody without visitation rights to their children and the steps you had to go through.

I’m trying to logically and strategically think about my future without getting emotions involved. This is a very complex situation and it’s easy to spiral, but for now, I just need facts.

This is a very difficult post for me to write.

My husband has always been hot headed. There’s always been a side to him that gets a little more aggressive than is required. Not just with me, but with anyone. It’s mostly when he’s made to feel unintelligent or when he perceives his character is being degraded. He turns into a little man child and does this weird voice like almost a cry. Over the years it’s become very off putting but I’ve kind of tried to move past it. The relationship has become more strained during IVF. Not because of finances or anything you’d expect, but because I’ve only now realised what he’s like in situations when I’m medically affected. He’s negligent and really horrible to me. It’s gotten so bad. I’d never felt physically threatened by him, until now. I won’t go into detail because this post isn’t about a relationship.

This is a post looking for people who can relate. Please don’t post any judgements.

It’s so difficult for me right now that I’m desperately trying to make the right decision rationally and legally on how to move forward.

Over the last three years, we’ve done 7 rounds of IVF, all of which have been paid out of pocket - by me. We are doing this because we have MFI. I don’t have any infertility factors.

We have 2 euploids and waiting for PGT on 3 more embryos. I’m 42 and I feel like this was my last shot. I certainly know that I cannot afford IVF anymore because I’ve used all my life savings.

I want to leave him, I’m scared of losing my embryos.

A part of me wants to just be quiet and wait it out until after the transfer, although I know how stupid that is. Still, I can’t erase the thought. So many years, so much heartbreak, grief and money has gone into those embryos. It’s very hard to reconcile this.

It’s very hard to get rid of them.

There is no way he would allow me to use those embryos if I leave him or file a domestic violence order against him.

A part of me doesn’t want to birth his child.

I am really truly fundamentally stuck in life and I lose whichever way I go.

I feel like just waiting to get pregnant and moving on is my only option, but I wonder if that’s the worst thing I can do?

I wonder if there’s anyone who’s ever done this? Or am I alone?

I can’t afford to see a lawyer and I have no one to help me. I’m in Australia and it’s made to sound like I have so many options, but I have tried them and I haven’t gotten any closer to being helped. I have to wait until a divorce is finalized (12 months) before I can access donor sperm. I’ll be 43 then. The road to produce embryos has already been difficult as it is.

IVF is the loneliest journey, but for me, it feels like I no longer even have myself.

I guess I just want to connect with people who’ve been in an equally difficult position.

I just completed 2 rounds in 2 months. I’m
41 and my AMh last tested was 15pmol (2.2ng).

The first cycle I did, I got 8 eggs collected, all mature, 5 fertilised and made 3 blasts:

Day 5 4BA - euploid
Day 6 4BB - euploid
Day 6 4AB - frozen untested

The second cycle I did I got 6 eggs collected, all mature, 5 fertilized and made 3 blasts (Waiting PGT)

Day 5 4AA
Day 5 4AA
Day 6 4AB

What are the chances that I get any euploids in this batch considering the results of my last one? My embryos this time around are day 5s and better gradings, but I feel like my euploid luck ran out in the last batch 😭

This was my last cycle so I’ve put a lot of pressure on it.

The statistics say that I may get 0-1 euploids out of this next batch but I’m wanting to feel a little more hopeful than that.

Has anyone had a similar result and gotten euploids in 2 or more rounds at 41?

I should mention that I’ve been doing IVF since 37 and my previous cycles have been abysmal. These were cycles 6 and 7 for me.

TW: mention of successes

I’ve done 7 cycles!! Countless injections, miscarriage, failure to retrieve eggs, empty follicles. Bad news after bad news. I was only ever able to get 1-2 eggs per cycle.

Then I kind of gave up. Even though I was 41 and time was not on my side, I felt like i needed a break. It wasn’t working anyway, so I sort of threw the towel in.

Six months later, I had joined a new clinic and engaged a naturopath. I decided to give it one more shot and I threw everything at it.

At 42 and 10 months I did two back to back cycles.

Cycle 6: 8 eggs retrieved, all mature, 5 fertilized, 3 embryos, 2 euploids, one frozen untested.

Cycle 7: 6 eggs retrieved, all mature, 4 fertilized, 3 embryos sent for PGT.

I’m just so elated by my fertilization and blast rate. My doctor didn’t expect this at all at my age. No one really knows why things have turned, and the medical system refuses to acknowledge that the naturopath probably helped somewhere along the line.

I don’t know how the PGT will go this time, but having 3 increases the odds of at least 1 normal.

I wanted to share with those who are losing hope that things can change. And the biggest lesson I learnt is to listen to and trust your body. It’s your most valuable tool.

——-

UPDATE:

Just had a call from my FS. Embryos are:

2 x day 5 4AA
1 x day 6 4AB

I’m so hanging on for one of the 4AAs to be normal!!!!

As the title suggests, my fertility specialist is very negative when it comes to my case and it’s actually destroyed me. I’m hoping to hear unbiased opinions from embryologists on where I stand so that I can make an informed decision about my future.

I don’t have time or funds to seek a second opinion from another FS at this stage.

I turn 42 next month.

I’ve done 7 cycles. The first 3 were a poor response to meds, because the protocol wasn’t right for me.

Cycle 1: 2 retrieved, 2 fertilised, 1 blast
Cycle 2: 2 retrieved, 2 fertilised, 1 blast
Cycle 3: 2 retrieved, 2 fertilised, 1 blast
Cycle 4: 5 retrieved, 2 fertilised, 1 blast
Cycle 5: 0 retrieved (suspected virus or trigger error)
Cycle 6: 8 retrieved, 5 fertilized, 3 blasts
Cycle 7: 6 retrieved, 5 fertilised, waiting blast results

My eggs have been 100% mature each cycle.

Even with small numbers, I made a high quality 4AA or 4AB blast

Cycle 6 produced 2 euploids with 1 embryo frozen untested.

I went for cycle 7 to try my luck to get one more blast at least. I felt good about it because I had 12 even follicles at baseline and it was immediately after my best cycle.

My doctor made me feel like absolute shit and kept referring to me “history” and what would be a good outcome for my “history”.

I reiterated to him that my fertilization rates have been great, so have been my blast rates, but he kept saying to me that I’ve just gotten lucky and I shouldn’t expect that again or I’ll be disappointed.

I am disappointed. I’m sad and defeated. I spent money on this cycle and I’m expecting nothing. And if I do get nothing, it’ll ascertain his negative view on my outcomes.

I’m stuck in a rut of reading, looking at stats, applying them to myself, looking for everything I can to confirm that he is right. I do my very best to convince myself that I’ll have no blasts from this round.

I’m feeling so tired and I want to hear from someone else.

What do you think? Is this hopeless? Is he right that I just got lucky?

Hi everyone!

Just posting this in case it helps others. I’ve done 7 IVF cycles.

Cycle 1-3 Protocal A:

gonal-f, Orgalutran and HCG trigger.
1-2 eggs retrieved each cycle, 1 fertilized each cycle.

Cycle 4-5 Protocol B:

menopur, Orgalutran, and HCG + decapeptyl trigger taken at the same time.
5 eggs retrieved, 2 fertilized. 0 eggs retrieved in cycle 5.

Then my doctor changed my trigger to a dual trigger, which meant having the decapeptyl 2 hours before the HCG allowing my ovaries a longer time to mature the eggs.

Cycle 6-7 Protocol C:

menopur Orgalutran and HCG + decapeptyl “dual” trigger
8 eggs retrieved, all mature. 5 fertilized, 3 embryos
6 eggs retrieved, all mature. 4 fertilised (found out today).

The menopur helped me grow more follicles, but it wasn’t until we split the trigger than my maturity and blast rate improved significantly. So if you’re in a position where your maturity rate is low, have a chat to your doctor about the dual trigger! It was a massive gamble at the start because it risked early ovulation, but it ended up being the best thing we did!

I’m doing a back to back cycle for the very first time in my IVF journey. This is cycle 7.

All of my others had a break in between to let my body repair. Aside from the one with the longest break (6 months), the others didn’t really give me any better result. I also read somewhere that eggs develop across 90 days so if there’s a batch of good quality eggs in one cycle, the next one can capture the same cohort too. Kind of like “strike while the iron is hot”.

When I took the 6 month break, I also added a bunch of supplements based on my naturopaths guidance. The cycle I then did gave me 2 euploids. I’m doing cycle 7 back to back to hopefully tap into the same cohort.

I guess I’d like to hear from others who’ve done back to back, both being successful cycles.

My ER is tomorrow. 8 follicles showing on scan but expecting 5-6 eggs only. I’m 41. Last cycle has 8 follicles on scan, expected 5-6 eggs, retrieved 8. 3 blasts, 2 euploids, one frozen ingested.

TW: mention of success

I just had my final scan before I trigger. Trigger will be on Wednesday and collection is on Friday, so I technically have 3 more stim shots and 3 more days to grow my follicles.

For context, this is my final round. I can’t afford any others. In my previous round, we collected 8 eggs and I got 2 euploids + 1 frozen untested. My doctor said I need 3 per live birth so because I’m about to turn 42, I’m going in for my last shot.

I’m aware that I’ve been really lucky so far, but because I have only 1 cycle left in me, I need to make sure that it’s worth doing, so I’m hoping to get some opinions on my follicle sizes from others with similar results. If I’m likely to collect only 4 eggs, I’ll cancel and try again later. But anything from 5+ I’ll consider going ahead (keeping attrition in mind).

My FS is very vague and pessimistic, and every time I talk to him, I feel hopeless. Last time he said to only expect 5 eggs, we got 8, so I don’t know anymore.

I had 11 AFC on day 2. Mid cycle scan saw only 5 responded, by cycle day 12 (today), there was 8 but some of the sizes were questionable.

Right ovary: 18, 17, 15, 15, 15

Left ovary: 14, 13, 13

Anyone has similar sizes a few days before trigger? How did you go?

I get my estrogen tested on Wednesday.

TW: mention of some success

As the title suggests, this process has taken away my ability to be happy about anything. And by that I mean, I’m happy in the moment, but as it passes, I find ways to convince myself that something bad is about to happen.

For example, I’ve had 5 poor response cycles where I got only 1-2 eggs. I always produced a blast, but none were normal. In my 6th cycle which was done at nearly 42, I suddenly got 8 mature eggs, 5 fertilised and of those, I got 3 embryos. One of them was hatching so they froze it without PGT. The other two however were sent off.

PGT here takes 2 weeks but I got a call from my doctor about 5 days in to tell me that both embryos were euploid. I was happy, but not at the same time. I badly wanted to enjoy this victory but my mind was flooded with

What if they don’t survive the thaw
What if their grades aren’t good enough
What if there’s something wrong with them
What if they don’t implant
What if there’s something wrong with me that I don’t know about that’ll ultimately prevent me from getting pregnant

I’m so completely sick of these thoughts. They consume my life. I have turned my calls on screen mode because every time my phone rings, I get a hot adrenal rush that sends me into a panic. I can’t answer the phone. When it rang, despite my embryos being perfectly safe and frozen, I think it’s the lab calling me to tell me something has gone wrong.

It’s been 2 whole months and I still feel the same way. I can’t make it stop.

I had a dream last night that there was a fire at the lab and my embryos were burnt down.

I’m currently in the middle of cycle 7. At baseline, I had 12 even follicles and my estrogen jumped from 200 to 1600 in a matter of 3 days which means an excellent response (according to the clinic). However, tomorrow being my mid cycle scan day, I fear the follicles haven’t actually responded.

Even when I get good news, I can’t believe it’s true.

I feel like only people in this forum understand how difficult it is to live like this. I hate IVF for the joy it’s taken from me and I cannot be grateful for the small successes along the way because it’s all too fucking much.

After a harrowing three-year IVF journey, we finally got a confirmed euploid. Not just 1, but 2!!! When it’s so hard for you to produce eggs, you always feel like the odds are stacked against you.

I just need to tell someone and I don’t know who would understand this feeling. It’s so mixed and all over the place and confusing because the trauma I’ve suffered for so long simply doesn’t just disappear, it’s lives on, it’s shaped who I am and now it’s trying to find its place in this new trajectory. I had given up.

In this cycle:

My chance of getting 0 euploids was 65% (huge)

My chance of getting 1 was 35%

My chance I’d getting 2 was 4% (minuscule!)

By some grace of god, or the universe, I’m in the 4% group.

I don’t know why my body decided to do so much better this round. I don’t know if it’s the supplements or my stats or state of mind but everything literally changed overnight for me. I was only ever able to get 2 eggs max per retrieval, my second last ER I got ZERO. I did this last round only because the clinic refunded me some money due to a clerical error. It was my best round yet. 8 eggs, 5 fertilized, 3 embryos (1 frozen untested, 2 PGT normal).

In my whole entire life, I have never felt like a lucky person. I’ve never won anything or beat the odds. I’ve lived very humbly and learnt to accept disappointment as though it was meant for me.

But today, I feel really lucky 🥹

Hoping one of these becomes my miracle baby.

Ahh where do I start.

I’ve done 6 cycles and I’ve gotten 7 embryos total. I’m 41, 42 in July.

Out of those 7 embryos, 1 was a miscarriage, 2 are currently frozen but untested. 2 are awaiting PGT and 2 were abnormal.

I asked my lab for the PGT report and on my 4AA tested embryo, I realized that it was actually a euploid, meaning it had all of the correct chromosomes and framework but it had a very random and rare microdeletion which is marked as a complete anomaly considering our karyotype came back clear.

So at first I was kind of happy, because at my age, I at least got a euploid out of 4 embryos (the others came later). The microdeletion is not age related and can happen to anyone - fist time IVF hasn’t pointed a finger and laughed at me for being old.

But now, after looking at statistics on success, I’m so devastated. At my age only 1 out of 5-6 embryos are likely to be normal. If I have only 7 of them, then it’s close to impossible to have two euploids in my bank. Considering my euploid in this batch was damaged by a freak of nature f***** deletion, I feel so f***** angry because it’s taken me $60,000 and 6 damn cycles to get to this point and I just can’t do anymore.

I want to scream.

After all the horrible and traumatic things I’ve been through to get here, knowing my euploid was f**** by a RANDOM MICRODELETION is just the worst luck. Don’t know what I did to deserve this.

I also did some research on how the 1/5-6 embryo probability stats were achieved, specifically asking if it factors in non-age related abnormalities like microdeletions AND IT DOESN’T. So not only am I contending with the age factor but I got blown an extra little special one.

F*** YOU UNIVERSE. THANKS A LOT.

I had ER on Monday and it’s now Saturday.

My collection was done at around 12.20pm and my eggs were fertilized using ICSI between 2pm and 4pm.

I had 8 eggs and 5 fertilised.

My report today came back with:

1 blast, which looked like “a really good blast” with “nice big cells” but the trophectoderm wasn’t developed enough so they couldn’t PGT it today. They’ll try again tomorrow.

2 morulas which were on their way to blast stage

1 lagging behind which looked like a day 3/4, so they’re giving it a chance for another day to see if it’ll catch up

1 dropped off early.

I’m concerned because the day 5 update came before day 5 technically happened. They called me at 8am to pass on the update. Which is 6-7 hours short of a full 5 days. In embryo development 6-7 hours is significant!!

My biggest fear is that they’ll check them tomorrow at 8am (a few hours before the official end of day 6) and they’ll call it.

I have a history of slow developing embryos. About 50% of them came to blast on day 6, but my grading is always very high (AA or AB).

One time, I had an embryo showing up as day 3 on day 5, they told me to forget about it. They left it in culture until day 6 regardless because of their policy, and on day 6, I got a call saying it actually developed into a 4AA overnight.

I don’t know if I should be hopeful or expect nothing out of this. I’ve had so much bad luck in the past with poor cycles and one retrieving zero eggs, so when I got told this time we had 8, I put a lot of pressure on this cycle to give me something valuable.

Has anyone had a similar situation and still gotten a good number of embryos on day 6/7?