u/ericb67

So now there’s a whole new type of waiting, lol

I keep coming back to this sub to see who has an email to order / configure for delivery. I keep looking at my email, too. I was pretty chill until I went on a test ride a couple of weeks ago. Now I’m in full WANT mode. I have my dream ride configured now that the gear store is open. I received the email with the credit for ordering before 9/7/2026, so it must be coming soon, right? I’m not a young man but I feel like a kid at Christmas. Yeah, I know there are haters out there but I’m not one of them. Let’s do this!

I’m struggling with a contradiction that I suspect some of you may understand.

My wife and I are divorcing after more than 25 years together. Despite everything that’s happened, I don’t hate her. In fact, I genuinely want her to be okay. I want her to find peace, happiness, and whatever she’s looking for in life. I don’t wish her any harm.

At the same time, I have absolutely no desire to have her in my life going forward. If the divorce were finalized tomorrow and I never saw her again for the rest of my life, I think I’d be completely fine with that.

That’s the part I can’t quite reconcile.

For me, love has always included some desire for connection, shared experiences, friendship, or at least some ongoing presence in each other’s lives. But what do you call it when you still care about someone, still want good things for them, but no longer want any relationship with them at all?

Maybe it’s acceptance. Maybe it’s detachment. Maybe it’s just what happens when a relationship has run its course.
Has anyone else felt this way? How did you make sense of it?

I’d appreciate hearing from people who have been through something similar.

I didn’t expect divorce to be easy, but I definitely didn’t expect it to be this hard.

I’m a 58-year-old man, and after a long marriage I told my wife (66) in December that I wanted a divorce. Since then, there have been accusations, anger, hurt feelings, and a lot of things said about me that simply aren’t true. For a long time, I carried that around with me. I was frustrated, defensive, and constantly replaying everything in my head.

Recently, though, something shifted.

I’ve started looking at her differently. Not as someone trying to hurt me, but as someone doing the best she can with the tools she has. Whether I agree with her choices or not, she’s handling this the only way she knows how.

That realization has been surprisingly freeing.

I can’t control what she says about me, what she believes about me, or how she chooses to navigate this divorce. I can spend my energy fighting it, or I can accept that the outcome will be the same either way.

I still care about her. I genuinely want her to be okay. At the same time, I can’t wait for the divorce to be finalized.

The best word I can find for what I’m feeling isn’t anger or even forgiveness. It’s detachment. Not coldness, just a growing acceptance that her reactions belong to her and mine belong to me.

Maybe that’s what healing looks like.

Has anyone else experienced a shift like this during divorce?

TL;DR: After months of frustration, I’ve realized I can’t control how my wife handles the divorce, only how I respond to it. Letting go of the need to fight every battle has brought me a surprising sense of peace and acceptance.