u/emotionalfrog123

Hi, just looking for some input about this. I’ve had ocd since I was young. I really struggle with relationship ocd sometimes. My mind will fixate on something and I’ll spiral; usually it ends with me arguing with my partner, and I feel like I devalue him while I’m spiraling. Once I’m out of the spiral, I always have a lot of regret and guilt and realize I wasn’t being fair to him. For example, last night my mind was fixating on this girl that my partner follows on Instagram. I was spiraling because her profile photo is rather…revealing, or promiscuous. Her account is private so I can’t see any posts. I kept fighting with myself, trying to just sit with the feelings and not act on them. But before I went to bed, I asked my partner if he would unfollow her because it made me uncomfortable seeing that he followed a girl with not many clothes on in her profile. He got rather defensive, said she was just someone he used to be friends with in high school and refused to unfollow her. He also said something like “this is probably just your relationship ocd”, and “what, are you going to not let me have any other women in my life at all?” which definitely hurt. He left the room, but I immediately sent him some disrespectful texts. I swear I could physically feel the moment my brain switched from loving and adoring my partner to devaluing him and wanting to leave. I kept sending texts and spiraling, said some stuff I shouldn’t have. After sleeping I woke up and knew I had messed up. I felt like an absolute idiot all day today. I keep having thoughts of hurting myself and I can’t eat anything. I apologized to my partner, but he said he needs time to process. I don’t really want any relationship advice, I’m just wondering if anyone else with ocd has experienced anything like this? For a long time I wondered if I had bpd, because of the way I would freak out at people when I felt triggered, but my therapist didn’t think so. I’m open to input. Please be gentle with me, though, I am in a very fragile state of mind.

What’s the best way to ask for a review? I don’t know why but I feel bad asking to begin with, I know people are busy and I don’t want to annoy them. Is it best to text and ask? Do I ask in person (if they’re home)? Should I not ask at all?? I’m still working on building my clientele so reviews are definitely helpful, but I don’t want to be a nuisance. lol I’m probably overthinking this 🫣

Alright ya’ll, I’m officially confused. I’m an independent house cleaner (sole proprietor), but I want to start doing commercial cleaning. It was my understanding that I should pay sales tax for commercial cleaning to the Texas comptroller, but not residential. But now I’m seeing things online that make me think otherwise. The wording confuses me on the comptroller website. Should I be paying sales tax for residential cleaning??? Advice please!

Update: I just emailed the Texas Comptroller. We shall see what they say! Even ChatGBT wasn’t entirely sure what the correct answer is lol.

We’ve been together a year and like 9 months. My boyfriend is a good person, don’t get me wrong. He’s gentle and sweet to me. He helps buy groceries and cooks dinner sometimes. However… I am so tired of being the only one that cleans!!! I’m lucky if he does the dishes or takes out the trash - I usually have to ask. But I do both of these chores at least 90% of the time. I also wash the towels, wash the bedding and change it, clean the bathroom, vacuum and mop. I clean the kitchen counters, microwave, sink etc. I pick up his trash off the counters and floor almost every day. He doesn’t do anything. I’ve told him it makes me anxious when the apartment is dirty or messy. I’ve asked for more help SO many times. And when I do ask for him to do the dishes it usually takes at least 12-24 hours before he actually does it. And he doesn’t wipe counters or anything when he does them, he just haphazardly fills the dishwasher (and often they don’t get completely clean because they still have food on them). I can’t live like this. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.

A little more context: he doesn’t have the best mental health. But it’s frustrating because neither do I, yet I still take care of the apartment and I’m so exhausted. He also might be on the spectrum, and definitely has ADHD (his words, not mine). So these are factors. But I’m just struggling to know what to do anymore. It doesn’t matter how many times I remind him or explain. Help!!!

^ the question I ask myself nearly everyday. I’m exhausted. Genuinely don’t know how much longer I can handle anything at all. There are a lot of things about my relationship and my boyfriend that bother me often, and I feel unhappy a lot. At the same time he is wonderful in some ways. My mind constantly compares the pros vs the cons. It’s a hellish mental loop. There are also other circumstances in my life that make me unhappy, so I’m not blaming him for all of it at all. However, he broke up with me once. I feel stupid sometimes for begging to come back. Im embarrassed that I was so desperate to not be alone that I went back to the person that abandoned me. I often ruminate about the possibility of him breaking up with me again - and not having 100% certainty that he won’t drives me crazy. Throw abandonment issues and CPTSD into the mix and … I’m lowkey losing my mind.

I’ve had ocd since I was a child, and it’s diagnosed. I’ve had a lot of success with therapy, but I’m in-between therapists right now and so I’m just needing to vent a bit (and I’m open to advice).

Basically, I’ve noticed that my ocd (lately anyways) often latches onto things that have some truth in them. For example, I’m a house cleaner, and I recently was supposed to clean a man’s house. He was going to be there while I cleaned, and my anxiety couldn’t handle it. I was having BAD intrusive thoughts the night before the clean, just imagining all the possibilities about what could happen. But the problem was, there was some truth in my thoughts. Yeah, he *could* be a bad person who *could* hurt me. He was a complete stranger. My ocd couldn’t handle that I couldn’t have 100% certainty that he was safe. I also couldn’t figure out if my intuition was telling me he was unsafe or if it was just my ocd. To make matters worse, people in my life sort of agreed that maybe I should follow my gut and maybe he was a bad person. So I gave in. I cancelled the clean and lost the opportunity to make money, and I reinforced my ocd.

Even more recently, I freaked out at my boyfriend over something that honestly was totally valid to be upset about. But my ocd amplified it so much that I could hear alarms going off in my brain “FIX THIS OR SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN”. I didn’t talk to my boyfriend the way I should have - I wasn’t kind or calm or as respectful as I should have been. Now I’m carrying a lot of shame for that. My ocd has nearly ruined our relationship multiple times and it’s so frustrating and embarrassing.

So I guess what I need advice about is this: what do I do when the obsession has a lot of validity or truth in it? I don’t feel like I can completely ignore it if it’s actually something I need to address. For example, I definitely needed to talk to my boyfriend about what was bothering me. Should I just have delayed the conversation? How do I validate my feelings in these situations without reinforcing my obsession?

I can’t afford a super nice Miele or anything right now, but I am searching for a new vacuum. I was considering the Shark Rocket Pro (corded), but I’d like to hear some other options/recommendations! 🤗

Hi everyone 🤗. I’m just wanting some general advice about pricing the first clean. They always take longer than I anticipate and then I realize I’ve underquoted myself, which frustrates me. Do ya’ll just tell the client you always do a deep clean for the first clean? That way you can charge more and get all the “old dirt” taken care of? Or is charging hourly best for the first clean? I’m just curious what everyone’s system is.