u/emmy_etc

Found a song on YouTube with under 4000 views called chuchu. The creator seems to have a very small audience and the song being obscure isn’t uncommon for her. But it’s a really cool song that deserves more attention

So me and my sister have seen the movie several times, and we both like it. My sister says that there’s two endings to the movie, one where the main character killed his family and one where the hospital was evil. I think that that doesn’t make any sense and that there had to have only been one ending, where the main character killed the family.

I (15F) use to have a group of 3 other friends (all 15M). About a year ago, we started growing apart and our friendship never recovered.

I was in a mentally poor state for a long time, and after a while. I started to hate myself and who I was. At some point, I decided that if I was the person I was, my friends would think my interests were embarrassing and they wouldn’t talk to me anymore. So instead of doing what I usually did, I started lying, and creating a fake personality of myself to let me stay noticeable among my friends.

I thought this was going okay, and for several months it seemed like everything was the same. But I went on a school vacation with them, and the leader of the friend group started acting like a completely different person and lashing out at me. None of the other kids really protested against what he was doing. I tried talking to him about why he was acting that way, and he told me a blatant lie. Nothing changed after that during the trip.

When we got home, they all stopped talking to me nearly as much. They would start hosting hangouts without me, they wouldn’t talk to me at lunch or in the halls. During the summer they(and several other people outside of the friend group) were invited to the leader’s house, while no one ever reached out to me.

I went to a new school with them, but they weren’t really my friends at that point. I tried rekindling the friendship at different points, but none of them ever reciprocated. I still saw them meet up without me, and it hurt so much every time. Then the other day, I offered the leader to hang out during flag day(I needed someone to talk to and I was desperate) he declined, and I knew he was hanging out with the rest of the group. Later that night, he went into a group chat I was in and sent a picture of him and his friends hanging out. I left the group chat and blocked his number, I felt heartbroken.

Some months ago, I learned that the reason why the relationship frayed and ended was because of the new mentality I had developed. I had no idea, but it made so much more sense. This was right before I tried to rekindle the friendship, and when I did, all of them pretty much denied that that was the reason why we grew apart.

I just want to yell at the group leader, ask him why he could never tell me how he felt. Why he couldn’t tell the truth and say why the friendship really ended. Why things had to go how they went. I feel so lonely around now, and looking back at how things used to be vs how they are now makes it sting even harder. AITA?

Edit: I want to clarify

1-I’m asking if it was my fault that the relationship fell apart and if all of this is because of me

2-I was friends with them for between 18 months and 2 years before we stopped talking.

3-I didn’t become a mean person or anything. I stopped talking about anything I cared about and compensating by hyper-fixating on one specific niche. I wasn’t mean, just admittedly annoying

4-This might be a cop out, but I have diagnosed autism and struggle to pick up social cues. They all are also autistic

If you haven’t seen my first post, my sister is a heavily unorthodox Christian who’s used Christianity as an excuse to reject my identity. She’s rejected it for months, refused to put in any effort whatsoever, and acts like who I am is a personal embarrassment to her. We got into an argument and she sent me an anti-gay bible Tiktok so I finally blocked her.

My sister barely acknowledges what happened. She still talks to me as usual and acts like I’m avoiding her for no reason. At school and at home I’ve still been avoiding her.

My mother has been wanting me to resolve things with her and bury the hatchet. I’m not going to, I’m not going to let her back into my life if that means she’s only gonna keep doing what she’s been doing. My mother was initially against me being trans like my sister is, but she’s managed to come around a lot, she now supports me and is helping me start HRT.

My dad doesn’t want to get involved whatsoever, which I’m okay with. Forcing him to pick a side between his children would feel wrong to do. I was always more worried about him being against me, but he’s generally been okay. He was at first against me being out at school, and didn’t want me to at all. He was reluctant to refer to me differently and still is, he mostly avoids pronouns and sticks to nicknames. I know he sticks to my deadname and he/him when I’m not around, but the fact that he puts in effort to my face is good enough for me. He’s also become open to the idea of HRT and attended my first meeting.

Last night, I tried to confront my issue with my sister head on; I would explain why I’ve been avoiding her, tell her how I feel, ask her to back down and try a little, and tell her that I’ll keep avoiding her if she doesn’t. She fully declined, went into an argument, and brought my dad into the room. This seemed to be the worst thing for me, since I thought he would end up siding with her. But he defended me. He talked to my sister about trying to be respectful, about how we need to deescalate and avoid confrontation, and how God tells us to love each other no matter what. In the end, we all dropped the conversation for the night and me and my dad went to the store. The second we left, I hugged him for a minute straight. I almost cried. The fact that he was willing to support me, and that he would go against someone against me, especially if that was my sister, means so much to me. The conflict with my sister is there and will be there for a long time it seems, but I’m still more than happy with how things are going.